Customer Reviews

Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter

5 star:		(198)
4 star:		(84)
3 star:		(47)
2 star:		(24)
1 star:		(23)

 

 

In 1937, Adeline Yen Mah's mother died giving birth to her. Because of this, she was considered "bad luck", tormented by her siblings and shunned by her father. Her father soon remarried a beautiful, young Eurasian woman who was cruel and manipulative. She treated all five of her stepchildren badly, but saved her real hatred for Adeline. Falling Leaves is the powerful, riveting memoir of emotional abuse and isolation that Ms Yen Mah suffered at the hands of her stepmother. At this point, most would say, "Why would I want to torture myself by reading a book about child abuse?" The answer is simple...Adeline Yen Mah didn't just survive her childhood, she triumphed. With great wisdom and insight, she tells a story not just about her life, but the life of China, before and after the cultural revolution and how both were changed forever. Despite her miserable childhood, she excelled, became a doctor, married and found freedom and a new life in America. This is an amazing, compelling story, told by an amazing woman who was not only able to put the past behind her, but was able to celebrate life and move forward.

Adeline Yen Mah, in "Falling Leaves," accomplishes many things. She has written a searingly honest memoir of her miserable childhood in China. In addition, she provides a colorful and lively description of the customs, history and social upheaval of China from roughly the late 1800's until the 1970's. Adeline was the daughter of a prosperous businessman, Joseph Yen, who was happily married to a woman he adored. He had five children, the youngest of whom, Adeline, is the author of this book. Tragically, Adeline's mother died of an infection shortly after she was born, and Adeline never knew her mother. To compound the tragedy, Adeline's father soon married a woman so cruel and so inhuman that she was comparable to the stereotype of the "wicked stepmother" in the story of Cinderella. "Niang," as Jeanne Prosperi Yen was called by her stepchildren, was a "control freak". She manipulated her husband and children; she verbally and physically abused the children who were "out of favor" with her; and she used money to control the family dynamics even after her death. Adeline's story is how she managed to grow up whole in spite of a loveless childhood. She turned for solace most of all to her beloved "Aunt Baba," who loved Adeline unconditionally and was truly proud of her, and Adeline took great delight in doing schoolwork, which brought her great intellectual and emotional satisfaction. Mah brings alive a large cast of characters, stoically recounting many tales of deep sorrow that must have wounded her greatly. She makes the streets of China come alive with her vivid descriptions of the sights and sounds of such cities as Shanghai, Tianjin and Hong Kong. "Falling Leaves" is an intensely psychological and personal memoir. It must have been difficult for Adeline Yen Mah to bare her soul as she did. The result is an unforgettable story of a terribly dysfunctional family and the courageous young woman who had to come to terms with her often tragic life.

This was one of the most touching stories I have ever read; it is beautifuly written and heartrenching, yet warms the spirit to hear of such a strong soul! I cried at the injustices Adeline suffered at the hands of her father and especially her step-mother. I was also moved to tears by the injustice endured by her family at the hands of the angry mobs in revolutionary China. I was overjoyed and excited for her in her triumphs. I came to feel love and care for this amazing young woman from China, a place so foriegn to me. I came to better understand what compels others to do things not in their own best intrests in order to gain the acceptance and affection of a loved one. I believe we should thank Ms. Adeline Yen Mah for her courage and strengh and her gift to us, that of sharing her amazing spirit with her readers. I encountered great difficulty putting this book down, and when not reading I found myself thinking of the story! A wonderful literary expierience for anyone!

To kill time while i was having IV injections in a hospital bed, i picked up the book. To my surprise, i was compelled to reading it through for the next one day and one night, promting plenty of complains from my doctor and nurses. However, i simply could not put down the book. The story, or Adeline's life experience was so disturbingly painful, but her description was so powerful. As a Chinese born also in Shanghai, i comprehend and appreciate fully the circumstances and historical evens surrounding the family, the city (Shanghai, Tianjin and Hong Kong) as well the country. Her life-time search for family acceptance and love in a loveless family was so painstakingly persistent that i found myself more than once crying. Human nature was distorted by greed, jealousy and ego-mania. In her case, human nature was further distorted by complications of a political movement in China. China's Culture Revolution, in particular, has twisted many people's consciousness, sharpening their knives against their own family members, friends and many other innocent people. In this case, i found Lydia is equally ugly as Niang. Even though Adeline's growing life was tough beyond imagination, Adeline didn't seem to stop smiling, caring for others, looking for the bright future and having wonderful sense of humor, for that, i admire her courage. The book is also beautifully versed with excellent insertions of Chinese proverbs, further evidence of her ability of winning a world writing award even as a young girl. If any improvement, i just wish the ending is not so abrupt. Life has not done her justice yet. I hope she will have a sequal. I also sincerely hope the Yen family ugliness will not pass on to the third generation as already shown in Lydia's family.

