Customer Reviews

The Fallen Ones [Blu-ray]

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

For a channel that continually gives us such tripe as "Mosquito" and "Bugs", "The Fallen Ones" is far from the worst that the SciFi channel has to offer. But as with most of their offerings, "The Fallen Ones" is devoid of a comprehensible script, Robert Wagner is horrible, and every few minutes you end up asking yourself, "What's going on here? I'm confused."
But that's Ok, because the film is marginally saved by Tom Bosley, I gotta tell ya, you can put Mr Cunningham in any kind of movie, doing any kind of role and I'm going to be entertained.
And you have to mention Caspar Van Diehm...we are living in blessed times to have this generation's John Agar meandering his way through B-movie after B-movie, he is so bad in an "Ed Wood" kind of way, that he almost makes you believe he's a credible actor.
I liked the super-sized mummy, that was good imagination, unfortunately, most of the rest of the movie was lacking.

The opening of The Fallen Ones is an enormous, neon-lit exclamation to the world - this film is going to be dreadful and ludicrous, but by golly, we are going to do it anyway! I was simply shocked at how nonsensical and downright insulting-to-one's-intelligence a modern made-for-TV movie could be.

The Fallen Ones resembles one of those after-the-rapture/left-behind Christian films, right down to the helpful old rabbi to read us indecipherable scripture and tell us all the details left out of the bible. Perhaps the idea is that a cherubic, Yiddish-inflected, lilting old man softens the blow of seemingly interminable exposition - it doesn't. Tom Bosley will never be anything but Howard Cunningham to those currently under 65, and possibly Father Dowling to those above 65.

I love how Casper Van Dien's character throws out acromegaly as a possible excuse for the presence of a 40'-tall giant mummy in the desert of the American Southwest, while a 7'-tall actor who has the disease is actually in the first few minutes of the film (Carel Struyken, aka. 90's Lurch). And while we're on the subject, everyone is just too comfortable with this bizarre finding. It doesn't seem to shock or awe anyone as they gather around the giant corpse and banter about "whos-dig this is" or horseback riding or dam construction delays.

We could dismiss the film as silly, childish prattle made for young kids who may be scared of giants or mummies, but the seedy background story of horny angels impregnating human women and producing giant, demonic offspring is probably not suitable for younger viewers. You've been warned.

I loved the movie and highly recomend it to anyone who is a fan of both Tom Bosley and Robert Wagner. They are very good in this movie and just havi9ng them in it makes it all the better to watch it.
The movie was a little bit on the scary side for the little ones though, So you will have to consider this before showing it to them at all.

But all in all it was a VERY GOOD movie!

I have to admit that when I sat down to watch this, I thought it was going to be the typical SCI-FI movie with a monster tearing somebody in half every five minutes. It was surprisingly good. Probably the best thing I've seen Casper Van Dien do since Starship Troopers and it's pretty funny. I would have liked to see more mummys (mummies?), but the scenes with them are pretty cool. The extras on the DVD are pretty interesting. The thing I kept coming back to was that this felt like a bigger film. I wonder if it was supposed to be in theaters.

All in all, a pretty decent creature feature.

This made for Sci-Fi Channel movie harkens back somewhat to the days of the fifties cliffhanger serials. Unfortunately, it seems to take itself seriously and with a cast of bad actors and mediocre production values, it falls flat. While the premise of having giant mummies and fallen angels is initially intriguing, the poorly written script doesn't give us much different at all. Casper van Dien is stoically handsome and Kristen Miller coyingly cute, but vets Tom Bosley and Robert Wagner are pretty bad in their supporting roles. All in all, a mediocre, occasionally enjoyable romp.

In the first few minutes of The Fallen Ones, some bearded guy (Ammon played by Navid Negahban) kills Lurch with finger-snakes. Or snake-fingers. It's hard to tell, I wasn't really paying attention. Then there's the poor special effects of a huge angry guy ranting at little snake finger guy while...

You know what? Let's just make this easy. If you have no tolerance for B-movies you can skip this movie and the review. Otherwise I've got two words for you: GIANT MUMMY.

