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Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious [Hardcover]

Chris Stedman
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 6, 2012
The story of a former Evangelical Christian turned openly gay atheist who now works to bridge the divide between atheists and the religious

The stunning popularity of the “New Atheist” movement—whose most famous spokesmen include Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and the late Christopher Hitchens—speaks to both the growing ranks of atheists and the widespread, vehement disdain for religion among many of them. In Faitheist, Chris Stedman tells his own story to challenge the orthodoxies of this movement and make a passionate argument that atheists should engage religious diversity respectfully.
 
Becoming aware of injustice, and craving community, Stedman became a “born-again” Christian in late childhood. The idea of a community bound by God’s love—a love that was undeserved, unending, and guaranteed—captivated him. It was, he writes, a place to belong and a framework for making sense of suffering.
 
But Stedman’s religious community did not embody this idea of God’s love: they were staunchly homophobic at a time when he was slowly coming to realize that he was gay. The great suffering this caused him might have turned Stedman into a life-long New Atheist. But over time he came to know more open-minded Christians, and his interest in service work brought him into contact with people from a wide variety of religious backgrounds. His own religious beliefs might have fallen away, but his desire to change the world for the better remained. Disdain and hostility toward religion was holding him back from engaging in meaningful work with people of faith. And it was keeping him from full relationships with them—the kinds of relationships that break down intolerance and improve the world.
 
In Faitheist, Stedman draws on his work organizing interfaith and secular communities, his academic study of religion, and his own experiences to argue for the necessity of bridging the growing chasm between atheists and the religious. As someone who has stood on both sides of the divide, Stedman is uniquely positioned to present a way for atheists and the religious to find common ground and work together to make this world—the one world we can all agree on—a better place.
 

Frequently Bought Together

Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious + Sacred Ground: Pluralism, Prejudice, and the Promise of America + Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road?: Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World
Price for all three: $51.01

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Christians like me have heard lots of ‘testimonies’—how I once was lost but now am found, was blind ... and so on. We've heard how atheists converted to Christianity, how backsliders came back to piety, and how heretics returned to orthodoxy. What we haven’t heard enough of is testimonies about how a Christian became an atheist or how an atheist became a faitheist or how a gay Evangelical came out of the closet and out of the church. I’ve never read, heard, or met anyone better suited to this task than Chris Stedman. His beautiful writing voice, his poignant story-telling skill, his clear-eyed insight, his humane and humble empathy uniquely equip him to bear witness to everyone—especially Christians like me. Rigid anti-theists and theists alike will be challenged as they read—challenged to greater humanity, empathy, and understanding. Wholeheartedly recommended.”—Brian D. McLaren, author of Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road?

“Smart. Funny. Heartening. Inspiring. Faitheist is the perfect book for those seeking a middle path between the firm, opposing certainties of religious fundamentalism and intolerant atheism.”—Reza Aslan, author of No god but God and Beyond Fundamentalism

“If Chris Stedman had become a pastor, he’d have a big, big church. Instead, he’s a humanist hero, a compelling writer whose efforts to build bridges between non-believers and the faithful will leave a lasting mark. Faitheist should be required reading in Sunday schools and Richard Dawkins’s house alike.” —Kevin Roose, author of The Unlikely Disciple

Agree or disagree with Chris Stedman (and there will be many who do both), no one can deny that he has written a deeply human book—human in its description of his own pilgrimage and human in its call to theists and non-theists alike to seek out common ground. The world would be a better place with more Chris Stedman’s in it and fortunately he has provided us a roadmap to just such a world.”—The Rev. William F. Schulz, President, Unitarian Universalist Service Committee

“Who can we be together? Chris Stedman asks in this powerful book. Faitheist reveals that it’s not what we believe that matters, but how our beliefs shape what we do with our lives—a timely reminder for both atheists and the religious that the goal should be neither conversion nor the destruction of religion, but rather to make a better world.”—Sarah Sentilles, author of Breaking Up with God: A Love Story
 
 “Stedman the atheist pays God the ultimate compliment: He provides a vigorous, amusing dissent to the all-too-glib magical ‘thinking’ both most Americanized big time religion and most so-called New Atheists are selling. Unlike the New Atheist stars and America's blathering religious fundamentalists Stedman lays the groundwork for constructive engagement between all of us—no matter what we believe...or don't.”—Frank Schaeffer, author of Crazy For God
 

