Customer Reviews

Eyewitness - Monster

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(21)

 

 

I think Ed Wood spent more money on Plan 9 From Outer Space. Probably the most expensive part of this movie was the flight to Tokyo.

I absolutely hate the herky-jerky camera and I wasn't kidding about the title of this review as it really did give me a headache. After the first few minutes, I kept wondering when they'd go to a regular steady camera, but it never happened. The next thing I know, a half hour went by and by then I just didn't have the energy to get up and hit the eject button. It was like driving by a car wreck where you just can't stop looking. As I sat there, I kept hoping something would happen to redeem the awful acting and story movement, but it stayed consistently annoying to the end.

The icky bug is almost non-existent. You hear a little roar once in a while, and see the odd octopus arm flash in the background. The art on the DVD box is highly misleading as you NEVER see the monster in as much detail as in that painting.

I can't give it no stars because the rating system would not allow it. I would have given it one star for originality, but wait... Blair Witch???

Save your money and your time. Oh, and one other thing... if you liked this type of hand-held filming, you'll love Cloverfield. I'll pass.

Do yourself a favor and save a few bucks by doing this: Downloading the Cloverfield trailer, watching it once and then waiting for its release. Not only will those two minutes be better than this entire movie, but you'd be excited for Cloverfield's release.

Monster comes from the same studio that brought us Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train, thus you can conclude that it's utter trash completely ripping off its bigger brother, in this case Cloverfield, J.J. Abrams, at the time of this review, yet-to-be-released monster movie.

Like that movie, this movie is about a monster that (instead of New York) attacks Tokyo for reasons unknown. Apparently a cover-up, the monster reigns terror on the denizens of Tokyo and two American filmmakers. These American filmmakers run around the city avoiding the monster while filming whatever they can with their American camera. The two Americans in distress run around, scream, flail and tell everyone with a pulse they're American in the hope of getting out of Tokyo. All of this running around like a chicken with its head cut off action is filmed through a handheld camera and really annoys rather intrigue because the monster is hardly shown. At all.

In fact all you really see is a few tentacles every now and then, legs, some buildings and smoke, not to mention audiovisual distortions that make the Cloverfield trailer look like a Steven Spielberg film. The acting is horrible, with ignorant line after ignorant line spewed out and the action is, well, something a notch below action. Actually, the only action in this movie is the occasional rough camera shake, fall and rumble. Not to mention the monsters roar which is heard around five-hundred million times. With all that noise everywhere, it's hard to find out what the hell the plot is, what everyone is saying and how everything ends. But really, what makes this movie such a big rip is the fact you don't see the monster in its entirety.

It's like having sex with someone you love and then finding out it was really just you the whole time. You feel dirty, you feel ashamed and you wonder why the hell you didn't realize beforehand and in return become slightly more retarded than when you started. All in all, I gave this movie too much time (and hour and a half) and too much credit. This review is way more detailed than the actual movie. Bleh.

Why does this company still exist??? Who rents this stuff and how do they get into the big chain stores??? As usual, utter garbage from Asylum. You've been warned.

This video takes a look at various monsters, both real and imagined, and why they scare us. There's great footage of big spiders, deadly snakes, vampire bats, vultures, sharks, lizards, hyenas, and more -- plus some mythological monsters like Dracula and Medusa, annd real home video footage that could be Bigfoot (or was it a guy in a gorilla suit?) Like all the videos in the Eyewitness series, this one is fast-paced and fun to watch. The half-hour length is just right for use in a standard class period with time for discussion afterward. It would make a great movie for kids around Halloween time, too.

The acting could have been better, but the plot line was good. I kept asking where the monsters were. About half way through the movie I realized the title is the question-- who are the monsters? If you are looking for science fiction, you may not like it. If you are looking for a social commentary you may find it thought provoking.

"Monster" is a film in the style of Cloverfield or the Blair Witch Project. We know that the protagonists are not going to come to a happy end. We know the film footage is going to be from a jerky handheld. "Monster" has no music, no fancy edits or scene transitions, nada. If you do not like that type of film, then this is not the film for you. I do like that type of film, so I give it four stars.

The actresses run around filming the destruction of Tokyo. The actresses look good on camera and have pleasant voices; those qualities are extremely important because the women are in every shot. Will they escape? Will the world be warned of the monsters that global warming and oceanic pollution awakens? Nah. Will the herky-jerky camerawork make me nauseous? Yeah. More of a plot, more of a non-monstrous threat (conspiracy, military, criminals, whatever), more monster screentime would have kicked this up to five stars.

With the exception of the Times-Square-style shots, this whole movie could have been filmed in Little Tokyo in downtown Los Angeles. The end credits say that Los Angeles was a location, so perhaps Little Tokyo was used. The DVD has no "Commentary" feature, so the locations will remain a mystery.