Now for some people, those two words are the dumbest combination of words since "Ancient Egypt". But for those of us who are fans of mummies, making them giant-sized is a sweet sprinkling of mummy dust on our mummy cake.

There's not much more to say. Some archeologists (Matt Fletcher, played by Capser Van Diem of Starship Troopers fame) unearth the corpse of giant-sized Aramis (Robert Allen Mukes), taking the words from the Bible about "giants in the Earth" a little too seriously. While arguing over the importance and ownership of such a find, the hottie engineer Angela (Kristen Miller) spars with Fletcher about the GIANT MUMMY. Puzzled over the ancient writing on the GIANT MUMMY'S tomb, Fletcher enlists the aid of Tom Bosley (sporting a Jewish accent as Rabbi Eli Schmitt). Ammon's still around too, and since he's immortal he might as well be the chief of security for this incredible find.

Did I mention the GIANT MUMMY?

It wakes up, as all GIANT MUMMIES must. But before the GIANT MUMMY'S eyes flick open, we are treated to a GIANT MECHA MUMMY that is cultist-powered. That's right, this "effigy" stomps around while cultists in its arms, legs, and head chant to Ammon. Does life get any better than this?

Yes it does. Because not only does the GIANT MUMMY take on a helicopter, there are human-sized mummies inside of it. It's like six mummies for the price of one!

Somewhere in the middle of all this mummy goodness is a plot by Ammon to mate with Angela. Judging from the number of cheesecake shots where the camera slowly pans up, down, and sideways across Angela's prone body, the director wants to mate with her too.

If this film has a flaw, it's that the movie is actually more about Ammon than Aramis, more about devils than GIANT MUMMIES. Also, you can blow up a GIANT MUMMY by throwing a stick of dynamite 40 feet into its mouth. Okay that's two flaws. But at the end of the film there's a promise of even more GIANT MUMMIES.

And that's a pretty big deal.

Well,maybe I'm just a softy for bad movies...or Kristen Miller movies,but,I liked The Fallen Ones.The story is very good(to say nothing of original,which is something that's lacking in hollywood now'a days!).I was pleasantly surprised to see that the characters were not some christian nuts going on some kind'a witch hunt!They actually made them out to be everyday kind'a people(refreshing!).By the way,even thought the movie points out the team had found a forty-two foot mummy,in reality,archaeologist have only found a skeleton of some thirty-five feet tall(so far).I have been wondering about the giants from the Bible.The nephilim or the fallen ones,were the off spring of fallen angels and earthly women,(or daughters of man as it is stated in the Bible).These renown men of old are the same spoken of in Greek,Norse,Native American and pre-Columbian South American mythology.Yes,the acting is less the oscar material,but I KNEW what to except Before I sat down to watch this movie!It kills me to read the same reviews from people who continue to watch these movies from the sci-fi channel when they have seen the other three hundred BEFORE!Can we just give these guys credit for trying and move on with it!Kevin Van Hook did a pretty good job with the schedule and budget that he had.YES,I liked the movie and storyline so much that I bought the dvd!Robert Wagoner,Kristen (kitten)Miller,Casper Van Dien and of course Tom Bosley did a good job with the storyline and acting.One of the best parts of the movie is the nephilim chasing the jeep with our heroes trying to save the girl,CLASSIC!The special effects were really good considering the time table and budget. The company that put the dvd out really did a great job in the layout and extras(making of, photos,etc.).I can't speak for anyone else,but I really hope they come out with a sequel.They could do one in South America or go to Israel and do something there Maybe even India in the Himalayian mountains.Hopefully they will have Casper and Kristen back if they decide to make another movie.

The Fallen Ones (Kevin van Hook, 2005)

You'd think that after seeing Slyaer, I'd know to steer away from any movie that has Casper van Dien's name on one end of the credits and Kevin van Hook's on the other. No such luck. I still managed to get roped into watching van Dien chew scenery and van Hook try (and, as usual, fail) to direct. Why? Because I have a small hope in my heart that anything having to do with nephilim will make the source material transcend the awfulness surrounding it.