“Chris Stedman’s remarkable work has spanned from advocating for LGBTQ rights among Evangelical Christians to, in his current role at Harvard, founding the first-ever atheist-led interfaith initiative -- and he's only twenty-five. Part memoir and part blueprint, Faitheist not only recounts his personal journey (which would be a riveting story on its own), but also shows -- sensitively and humorously -- how Humanists can live out our values with both empathy and honesty. This book represents the growing secular movement at its very best.” —Greg M. Epstein, Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University, author of Good Without God: What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe

The searching, intelligent account of a gay man's experiences growing away from God and into a thoughtful and humane atheist Brave and refreshingly open-minded.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Enter Stedman, avowed atheist, former Fundamentalist Christian, and current interfaith activist whose heartfelt and thought-provoking account of his struggle with God and religion serves as a call to arms for those seeking to bridge the gap between the religious and the secular… To that end he paints an intimate and deeply affecting portrait of his own life, one characterized by the sort of staggering dissonances—gay Christian teen, religion-degree-seeking atheist—that could cripple a person. But Stedman is nothing if not determined, and his resulting journey toward personal reconciliation through service work and interfaith dialogue is inspiring. Stedman’s story is motivational, his thoughts on interreligious dialogue insightful, and in this short memoir, he proves himself an activist in the truest sense and one to watch.”
Booklist, Starred Review

"Faitheist, a new memori by local author Chris Stedman, promotes a warm, loving, and witty serving of intercultural dialogue."—Scott Kearnan, Boston Spirit 

“An enlightening and engaging memoir.”  
Minneapolis Star Tribune  

"His book about being religious and being secular, together, offers his hope for a better world"
Toledo Blade 
 

About the Author

Chris Stedman is the Assistant Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University, the emeritus managing director of State of Formation at the Journal of Inter-Religious Dialogue, and the founder of the first blog dedicated to exploring atheist-interfaith engagement, NonProphet Status. Stedman writes for the Huffington Post, the Washington Post’s On Faith blog, and Religion Dispatches. He lives in Boston.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Beacon Press (November 6, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0807014397
  • ISBN-13: 978-0807014394
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #74,317 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Chris Stedman is the Interfaith and Community Service Fellow for the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard University; the emeritus managing director of State of Formation at the Journal of Inter-Religious Dialogue; the founder of the first blog dedicated to exploring atheist-interfaith engagement, NonProphet Status; and the author of "Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious" (Beacon Press). Stedman writes for the Huffington Post, the Washington Post's On Faith blog, and Religion Dispatches. He lives in Boston.

Photographer Copyright Credit Name: Alex Dakoulas, 2012.

Customer Reviews

Against the backdrop of his memoir, Chris Stedman has produced a valuable call to action. Tucker Lieberman  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
Easy and interesting reading, nicely written and engaging. Toby Johnson  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 19 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A New Perspective for Atheism November 22, 2012
Format:Hardcover
This was a very different book from anything I have ever read about atheism. It was refreshing and wonderful. Stedman discusses his struggles with fitting in and wanting a community to belong to. He thinks he's found it at church, but is also coming to terms with the fact that he is gay, and this is not allowed. His silent struggle with this heartbreaking, but it is beautiful to watch how he comes to terms with all aspects of his life.
The important thing to note is that he does not leave the church or God because of this. He simply realizes that what he believes does not match up with the ideas of the church. He is unable to find a way to believe in God anymore. He says it's like he came home one day to find that God was no longer there; that he had packed a bag and not even left a note. He was simply not a part of his life anymore.

A lot of atheists have a bad reputation because the loudest voices are ones that people find offensive (Hitchens, Dawkins, etc). There is finally a voice telling a story of not religion bashing, but wanting to work together to find a way to better the world regardless of religious affiliation. I enjoy reading the other atheists' works, but this is necessary as well. We can't be constantly bickering or nothing will change for the better.

