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Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life [Kindle Edition]

Richard Rohr
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (547 customer reviews)

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Book Description

A fresh way of thinking about spirituality that grows throughout life

In Falling Upward, Fr. Richard Rohr seeks to help readers understand the tasks of the two halves of life and to show them that those who have fallen, failed, or "gone down" are the only ones who understand "up." Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely about getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly the opposite.? What looks like falling down can largely be experienced as "falling upward."? In fact, it is not a loss but somehow actually a gain, as we have all seen with elders who?have come to their fullness.??

  • Explains why the second half of life can and should be full of spiritual richness
  • Offers a new view of how spiritual growth happens?loss is gain
  • Richard. Rohr is a regular contributing writer for Sojourners and Tikkun magazines

This important book explores the counterintuitive message that we grow spiritually much more by doing wrong than by doing right.



Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Q&A with Author Richard Rohr
Author Richard Rohr
What do you mean by the two halves of life?
The phrase “two halves of life” was first popularized by Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist. He says that there are two major tasks. In the first half [of life] you've got to find your identity, your significance; you create your ego boundaries, your ego structure, what I call “the creating of the container.” But that's just to get you started. In the second half of life, once you've created your ego structure, you finally have the courage to ask: What is this all for? What am I supposed to do with this? Is it just to protect it, to promote it, to defend it, or is there some deeper purpose? The search for meaning is the task of the second half of life. (This is not always a chronological matter – I've met 11 year-old children in cancer wards who are in the second half of life, and I have met 68 year-old men like me who are still in the first half of life.)

Why is the “further journey” of the second half of life especially important for people of faith who are seeking a deeper relationship with God?
I think the further journey has to be clarified especially for religious people because for the most part we've pushed off the journey into the next world. We’ve made the teaching of Jesus largely into an evacuation plan for the next world so we don’t have to take this world seriously, this life, this earth, what's happening right here or now. The further journey has to happen in this world. I wrote the book because I want to say the further journey happens in this world and then you're ready for heaven. You're living in heaven now, you're practicing for heaven and so heaven is not even a big change of venue. It's a continuation of what you've already begun to experience.

What do you mean when you say, “we grow by falling down”?
You know, when I chose the title of Falling Upward I thought that surely there would be six other books with that title. Believe it or not, there weren't. I thought it was a perfect title because it conveys a sense of paradox. The first part of the title (about falling) isn't about what you expect. In fact, most of our concern in the first half of life is about rising, achieving, accomplishing, performing. I tried deliberately to use a somewhat shocking or controversial phrase, implying that there is a necessary falling that comes into every life. It's not like you have to manufacture or create the falling; it will happen. If you can find grace or freedom in and through that falling, you find that it moves you forward, upward, broader, deeper, better—to growth. That’s just the opposite of what you first think when you fall, fail, or lose.

What is so important about the idea of necessary suffering? Why is it necessary?
The question of why is suffering necessary is probably the greatest and most problematic question in Christian theology. Why is there suffering? How is God good if there's so much suffering on this Earth? There’s no answer that appeals to the rational mind. The answer lies elsewhere; I'm going to therefore start with the psychology. Carl Jung and many others said that suffering is the only thing strong enough to defeat the imperial ego. In other words, when you're in control, in charge, looking good, building your tower of success -- which is what you expect a young person to be doing into their 30s -- you get so addicted to it that you think it's the only game in town. When that game falls apart, it’s because it's largely a self-constructed game, a game at which you can look good, you can succeed, you're building your own kingdom, which is not, in Christian language, what Jesus calls the Kingdom of God, so your little kingdom usually has to fail you. It has to fall apart. It has to, or you'll remain narcissistic, egocentric well into your later years, asking questions like what makes me feel good? What makes me look good? What makes me make money? Many people do. It might feel like success, but no spiritual teacher would agree. First half of life preoccupations won't get you into the great picture, the big picture, which Jesus would call the Reign of God. So, necessary suffering is whatever it takes to make your small self fall apart, so you can experience your big self--maybe what Buddhists would say is your Buddha self. We would say your Christ self, your God self. It doesn't really matter. You can tell people who have passed over from the first to the second half of life, usually you can tell it within the first ten minutes, whether someone is still building their tower of success. And that isn't even wrong; it's just they have something else to experience, and you pray for them and you hope that they will be able to see suffering as a doorway and not an obstacle when it happens.