Adeline Yen Mah was born in a well-placed, moneyed Chinese family prominent in the elite of Shanghai and later on in booming Hong Kong. Her mother died shortly after her birth, and she was always blamed for her death. Her father then married Niang, a beautiful Eurasian who is evil (particularly to Adeline), but nonetheless a formidable force in the Yen household.

Under Niang's harsh regime, her step-children become "second-class" citizens in the house, living in separate quaters. Adeline, encouraged by Aunt Baba, focuses especially on her studies, and eventually attends medical school abroad. Her "A-studded" report cards become symbols of a better future. Aunt Baba suffers a great deal during the Cultural Revolution, and this is worsened by Niang's cruelty. Her endurance till death mirrors that of Adeline, and their union in the end illustrates this.

A word often used in this book towards the end is "rapprochement", usually appearing italicized. This suggests sentiments of constantly wanting to be accepted by her family. This never happens, in spite of all her success and efforts of uniting a broken family. Her siblings plot against her, and she inherits nothing from her father's vast empire. This is indeed a testament of the human ability to endure in dire conditions.

After sitting on my bookshelf for many years, I finally had the time to engross myself with this book and I am very grateful that I did and regretful that I didn't read it sooner. I've spent many nights staying-up late and emersing myself with this heartwrenching and compelling book. I could not
force myself to put it down. It has brought back similar memories of my own accounts of emotional and physical abuse, (similar as such that I, too, had a strict Asian upbringing.) The exception was that, like the character Susan, I chose to "castrate" myself from my abusive relatives. I wish Adeline Yen-Mah did the same thing.

Many times throughout the book, I oftened wondered why she did not have the courage to stand her ground and fight back. It disturbed me that she ALWAYS required her father's "acceptance" and that she yearned for her step-mother's love. I wish she found the strength to love herself, eliminate her meekness and finally accept the fact that her parents were pathologically evil and unsuitable for her well-being. In a sense, she allowed her step-mother, Niang, to "win" by continually being involved and remaining a "victim". Yet, she felt the need to address those unsettling "childhood-wounds" that still haunt her by writing this memoir. I truly commend her for doing this. However, I can't help to think that she still needs help for her childhood trauma (i.e. therapy.)

For someone who is naive and ignorant of Chinese history, I was pleased with many of the historical and cultural details of China pre and post WWII. Dr. Yen-Mah's writing is exceptional and well-written, despite what a few critics, in these reviews, think. This is a book, NOT ONLY for women, but for men as well.

Disturbing and unsettling, this is a book for those with understanding for the victims traumatized by emotional and physical abuse. Not recommended for those devoid of compassion!

Despite what some have said about this book in the review section, this is an excellent book. I was almost brought to tears when Adeline recounted her troubled childhood. Ultamately, this book is about a child's struggle for the one thing money cannot buy. Love.

Several people who reviewed this didn't like the book because she was rich and had all her basic needs provided for growing up. True she was lucky enough not to have been one of those babies wrapped in a newspaper and left for dead, or one of the children caught and sold into prostitution like so many other unlucky Chinese girls. The point is that all she wanted was love and acceptance from her family, even her stepmother who treated her like dirt, and she became a success in spite of that. Even after becomming a success she still wanted to feel loved and accepted by her parents and did all she could to try and achieve it. The fact that her parents where rich and she turned out to be well off herself has nothing to do with the story when you break it down to its simplest componants. She was the youngest daughter in a Chinese family in the early 1900 peroid of China where men were westerners and Chinese men were considered far superior to Chinese women. That was one strike against her. Her mother died from giving birth to her causing her to be looked down upon even more. Second strike. Her father remaried a woman who wanted nothing to do with her newly inherited step children. In spite of this and all her hardships and troubles she encountered, she made it, that's all that matters, and that story, which is beautifly written and will touch your heart, is what makes this a good book.

Reading Falling Leaves really tested my nerves - I found myself feeling desperately angry at times and at other times feeling great sympathy and joy. The author has a narrative writing style that is truly excellent - she manages to win over the reader ot her side easily. I loved every page of it!

I have never been so touched by a true story in my 47 years of life. I was hurting the entire time I read it and could relate to much of it from my own experiences of growing up with a father who treated his sons far better than his daughters and still does. To say that I am impressed with Adeline's ability to write this book is an understatement. My only hope is that writing this was therapeutic for her and that she lives a long happy life with her husband Robert. I have recommended this book to anyone and everyone who reads and I don't know a single soul who didn't have trouble putting it down. 12 out of 12 women in my book club thought the book was superb - and we don't agree on much! Great for group discussions.

This powerful book is an unforgettable read. I do not agree with reviewers who describe this author as resentful--rather I find this a beautiful affirmation of choosing to let go of bitterness. The characters are vivid, the story is compelling and the prose is beautiful. There is so much history contained in this book--I found it fascinating!