So
What I liked: This was the easiest biography I've ever read. I was sucked into his life story and wanted to know more about him. I loved his explanations of how he was raised without religion and still turned out to be a good moral person.
This is a call to action not to erase religion but to find common ground. There are enough calls to end religion already.
He is so young and has already figured this much out, and is working to put his words into action.
What I didn't like so much: Toward the end, it got pretty repetitive about needing to work together. Probably could have cut out 20 pages of it.
I think the "New Atheists" or "angry Atheists," however you want to look at them, were/are vital. Atheists needed someone to stand up and say, "Hey, not everyone agrees with religion." There is tolerance for any belief system except the lack of one. There are so many books written about why people should be Christian, or Jewish, or Muslim. But there needed to be some about this as well. Stedman negates everything that this men say. While we do need balance, I think they did a great service to atheists by helping them come out about their lack of belief.

This was a wonderfully written book, truly engaging, and I would recommend it to anyone. Of faith or not. It finally offers the position of someone who wants to just get along.
*This book was received as a free advanced copy from the bookstore I am employed with*
*This review can also be found on my blog, Book Addict Anonymous, link located on my profile.*
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finding Our Common Humanity November 26, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Chris Stedman's Faitheism is a wonderful story of his deeply sincere journey through sexual self-acceptance, faith, atheism, humanism, and finally the simplistic and easy caricatures of 'the other' that destroy our humanity. I found the most disturbing part of the book to be when PZ Myers `was asked when these in-group versus out-group walls would come down, he replied: "The walls will come down when religion is eradicated."' (p. 151 Kindle edition) It is precisely this form of bigotry that keeps the cycle of `us vs. them' going, the very thing so strongly condemned in religion.

After his moving story of mutual growth and understanding through shared interfaith experience and dialogue (Chris lives the truth that atheism and humanism can fall under the interfaith umbrella without losing their distinct identities, or being misunderstood to be faiths), his encounter with the new atheism was shocking:

`But I was also quickly taken aback by the amount of antireligious rhetoric I heard-- and the degree of negativity directed at me for questioning it. For the most part, the antireligious claims I encountered weren't considered critiques of theology, which I've often relished in both academic and interpersonal contexts; they were based in a willful ignorance of what it actually means to be religious and of the way religious lives are lived, and turned religious people into a cheaply mocked caricature. My first atheist conference, an American Atheists gathering in New Jersey, was packed full of blasphemy sessions and speeches comparing religion to sexually transmitted diseases. It was, for me, a nightmare. Witnessing the sheer vitriol some expressed toward the religious, I actually cried-- hot, angry tears. I called friends of mine back home-- atheists, no less-- and recalled what I'd seen. They were shocked and appalled. One friend said to me: "You see, this is why I don't want to call myself an atheist." I returned to my work in an interfaith context and was relieved to be surrounded by people dedicated to advancing human rights and understanding, not dehumanizing those with different metaphysical beliefs.' (p.145 Kindle edition)

Chris recognizes clearly that: `A world absent of religion would not necessarily be a more cooperative or peaceful one; a world absent of fanaticism, totalitarianism, and tribalism would certainly be.' (p. 154 Kindle edition)

It is easy to forget that self-justifying and intolerant bigotry is the problem, not the solution, no matter how high the ideological rhetoric, or attractive the scapegoat. His goals are spot on: `I work to promote critical thinking, education, religious liberty, compassion, and pluralism, and to fight tribalism, xenophobia, and fanaticism. Many religious people are allies to me and other atheists in these efforts-- and a good number of them cite their religious convictions as the motivating factor behind their work. I am far more concerned about whether people are pluralistic in their worldview--` (p. 153 Kindle edition)

In the final chapter Chris gives four arguments for atheist engagement with religion: `we're outnumbered; we want to end religious extremism and other forms of oppression and suffering; we have a lot to learn; and we have a bad reputation and are discriminated against.' (p. 165 Kindle edition) I think all but the third (mutual enrichment) don't directly challenge new atheist assumptions and so may be viewed as unpersuasive. However misguided, new atheists view their stance as the principled position that religion is evil, and all we hold dear is tottering on the brink of annihilation because of it. So appeasing a deluded majority, or working with the enemy for pragmatic gains, or compromising on truth to not offend are not viewed as an option. Here Chris' wealth of personal experience, genuine humanism, and honest engagement with the issues are a model for the way forward.

I highly recommend reading Chris' personal journey. We have a chance to get this right. Chris is showing us the way.

