Customer Reviews

It's Not Fair, Jeremy Spencer's Parents Let Him Stay up All Night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting

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Without a doubt, this is the best book I have ever read on handling children. I've read all the classics, and each of them taught me little bits here and there, but this was the only book where every single chapter spoke to me. Not only is the advice terrific, but Wolf gives explanations for some behaviors that otherwise didn't make any sense.

Did you ever pick up the phone when your child was playing quietly? You know what happens, right? Your child suddenly needs your assistance THIS MINUTE and will make it impossible for you to have a conversation. The same thing happens if you get a visitor or run into someone when your child was otherwise perfectly happy. Anthony Wolf tells you why your child does this. And better yet, he tells you what you can do to STOP this!

While implementing his strategy takes some self-control, it is not difficult, and there isn't a lot to remember. The important thing is to be consistent and use his approach whenever you deal with tantrums or interruptions. He calls this approach Robo-Parent. When it's clear that the child is just trying to keep you hooked into an argument, you stop talking and remove the child to his room. At our house we just say "Goodbye." It's kind of like a time-out in that it resets everyone's mood, but there's no clock. The child can come back whenever he's ready to behave. Usually my kids just go to their room and come right back out. It's not a punishment.

In fact Wolf clearly disapproves of punishing children, because he says shaming and hurting is counter-productive. Think about an abusive boss you had and how eager you were to do your best with that behavior. That's how your kids feel too. This approach leads to better feelings for everyone.

Wolf has another book out called _Secrets of Parenting_ which is mostly taken from this book. Buy one or the other as there is a tremendous amount of overlap. Both are appropriate in handling children between 2 and 12; he has another book on dealing with teenagers.

This book tought me how to parent better than any other book I have ever read. People always comment to me on how well behaved my kids are and its all due to Anthony Wolfe. Wolfe tells you in simple (and amusing) ways how to parent without punishment, bribes, or driving YOURSELF crazy! Now, if parenting without punishment sounds like being "soft", its not. I am a much tougher parent than most of the people I know. Wolfe has helped me learn to use my own "power" as a parent to get well behaved kids without threats or punishment. Everyone with kids under the age of 12 should read this book.

I was turned onto this book by an educator/book specialist at my local ZanyBrainy, since she knew that I am a recent step-parent and want to parent correctly. Dr. Wolf not only pointed out to me through this wonderful text, the reasons behind the young one's sometimes difficult to understand behavior, but he pointed out to me the reasons why I behave the way I do in my reactions with my life partner. Never before have I stared at writing on a page and said without reservation, "that's me..." I am now more comfortable with my parenting decisions because I know how I am affecting these small people, for the rest of their lives. Even more I am now aware of how to handle myself in situations of confusion and frustration in my relationship. Thank you Dr. Wolf for helping me see me and feel good about helping raising children in the 90's

Wow! This is the first book I ever read that explained that when your child says "Mommy, I hate you," it's actually a good sign. I found it very comforting at a time when my kids were crazed as a result of being pawns in a nasty divorce. (Things are better now.) - Carrie in Boston

My book club read this book while my daughter was an infant. I thought it was sort of psycho-babbly. Then my daughter neared her second birthday, and I searched out this book again. All of a sudden it made perfect sense!

I won't say this is the only parenting book you will ever need, but it certainly makes some very valid points, and provides you with actual techniques to apply to your daily ruckus. I recommend it to friends, and now to you too!

I have read a lot of parenting books, this one is the best by far. It was as if he stepped in my home and saw our day to day interactions with our kids, and he gave specifics on how to solve each problem. Great Book, I wished I had read this long before now, it would have more peaceful at home.

At last! No gibberish parenting advice talking about nothing. The only parenting book I recommend my husband to read. Move over "siblings without rivalry", and what is this Alfie Kohn talking about - I am not wasting time on him anymore!