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Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives Paperback – April 29, 2003
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Top Customer Reviews
Mellody methodically dissects the disorder she calls codependency. She first explains how when working with addicted individuals as a nurse in a recovery center in Arizona she saw a repeated pattern of dysfunctional behavior in individuals and their families that went beyond the addictions for which the individuals were being treated. Her work there and her own personal development led to the conclusions in this book. (One of the wonderful aspects of the book is that when Mellody talks about codependents and their behavior) she does not speak condescendingly about "those codependents", but rather uses examples that begin with "I" or "us." This creates a powerful intimacy.
There are four main sections to the book. The first section details what she sees as the core symptoms of codependency: difficulty experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, difficulty setting functional boundaries, difficulty owning and expressing one's own reality, difficulty taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and difficulty behaving moderately. The second section details how dysfunctional family can push a child (whom Mellody describes as inherently valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent, and immature) into codependency.Read more ›
The only downside I have found so far is that nearly all of Ms.Read more ›
I came into this subject as my wife has been diagnosed with codependancy. The Melodie Beatty books don't come close to describing her symtoms. Pia's book hits her case perfectly. So the usefulness of this book will depend upon which of the two cases concern you.
This books gives the clearest and most detailed explanation of the symptoms and progression of this illness I have come across and her metaphors for describing some of the internal driving forces behind the behaviours are excellent.
One thing that may irritate some is that Pia describes almost any form of dysfunctional parenting as abuse - whilst she is right by her definition it can appear harsh. Her sections upon dysfunctional parenting are extremely helpful - especially as codependants usually pass the disease to their children via this mechanism.
All in all, if you have a form of codependancy induced during childhood I believe this book is a MUST ahve.
This book describes why and how codependents come about. It describes the causes as well as the symptoms. Majority of it has to do with our childhood experience, especially with the caregivers.
Unlike one reviewer, I do not think this book "bashes" the parents. Parents naturally account for most responsibilities when we were children. After we learned about these, we have to nurture the gratitute and know that our parents did the best they knew.
The book offers excellent coverage among all of the causes, symtoms, and some recovery strategies.
For more information on recovery, one should read Pia's newest book "Intimacy Factor" for more information, and "Breaking Free" for step by step workbook. Attending local CoDependency Anonymous (CoDA) meetings also helped me, but not as much as Pia's books.
I've read all three of Pia's books. I am so grateful Pia would spend the time and energy to write these books. They helped me tremandeously. I highly recommend Pia's books.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
GREAT information on how we are affected by our past. A more accurate title for the book could be, "Facing Your Relationship with Yourself". HIGHLY recommend. Read morePublished 1 day ago by M Stinson
Very useful information in a format that is easy to absorb and utilize. Simplified approach that takes the drama out of changing old habits and biases.Published 13 days ago by Candace Blodgett
I have bought several copies and given them to friends and family. I have never done that with a book before in my life. This book changed my life. Read morePublished 15 days ago by Maria Marcus
It goes deeper than any other codependency book I have read so far. For years I struggled to understand why I have such a codependency problem, as well as my siblings. Read morePublished 15 days ago by Marsha Jauregui
Excellent book with lots of insightful information to utilize to recognize and heal our abusive childhoods. I don't have to agree with everything Ms. Read morePublished 2 months ago by MJ
Absolutely a life changing book. Answers so many questions about my family, background and how I currently navigate life.Published 2 months ago by H. K. Escandon