Customer Reviews

The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Grace Under Pressure: Extreme Etiquette for the Stickiest, Trickiest, Most Outrageous Situations of Your Life

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The concept of the Fabulous Girl (FG) first came up in Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh's first book, "The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum." But they belly-flop in their second book, "The Fabulous Girl's Guide To Grace Under Pressure," primarily because it comes across as a retread of the first book.

What do you do if you have a crush on a coworker -- and you already have a guy? How do you deal with a scandal? Being caught in flagrante by your boss? (Hint: Say it will never happen again!) And what about blind date etiquette? Izzo and Marsh cover these problems and many more, covering friends, sex, dating, work and longtime relationships.

For a modern woman, the field of etiquette can be a tricky one. How can you be courteous at your work and everyday life, without losing the necessary toughness? Izzo and Marsh have a fair number of tips for where the lines should be drawn. Good tips, bad tips, and really ugly tips ("He proposes, but you're not ready").

The biggest problem with "Guide to Grace" is that it treads very little new turf. Like its predecessor, it's mostly about manners. Not serious pressure. And when reading tips on relationships and workplace problems, there's a certain feeling of deja vu. It's like Izzo and Marsh had to write another book, but couldn't quite think of enough original material, so they retread old ground.

What's more, it doesn't really handle situations that are "under pressure." Okay, you have a friend who is a wolf in sheep's clothing. How is that "pressure"? It's a mildly sticky situation, but certainly not anything to get too worked up about. There are a handful of situations that are genuinely tense -- such as advice on stalker ex-boyfriends -- but there's a lot more on how to avoid embarrassment. Not sticky, not tricky, not outrageous -- just moderately embarrassing.

Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh boldly go where they've already gone in "The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Grace Under Pressure." While it has some fairly interesting tips -- but nothing too "pressured" -- this book ends up feeling stale and thin as a month-old Saltine.

The advice was ho hum, but the disturbing undercurrent about the book was the basic definition of a "fabulous girl"--the world these authors describe is a world in which the FG is one who may have sex with anyone, anywhere, any time, etc. Example, on sex in public: "sometimes she just can't help herself." On having VD: "You realize that it could have been one of five men who gave it to you and that means you may have given it to any and all of the others. Ugh." Ugh indeed.

How about calling it "The Call-Girl's guide to f*** etiquette?" As a fabulous girl, I was appalled. Bought it, read it, returned it. Is that a faux-pas?? Apologies to social dilettantes Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.

Don't read this book if you're feeling morally evolved and compassionate; but do read it if you feel like being wicked, shallow, and frivolous. There's a place for that. You read this book in the same way that you read Cosmopolitan or a tawdry romance novel-for the fantasy of it. There are days when you feel like wearing stiletto heels and skimming the surface of social interaction. This book is good for that sort of narcissism.

Read this book as a source of ideas, but get some other sources as well; I'm told that Emily Post and your mother have some good thoughts. We all need advice for sticky and tricky situations, and this one pampers your fantasy life even as it offers some chatty common sense (or, other times, some awful ploys-read Grace Under Pressure with a grain of salt under your tongue).

I've used this book when I'm in a snit with a friend. I've used this book to bolster my confidence. I've used this book as a source of catty catharsis- but bear the following in mind: it's easy to outgrow this book. It's neither mature nor classy. It's only good for those days when you feel like returning to the center of the universe.

Read Grace Under Pressure in bed, with a box of chocolates and rollers in your hair. It'll make you feel feminine, in charge, and worthy of those towering five-inch heels. Just remember how practical five-inch heels are, and place this book in the same category.

This book is kind of cute, but it was definitely not what I expected. To be honest after attempting to read the book several times I gave up without finishing it. The advice the book does give on etiquette is just plain common sense. There isn't anything "sticky, tricky, or outrageous" about the situations described in this book.
If you're looking for a book of how to handle modern day etiquette I would definitely read "Things You Need to be Told" by the Etiquette Grrls.

A friend of mine gave me this drivel about a year ago, and upon cleaning out my bookshelf, I came across this 'Fabulous Girl' and her 'Guide to Grace Under Pressure.' We had a blackout and I read it out of boredom.

I always hear 'it's my day' in various forms, but the wedding is for the family as well, who have also dreamed of seeing you a bride as well. This doesn't mean a traditional wedding, it just means that they would have wished to have seen you marry your husband.

Although some sneak away from the reception and consummate their vows, it is best left to a private honeymoon suite and not to reception site locations, most disgustingly the loo, which the authors mention several times. (Am I the only one that thinks 'UGH!?' Please, please don't consummate your marriage in a bathroom--they even mention that should one be using the facilities for their intended, actual purpose: "Even if that does mean peeing in the next stall with the bride's train covering up your feet." (pg 272)

Furthermore, I disagree that the bride must not wear white. Over the years the bride in white (or candlelight or eggshell or jewel tones or whatever you wish) are all acceptable colors because, especially white, represents joy. The aspect of the 'second-time' bride's ensemble that should be nixed is the veil. Veils symbolize purity and virgnity. (And many second-timers and thirdtimers...wear veils.)

I'll stick to these remaining gems of wisdom:

*No, it is not okay to give a child a small amount of "pain relief" to make them sleepy for the duration of a flight. (pg 314) I cannot find if either Izzo or Marsh have children, but I am highly curious who these 'some doctors' are that advocate this off-label use, so that none of my children accidently end up in their pediatric clinic.

*(In regards to a drunken driving arrest) If one of my friends called to bail them out for driving drunk, which I think we can all safely agree is a serious offense, she suggested not giving her friends any sort of lecture. (pg 87) I have to disagree on this one. I've been in this situation, (picking up a friend from the drunk tank) My friend looked a mess as well. But I'd rather say something at that moment than nothing at all: "Please do not drink and drive again." And, although Izza and Marsh say it's gauche, I would tell her immediate family that you are concerned about her drinking and (I agree with them!) shut down the rumorville and don't let loose lips sink ships after that. Let the family follow the path they think is best for them.

*How does a grown woman use the toilet properly? Answers on (pg 75)

*Ignore the entire money chapter. I've found lending loans is a good way to lose friends. Get a book written about finance from the beginning and go from there. Please, just don't read it. Even my arch-nemesis Susie Orman has better financial advice.

*I completely realize this book is from 2004, but two people holed up inside of a airplane bathroom is, I'm going to guess, some sort of suspicious behavior. Plus, ugh, the loo, again!? Am I the only one that finds this revolting!?
*Please, for the love of all that is holy, VIs are more than just lumps and bumps--there are countless ones, not forgetting HIV/AIDS.
*Those women left a clearly intoxicated friend to wonder off at a very large party by herself. I know the jokes about women traveling in pairs, and poor Elenor's situation--and while she put herself at risk and is now a mother, she could have experienced things not worth mentioning.

Boo, two thumbs down, awful awful awful book. Go back to Peggy Post.

This book is a little silly. Not much practical advice that isn't common sense. I should've known that it would be that way when I heard the authors complaining about people chewing gum on TV. People chew gum, be glad it isn't tobacco and they're not spitting all over the place!

If you want and ettiquette in it's pure form, get the big old Peggy Post book. This seems like it's more how to be a snotty, yuppie than a poised, respectable young woman.