What do you think prevents many of us from growing in the second half of life?
If you eliminate necessary suffering in the first half of life and you don't know anything about the second half of life, you won’t know what to do. As a Christian, I would say that's why we largely don't understand Jesus. He's talking from the ultimate perspective of maturity and we're all back here just trying to look good. It doesn't work.

Right now there's a lot going on in the world. We have a financial crisis in the U.S. We had a natural disaster in Japan, political upheaval in the Middle East. How would you address suffering in regard to those situations?
I can talk about necessary suffering somewhat glibly and theologically, but if I were in Japan right now, I might not be talking about it so easily. Or if I was a rebel in Libya, perhaps I would not be talking about it so glibly. We have to try to talk about it, to give some kind of frame, to give some kind of direction or meaning, but it never satisfies the rational mind. As a Christian, we're the only religion that has a very strange God image: a naked, bleeding, dying man. A naked, bleeding man is not a natural, even rational or even attractive, image of God. It's not an image anybody would have expected, really. It's about as counterintuitive as you can get. And, so, as a Christian, I've got to say: if I am to believe that Jesus is the image of God, then what is Jesus saying about the nature of God? He's saying, “I am in this crucified situation with you.” For those who are suffering, those who can gaze upon the crucified one, it is an unbelievable consolation to the soul. It gives deep meaning to human suffering. At the heart of Christianity is what I call the myth of redemptive suffering. Actually, even though Jesus gave us the myth of redemptive suffering, if I look at most of our history, the myth we've really lived out of is the myth of redemptive violence, that somehow by killing bad people, we were going to redeem the world and make the world safe for democracy or safe for Christianity. Jesus gives no such message. He doesn't inflict suffering on other people. He, as the image of God, participates in the pain of the world, and that's an answer to the soul. I admit, it is not a satisfying answer to the brain. When you're seeing your loved ones suffering, you better be looking at the crucified every hour, and trying to find some meaning for the soul, because the rational mind will rebel (and it probably should).

What are the qualities of people who have successfully taken the further journey into the second half of their life?
You can recognize a second half of life person is by a kind of inner outpouring, a kind of inner generativity. They're not guarded. They're not overly self-protected. They're looking for ways to give themselves away, because they're now living out of their abundance, and they find that it's an overflowing wealth. I think of a wonderful woman like Maya Angelou. When she talks, you yourself feel grounded because she is. You want to be compassionate because you can feel the compassion in her very voice. You want to have soft eyes, because you see her soft eyes. It almost comes through non verbally, but you especially see her concern about others. So, second half of life people are generative people. They're people who've learned to pay back. They know they've been given to abundantly so now they say, "Okay, I've got enough. In fact, I've been given more than enough, and the only thing that makes sense is to give away this generous grace that has been handed to me when so many people in this world have never experienced it." So in the second half of life, I think you have an increased empathy and sympathy; you know inside how much it hurts to hurt, and so when you see another person hurting, you can feel it and you know, many times, that you can't change it. Most of the time you can't change it, so you want to pray for them. You want to help them if you can. You want to send good energy toward them. You want to give them wisdom that will lead them out of their suffering according to your gift, and we're each gifted in different ways. What you'll never not find in a second half of life person is this universal caring.

I want to emphasize, finally, the word universal. In the first half of life, as Jesus put it, you can only care for your neighbor, those who are your own religion, your own class, your own social group, your own skin color. That means very little by the second half of life. You've learned to see the soul, and once you see the soul, you see it's evenly distributed, and you don't look at externals. They don't mean that much. You know that the wino on the street has just as much a soul as the rich man who's working at the bank. You stop being what we used to call a “respecter of persons.” Of course, that upsets first half of life people, because they think you're not patriotic. Now you see that Mexicans are just like Americans, that Americans aren't any better than Mexicans. Or, as a Catholic, you can’t say anymore that only Catholics are going to heaven. Lots of people who are still in the first half of life will say you're a heretic or disloyal or rebellious or unfaithful, but you are thick skinned enough that those criticisms don't deter you from what you know you have to do, what you know you have to be. You like to make people happy, but you don't need to please them to be happy yourself. A second half of life person knows that happiness comes from within, not from whether other people like you.

How can people start to look at that second half of their lives?
You can plan for it. As I say at the beginning of the book, you fall into it just like you fall into love. You normally have to fail through some form of transgression or humiliation or defeat (the necessary suffering). Then you can look to some elders, some wiser people in your circle of friends or to a book if you don’t have friends who know how to guide you across the transition and into the second half of life. We're a culture with many elderly people but not a lot of elders.