Basic idea (I can't call it a plot): an archaeologist (van Dien) uncovers a 42-foot-tall mummy in the desert in... Nevada? New Mexico? Utah? Somewhere within helicopter distance of Vegas, anyway... who is one of the nephilim (for an idea of who the nephilim are, consult Genesis). His pappy comes calling to reanimate him and repopulate the Earth with Nephilim to... um, we never find out why. 'cause that's what he does, I guess.

The most notable thing about this movie is how many people the casting directors managed to rope into it whom you'll probably recognize. None of them are doing their careers any good by being in this movie. Geoffrey Lewis is one of B-filmdom's more stalwart actors, but even he can't save this turkey. Carel Struycken and the eye-popping Jodi Taffel get almost no screen time (almost cameo-level performances). But Tom Bosley? Robert Wagner? Did you guys really need the money that badly? Irwin Keyes is just laughable (though I'm more than willing to lay the blame for this, as for all the awful performances in this movie, on an incompetent director and a terrible script). You've seen these folks in a hundred movies and TV shows, and never, ever seen them like this. Van Dien can't act his way out of a wet cardboard box, and van Hook can't write or direct van Dien acting his way out of a wet cardboard box. Avoid like the plague. (zero)

I don't believe anyone purposely sets out to make crap. First of all, it costs a lot of money, takes time (almost a month of shooting in this case), and involves an army of people to come up with something like this.
I forgot which side I was arguing, because really, this is indefensible. Whatever the intentions, this is what they produced. Well, at least as far as, "the buck stops here," Kevin Vanhook is concerned. The man took great pains to make certain everyone knows he not only produced this epic, he wrote it, edited it, AND directed it. I guess that means everyone else is blameless? Or, they can fall back on the disclaimer: Kevin made me do it? Still, even so, no really, BIG mummy aside, was this something that anyone involved in wanted to brag about?
Now comes the hard part, I bought the darn thing....does that make me culpable? Doesn't something like that encourage them to make more of these things? I don't know, I'm asking!
In my own defense, yes, I did watch it on the Sci-Fi Channel (back when it was still called Sci-Fi Channel....before they got uppity and renamed it Sly-Fly or Sigh-Buy, something). And brain cells being what they are, unreliable and deceptive things, I forgot whether I liked it or not, and since I collect Sci-Fi movies for frequent viewings....I went ahead and bought it anyway.
Drat. I forgot my point, again.
On the plus side, it isn't that long and it's in widescreen (I'd like to think that helps make bad movies watchable). The special effects are passable. The acting, well, loved Geoffrey Lewis but then he mysteriously disappeared during the course of the movie (or as I'd like to think, he got out while the getting was good). Tom Bosley always makes me smile. Robert Wagner (notice his name wasn't above the title). Navid Negahban wasn't villainous enough. Kristen Miller was bland as the requisite babe (actually, there wasn't much conflict in that area as she was the only woman in sight). And last, but by no means least, Casper Van Dien as the guy with the faulty past (I lost track of the number of times they kept referring to THAT incident in Mexico). I've noticed that if Casper stars in a movie it's guaranteed to be a hit or a miss. The misses I take for granted, the hits are usually in spite of the fact that he's in a movie. Otherwise: just a lot of running around, reciting mumbo jumbo of an archaeological nature, the bad angel, the aforementioned very BIG mummy, a few pint size mummies, people are eaten, the dam bursts, a chopper goes down: standard mayhem. Eh, it was watchable.

I just kept thinking, that's a mighty BIG buckle for a mighty BIG mummy to wear....and why? It's not as if he had any pants to keep up.

This is one of those movies that has dopey elements (particularly the first 10 minutes), but the mid section is actually kind of fun. It's only when the giant man/mummy appears on screen that you groan and wish the creators had found a way to avoid the cheesy special effects. If you're in a silly mood and like horror-mysteries set in ancient tombs, check it out. But don't say i didn't warn you about the really silly looking giant.