This is the fifth asylum film that I have watched in the past 72 hours. It is the most effective movie, though "The Land that Time Forgot" is more fun.

I rented this movie a year ago, and I didn't really like it. I wanted to see the monster a lot more, but it mostly had two sisters talking the whole time. I wasn't able to see how it ended because the DVD screwed up! I wouldn't recommend MONSTER!!!

MONSTER

It kills me to do this but it appears that I have no choice; I really did not enjoy this film. Normally [and anybody who has read my reviews will tell you] I look towards the positives of a film a like to rate it on that, normally I enjoy even the worst b movies ever. This film how ever is just not really all that good, and it disappoints me because I actually like The Asylum [the production company]. These guys are well known for their mockumentaries [cheap rip offs] but to their credit they also do original work as well. This one obviously is a mockumentay of "Cloverfield", and that film is an Oscar worthy film compared to this one. It is seriously an annoyance to the eyes; it is right up there with what I said about that girl in my review of "Prey".

The story of this film is as follows; tell me if it sounds familiar at times. Two American filmmakers head to Tokyo to film a documentary on global warming, sounds ok right? Once there they are interrupted by a monster [cue terrifying music in the back ground] attacking the city, thing is this monster is as big as the skyscrapers that over look the city. Well you guess that much because you never see the monster minus a few shots of its tentacles. So now the race is on to get out of the city alive and oh yeah film this thing every step of the way no matter how much it gets you into trouble. Sounds interesting..............right?

Erik Estenberg {director} and David Michael Latt {producer} must have written this film in less then 20 minutes, and I know they the only did this film for the quick money. Normally both of these guys do much better with their films from this company, but this is just beyond belief. I have no clue if the script was really this bad or if it was just because of how terrible the actors delivered it, but something is wrong here. But let's get to the real problems here, the awful acting and the even worse camera work. The acting in this film is no where to even being close to believable, even for this type of film it is bad. Sarah Lieving and Erin Sullivan are down right annoying in this film, Sarah more so then Erin. They start out ok but once the attack starts, they loose all focus on making this believable, though Erin seems to be a much better actor then Sarah. Also the camera work in this film is horrible; "Cloverfield and Blair Witch" must have been shot by the guy who did the Lord of the Rings compared to this. Really the film is so hard to follow and it even hurts your eyes sometimes trying to watch this, the editing maybe to blame here but man was it bad. The film actually cuts out at times and skips, and the picture gets interrupted, and color goes off, and sound goes down, and man this is just hard to watch. I really don't know how to explain this problem in very much detail; I guess all that kinda makes sense with a creature destroying things around you.

Don't think every thing about this film is bad though, the first 10 or 15 minutes is ok. I mean that the camera work is not horrible and the acting is some what ok up until the first attack scene. And the stuff I mentioned above about all the stuff with the camera work and the picture, color, and sound and stuff while it is extremely annoying may also be ingenious. Don't get it wrong I absolutely hate that stuff and that stuff made me dislike the film, but it also helped the company out a lot. Think about that for a second, because they did that stuff a certain times they could hide the budget better. No good shots of the creature because the picture went out, reasonable because some cameras may act like that and they didn't have to spend money on creature shots. Now that does not excuse this film from being what it is, but it does make sense from a business stand point.

I think that this is probably one of if not the worst movies I have ever watched; honestly it should never have been made. I' am starting to think I made a bad decision in purchasing this, what do you think?

