Customer Reviews

Face Your Fear: Living with Courage in an Age of Caution

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The chapter that made the biggest impact on me in "Face Your Fear" as I read it was "What Stuff Are We Made Of." It especially gave me an uncanny feeling when Rabbi Boteach talked about how women sometimes fall into the trap of cheap and unsatisfying relationships (which usually culminate painfully for them) because they find themselves in dire need for male attention - even from men who would rather sleep with them than create a caring relationship.
The night before I read this chapter I spoke to a friend in an Ivy League college in Boston who is trying his best to "get it on" with a girl (in his words - "any girl"). He told me that he hit rock bottom dating someone who didn't want to go "to the next step" that quickly fearing that she would get hurt again after he would use her up, to put it bluntly. I felt that the chapter perfectly mirrored this girl's situation. Rabbi Boteach explains how these women lacked a loving father in their lives and therefore wanted to compensate that with a base and uncaring boyfriend. While the fact that this girl having had her father walk out on her when she was only seven years old and she never saw him again, tugged an inner emotional chord in me that still shakes.
But, in terms of broader substance, I have to thank Rabbi Boteach for teaching me that fear is something not to be proud of, but be cautious about. In fact, be deliberately aggressive to eradicate it completely. Alarmingly, it encompasses practically everything I do, from taking exams in school to interacting with people, and I never even knew that these edgy feelings are called fears. They constantly try to undermine my hard-pressed efforts and abilities to reach my potential. Instead of facing them with genuine and unswerving resolve, I tend to cop out.
The first part of the book called "The Case Against Fear" categorically pinned down for me the different kinds of fears that are found not just in an individual ("me") but in a collective group or people ("us") dealing with a wide-range of existential forces that continually bombards us with fear symptoms, such as politics and corporate business. Rabbi Boteach even tackles the issue of our fear of death.
Undoubtedly the strongest dose of inspiration that I got from Rabbi Boteach is from what he calls "the mother of all fears", which is, "the fear of insignificance." He says that this huge worry that's invariably locked inside our minds governs our scariest and most unshakable fears.
In the second part of the book "To Conquer Fear" he tells us how to "overcome our fear" and especially the fear of us being utterly and despondently insignificance. He also debunks the various myths about the alleged positive side of fear. He says that basically we can't derive any good from fear because it's inherently bad as an element that's antithetical to love. Therefore we must strive to destroy our fears by imbibing the waters of love.
But what makes this work real is the candid and the down-to-earth prose. "The instructions for overcoming fear that you will find in this book do not consist of abstract concepts, appropriate only for meditation and inappropriate in the real world. This book is a spiritual book that seeks to identify the underlying causes of fear" (pg. 8). Meaning that its not a vacuum cleaner that one can just let it rip while sitting back and having all the fear miraculously sucked out from out of him or her. There has to be an active participation and will to make this transition work. But when the person finds his or her love and confidence, it's as strong as a fortress on top of a precipitating cliff defending the person against the many
fears.

It's a lifesaver. Mr. Shmuley Boteach has been given the gift of wisdom for him to impart these truthful observations about fear, for all of us. Fear is a basic emotional ingredient in our lives, and a useless one at that. He teaches us how to combat it. And combat it for good.
God led me to buy this book, just when I Needed it Most. It's honest and very readable. Mr. Shmuley, thank you!

I bought this book after seeing Rabbi Shmuley on his television show, which I believe airs on The Learning Channel (TLC). He artfully helps mend families who are near the breaking point. His wisdom and talent are beyond the beyonds if you ask me.

The ideas in the book are enlightening/thought provoking. He mentions the idea that our greatest fear is the fear of being insignificant, which is something I had never thought about and feel is likely true.

I enjoy the way the author uses wonderfully profound and inspirational quotes at the beginning of each chapter. Major concepts within each chapter are highlighted in bold.

My only objection to this book is the frequent mention of political ideas/concepts. I found myself laughing a few times that the Rabbi was indeed without fear to include so many references to world politics/civics, etc. that it might be a distraction for some readers. Due to this little "flaw," my ideal rating for the book would be a "4.5"

However, do not let that detract you from buying this book. It seems to be written with a lot of wisdom, experience and love.
AAF

Rabbi Shmuley points out the fact that we are living in the best of times these days. And yet, many of us are enslaved by fear. Contrary to popular belief, fear is not a good thing. I used to think fear kept me out of trouble, but that is not the case. Although fear probably did keep me safe in many instances, it also kept me from doing many important things. The bad things fear have caused in my life FAR outweigh the good.

That isn't to say we shouldn't exercise caution. However, exercising caution shouldn't be an excuse to be fearful. So how does one overcome fear? It's not enough to just tell yourself to stop being afraid. Rabbi Shmuley presents many ideas on how to change your thinking in order to overcome fear. For example, turning the TV off is one of those great ways. Do not most of our fears come from the news? Turning off the TV may sound like torture, but watching it is of little value. For the last several years the media has done a good job of making us afraid of Y2K, terrorism, mad cow disease, kidnappers, swine flu, and I'm sure you can think of many others.

The book probably could have been a little shorter, but it was still a great read. This book should probably be read more than once (if you found it helpful the first time) since so many ideas are presented.

This book was a life changer for me and I am re-reading it again with a highlighter in hand. A real eye opener, I hadn't realized how many things I did or did not do based on fear.

From the book, pg 117 "I will not die that cold horrible death of having my uniqueness snuffed out because I am afraid of being out of step. I will not die the silent death of being afraid to articulate views that are unpopular. I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt........." Shmuley Boteach

Powerful!

I am reading many books by the Rabbi right now and this compliments his other books and teachings.

I have read many of Rabbi Shumley's books and they are all great, including this one!

I own three of Shmuley Boteach's books. Aside from this one, which I will soon be selling, I also have 'Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments' and 'Why Can't I Fall In Love?'. Those two books are excellent and I frequently recommend them to people. This book, however, is a thinly-veiled argument strongly in favour of the current Republican "War on Terror" and in proliferating similar activities around the world, all in the guise of defeating your own personal fears. It's a very politically-focused book and every second sentence seems to mention either Osama, a pro-Bush stance, the September 11 attacks, or some kind of heavy-handed generalisations about political conflicts.

Here's one example, taken at random:

"Roosevelt knew that . . . Hitler and the Nazis were the darkness. They were evil and the allies were good. Any conciliation would represent an unacceptable deal with the devil."

Now, before you think that I'm defending Nazis, let me tell you unequivocally that I'm not. However, this "good vs evil" way of thinking is not only painfully simplistic in a political context, but throughout the book it seems it's only there to elicit an emotional rise from the readers in accordance with current politically-correct views--it's emotional manipulation, people!

He also drags the USA's prior treatment of blacks out and mixes it in with how Jews are always fearful because they've "endured two-thousand years of slaughter", and so on. The problem isn't with the issues being spoken of, it's with the fact that they are used in a deliberate attempt to manipulate.

I will sell my copy of this book rather than finish reading it. The politics gets in the way of any good advice that might be found here. In fact, I suspect that the book is a vehicle for promoting his political views and has nothing truly to do with helping people overcome their own personal issues with their fears.