41 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Aging = dead woman walking? Not after reading this book!, April 29, 2010
This review is from: Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change (Hardcover)
This slim little volume is a deep book. The authors explain how women today have many years left to live, but are afraid to go there. We all have the day where we realize the world no longer sees us as we see ourselves, and little bit of us kind of dies inside. We can't look to our mothers as role models, they weren't forced to pretend they were eternally 20 to remain in the game. As the authors point out, we can't pretend to be eternally 20 either. We owe it to ourselves and our daughters to model a better way of growing older. Letting go of our youthful image, say the authors, "does not mean denying youth or repressing youthful memories. [As in adolescence] it means saying goodbye [to your young version of yourself] to make room for what comes next."
We all know our culture links youth with beauty; the authors tell us not to punish ourselves for trying to live up to such an unreasonable standard. We can't get any younger, it's just not gonna happen. So how do we face the fear--the real fear here--of becoming unloved, unlovable, marginalized, dead-to-the-world, still-walking-around female human beings? These galz give us a road map. I can't do it justice in this short review, but I think their case studies and practical suggestions are gold.
When young women can't imagine what they'll do with their lives after they turn 50, then we need to show them. It's the least we can do for them, and ourselves.
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36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Solid steps for any type of change in life, May 25, 2010
This review is from: Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change (Hardcover)
I really loved this book. It is not a book about about staying beautiful nor is it a book full of trite pop psychology mantra about how beauty is within. The truth is that we do possess inner beauty but in this culture, our outer beauty is still important.
The authors have an incredible insight on the psychological effects of women aging. As a former beautiful co-ed turned middle age suburban housewife/professional counselor/mother, I couldn't agree more with the authors take on beauty and the aging woman. We go through an "Uh-oh" moment and thus begins our journey. For me it was when the cute guy flirted shamelessly and I realized his target was my little girl. Little meaning 14 years old and 5'7".
The authors' approach to the aging process is to resolve the beauty paradox. Through specific steps and anecdotal evidence based on their combined years of private practice, the authors guide the reader through the process. Frankly, the steps could be used for any life altering event.
Step 1. Turn Uh-Oh moments into Ah-ha moments.
Step 2. The only mask you wear should be made of honey and yogurt. Essentially, aging is not a dirty word. Come out of hiding and accept the outer self you are becoming
Step 3. Talk back to your internal dialogues. What is the message you are hearing in your head? Reframe it.
Step 4. Give Mom her due. Take the best of her and leave the rest behind. Her aging process is not the same as your own. The cultural experiences are different. It's not your mother's fault. Or your father's. Or your own. Again, reframe the experience.
Step 5. Use adolescent memories instead of repeating them. Remember how awkward we felt growing into our bodies and fashions? Avoid the impulsive decisions we made back then.
Step 6. Saying Goodbye is hard to do. But saying goodbye to something is the first step to saying hello to another.
The authors provide excellent and personal insight into the journey of the aging woman. The aging woman can be anybody from 23 to 93. The authors are really guiding the reader in accepting any kind of change that is difficult.
Highly recommend this book to anybody - but especially the woman of any age going through tumult due to aging, infidelity of either partner, illness, etc.
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38 of 43 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
MaryinHB www.maryinhb.blogspot.com, March 16, 2010
This review is from: Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change (Hardcover)
Ever feel like you are still 20-30 years old and then you look in the mirror and wonder, "where the heck did this face come from"? With culture in the US, especially with all of the reality shows like the Real Housewives, magazines telling us why we should get that face life now and being pounded day after day with the necessity for a youthful face, it is amazing any of us can even get out of bed each day. This is the right book at the right time for women my age. The book provides 6 steps for you to work through your own phobias about what your look like and how to accept it. I really recommend this book to any one having these issues and if you are a woman of a certain age, I bet just like me, you are having these thoughts!
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