Okay, first off, I am a HUGE fan of the DaiKaiju (Japanes giant monster film) genre. That said, I admit to being VERY excited to see this film. The cover art is great, and depicts a huge tentacled creature emerging from the ground to topple a skyscraper. I had high hopes for 'Cloverfield' when the project was announced, and was mildly pleased with that offering. However it still had it's weak points-mainly the annoying acting by the main character (the fellow 'filming' the live 'events'), and the short supply of good monster footage. But this review is about the new film 'Monster'--not 'Cloverfield'. In my opinion, they should have called this movie 'What Monster?'
Let us begin: the setup is that there was a 'cover-up' regarding a disastrous 7.8 'earthquake' in Japan in 2003 which killed thousands and has been exposed as 'something else' by this 'found footage' (Grrroooaaaan-not AGAIN)! But this film is actually an excersise in what NOT to do in a 'mock reality monster drama'...first, don't GREENLIGHT such a horribly written story plot by a novice writer, second, don't hire such a terrible director (getting the picture?)...third, don't hire annoyingly BAD actresses to play the main roles--these girls are SO BAD at acting realistic, they make most Soap Opera actresses look like Meryl Streep. They are supposed to be sisters-however look NOTHING alike(?). BFF's would have been more believeable at least. After a solid 10 minutes on nonsensical bullcrap, pissing and moaning about this and that, preening for the camera, etc.,etc., they finally arrive at their destination in Tokyo to film a 'global warming' documentary. A Documentary with TWO people working on it (as the Japanese Minister Of Affairs comments "Tiny crew", the one chick quips back "Extremely efficient crew!" Yeah...ummm...okay--more like 'tiny budget'). Noone bothers to explain WHY they would need to go to JAPAN to document 'global warming'--just some jibber jabber about America being the most guilty country of all regarding ruining the earth's ozone layer, and having a possible non-trade decision passed against us by Japan as a result. Script writing classes anyone? It is at this time we hear sirens passing by, and the ground suddenly begins to shake--the Minister Of Affairs quickly explains that Japan often gets such tremors due to the faultline. Then everything just falls apart. I mean the FILM-not the BUILDING. The next thing we know, the sisters are in a 'shelter' somewhere beneath the building with an American who works in Japan--yet knows very little Japanese (???)--who SOMEHOW found out there were 2 Americans hiding in this secluded 'shelter'!!! Plot holes anyone? Anyway, let's get to the meat and potatoes of this filmed on digital gem--oh wait--there AREN'T ANY!!! All we get are ANNOYING, flashing, cutting, blinking pieces of imagery...screams from the crowds of running people (whom we hardly ever see)...and the roars of the as of yet unseen titular creature. I recall looking at my counter and seeing we were over 40 minutes into the 'movie', yet we had still seen NOTHING. Nothing but bad acting galore, white noise, and headache inducing camera work. It seems the only good footage which shows the 'monster', was on 'Tape #3'-which was conveniently 'damaged beyond repair' when the films were 'found' (ala 'Blair Witch Project). This is explained when the sister filming tells the other sister (who STILL hasn't seen the monster either-but has been running from it for the last 30 minutes) to "PLEEEASSE--just look at the TAPE if you don't believe me!" My God-if I could have given this piece of crap LESS than one star--I would have. MINUS ZERO STARS would be my choice. BTW-to the person who gave this movie 4 out of 5 stars near the top of this page and RAVES about how incredible the film is--I realize you must be either the writer, director, or an actor in this MESS-and you had to TRY and balance out the negative reviews somehow! Please...just do us and yourself a favor and LEARN from your mistake and don't make anymore films. Okay-back to the mess. So by the ONE HOUR mark, we have seen the flicker of a tentacle or two over the top of a building--that's IT. Then we get the second 'homage' (I'm being kind) to 'Blair Witch' in which the gals decide they are going to die-so they'd better leave testimonials as to what happened to them for us and their families, and to show everyone what TRULY went down in Japan. By this point WE JUST DON'T CARE and want too see our 'MONSTER' already DAMMIT!!! Well...when we DO get to see 'it'...is it worth the wait? That depends on if you call 3rd rate CGI worthy of a regular Xbox game 'worth the wait'. Godzilla it ain't (and by Godzilla I MEAN the TRUE Toho Godzilla-not Tri-Star's failed fiasco). These FX are among the WORST of the 'Made for Sci-Fi Channel' flix-a sub genre of films I TRULY HATE. And do we see the entire creature? Nope. Just a bunch of those nifty 'tentacles' coming out of the ground. Where were the ghastly roars coming from? The thing obviously has a head-or even a MOUTH at least for God's sake! Hint to the writer and director-if you are going to try and fleece cash from Giant Monster film fans-SHOW THE DAMN MONSTER YOU FOOLS! If your 'budget' (which I'm sure was spent entirely on plane fare to Japan, and hotels/catering for the entire crew) does NOT permit you to SHOW the 'monster'--DON'T CALL YOUR MOVIE 'MONSTER'!!! Call it '2 American Chicks Running Around Japan Screaming'! Sheesh! In closing, I'd like to say that I was SO inspired by the horribleness of this viewing expierience, that I made it a POINT to write this review to save millions of Kaiju fans the wasted 90 minutes of my life which I will NEVER get back. Thank you Mr. Director. PLEASE-save your TIME as well as your money--avoid 'Monster' at all costs. Go watch the original 1954 classic 'Gojira' again...even 'Cloverfield' for that matter. Whew! I feel like going and punching something just from the bad taste this movie left in my mouth...I have to go and vomit now. Thanks for listening...

Started to watch this movie - quickly realized that I was wasting my time and stopped watching it. Apart from being boring, images were bouncing (looked like camera was run by a child), it was grating to my nerves, and utterly uninteresting!

My recommendations - I don't have any except to avoid this movie!