Chris has a Master's in Pastoral Care and Counseling and a Bachelor of Arts in Religion and is currently Assistant Humanist Chaplain at Harvard.

Paul Thibodeau
Author of The Call: Moving from Science vs Religion to a Better World
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
So, yes, there are times when it's obvious this is a memoir written by a twenty-five-year-old. There are passages that either read like a term paper or a diary entry. But the premis could not be more exciting to me so I overlooked it. (I felt exactly the same way about Zach Wahls' book My Two Moms.)

Chris Stedman is a gay atheist who, unlike many atheists, is not anti-religion. In fact he spent many years as a fundamentalist Christian even though it often filled him with loneliness and self-loathing because of his sexuality. He studied religion in university (as did I) even as he was coming to terms with his own atheism (just like me!). He even went on to study theology at the graduate level which would essentially make him a minister if he were Christian (okay, I never did that, but I did consider studying to be a high school religious education teacher in Quebec even though I'm an atheist).

So there's a lot I can relate to personally in this book. I came to atheism from a place of religious searching and although I am critical of many aspects of religion, I still sometimes long for the community, charity and sense of sacred time that religion provides. So maybe I'm a faitheist too.

One thing I'm not sure Stedman quite got right is his portrait of atheists whom he believes are "anti-religion." He cites many examples of those atheists whose goal is to dismantle religion completely, eradicate it from society completely. Yes, I understand that this viewpoint exists, but I would argue that there are a large number of atheists who are more concerned with churches getting things like tax exemptions and government funding and then being allowed to create policies that are exclusionary and discriminatory. I think there are atheists who don't care if religion EXISTS or not, but are critical of the special status that it holds. For instance, one's "freedom of religion" is protected in all manner of laws and statutes, but most of those do not include "freedom of personal philosophy," which can impact things like being a conscientious objector during a war, etc. These are the sorts of specific issues that many atheist activists are concerned about, but Stedman paints them all with the "anti-religion" brush, which is a disservice.

Nonetheless, I am grateful to this book for being an important part of the atheist discussion, a voice for those for whom "atheist" means something other than "person who condescendingly puts down other people's religions."

I'd be curious to read the memoir he writes at fifty!

Disclaimer: I received a digital galley of this book free from the publisher through Edelweiss. I was asked to write an honest review, though not necessarily a favourable one. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars First book I've read all the way through in months
The book caught my eye in the library. My daughter laments on how many of her high school friends are atheist or agnostics, even while living smack in the middle of the Bible belt. Read more
Published 1 day ago by IcyH
4.0 out of 5 stars A very good first book about a turbulant subject
The first half is the authors coming out story--an interesting journey that shows Stedman getting swept up into religion as a way to answer issues about his sexuality only to find... Read more
Published 1 month ago by M. Jackson
1.0 out of 5 stars Narcissism is next to Godliness
Stedman's book is an unintentionally hilarious read, because he honestly thinks he's the only nonbeliever who has ever had the courage and integrity to "find common ground" with... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Del Darmstadt
5.0 out of 5 stars Only in the first few chapters and I'm hooked
This is one person's story of how they came to be who they are and how they developed their current beliefs. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Dan Cleberg
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book.
Fatheist is a very interesting read. Stedman makes a strong case for atheists becoming involved in interfaith projects that address common goals. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Kenneth Christiansen
5.0 out of 5 stars An interesting book about an interesting author's life
I recommend this book for anyone interested in interreligious dialogue. This author uses the religious language of respect for others, human dignity, compassion, and humanity that... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Brian Shapiro
5.0 out of 5 stars A Dubious Disciple Book Review
Oh, man, do I relate. Here is an atheist that feels more at home in religious surroundings than with a secular community. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Dubious Disciple
3.0 out of 5 stars Decent Book, but it tangents
I really enjoyed the insights the book offered. It made me reflect on my own atheism. The overall message of the book was poignant and important, but he has a tendency to go off on... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Scottdpelton
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for those of faith and atheist alike!
Chris Stedman did an outstanding job of making you feel parts of his life. It was easy to imagine his thoughts and feelings as he opens them up for you in this page turner. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Caleb Oshier
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for anyone in Higher Education
This book is essential to anyone in Higher Education today who wants to contribute something relevant to the growing and much-needed interfaith movement on college and university... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Rev.
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