How do you hope your book will make a difference in people’s lives?
Well, I guess first of all I hope it’s going to give them courage and some kind of safety in that courage. Most of us have been taught to be afraid of ourselves, afraid of our journey, afraid of our mistakes, our sins. Sin was something you just didn’t do. But I don’t think that’s what the Bible is saying at all. The Bible takes sin for granted. It’s given, even in the Genesis story, where God tells Adam and Eve not to eat the apple. That creates the whole story line. God absolutely knows they’re going to eat the apple. That’s what creates the creative tension and it’s in the eating of the apple and the struggling with the relationship that they come to relationship with God. An awful lot of Christian people live in shame and guilt and enormous lack of self esteem. I knew the great spiritual teacher Henri Nouwen as a personal friend. We were walking once on the streets in Cincinnati and I said to him, “Henri, how would you define what the Church called original sin?” And he said, “Richard, I think original sin is humanity’s endless capacity for self-loathing, or maybe self-doubt.” I think that’s true, but sadly I think we in the world of religion have often contributed to that self-doubt and self-loathing. In that, we haven’t given the world good news at all, but bad news, and you know the world Gospel means good news. So I hope my book is a bit of a gospel. I hope it’s good news. I hope it’s truthful news, not false good news, but good news that really is good and new.


Review

"...provocative..." - Publishers Weekly

"...a trustworthy guide to the spiritual life." - BlogCritics.org

"Understanding the spiritual aspects of aging is as important as appreciating the systems and biological processes that age us. Richard Rohr has given us a perfect guide to what he calls the 'further journey,' a voyage into the mystery mystery and beauty of healthy spiritual maturity." - Mehmet Oz, M.D., host of the 'Dr. Oz Show'

"Falling Upward calls forth the promise within us and frees us to follow it into wider dimensions of our spiritual authenticity. This 'second half of life' need not wait till our middle years. It emerges whenever we are ready and able to expand beyond the structures and strictures of our chosen path. With Richard Rohr as a guide, this mystery can become as real and immediate as your hand on the doorknob." - Joanna Macy, author of World as Lover, World as Self

"In Falling Upward, Richard offers a simple but deeply helpful framework for seeing the whole spiritual life - one that will help both beginners on the path as they look ahead and long-term pilgrims as they look back over their journey so far." - Brian McLaren, author of A New Kind of Christianity and Naked Spirituality

"The value of this book lies in the way Richard Rohr shares his own aging process with us in ways that help us be less afraid. We begin to see that, as we grow older, we are being awakened to deep, simple, and mysterious things we simply could not see when we were younger." - Jim Finley, Merton scholar and author of The Contemplative Heart

"This is Richard Rohr at his vintage best: prophetic, pastoral, practical. A book I will gratefully share with my children and grandchildren." - Cynthia Bourgeault, Episcopal priest, retreat leader, and author

 

 


Product Details


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
341 of 351 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
This is the sort of book that you want to give to all of your family members who have reached the age of 45.

The author captures the way Western society works, with its focus on the first half of people's lives. This percipient sociological analysis is just a starting point for his exploration of the second half of life.

As an aside, our obsession on the first half of life is growing stronger -- we care about courtship, career choice, finding a mate, establishing ourselves, and this is the subject that too many 60 year old people worry at, fantasize over, concentrate on, well past the day that they should let this half of their lives go... and think about the second half.

In this second half, people know they will suffer, that they will enter the "shadowlands", that this part of life can be about suffering and diminution. This author outlines how this half of life can be about joy, about falling upward in a spiritual sense, about the second half of life being about opening yourself. A book like this can help center a reader on the need to get past embarrassment, get past a concern for the material, and begin to understand what faces you, and what you are...

There is God in this book, and the book is frank about being a guidebook, a road map, towards salvation. That is inherent in the entire theme, the idea that a second half of life, with travails, can open to something more.

So many people I know are concerned with retirement, but not what to do in retirement, about a lake home, but not a better self... There is a sense that an obsession with retirement, in this second half, will then relegate health problems, money problems, pain, the death of friends.. into painful shocks. This book tells you that these painful days can be something more, a new journey.

Well written, with a gentle, funny, and open style, this is a book that actually can change your life.
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106 of 112 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enduring Life's Challenges April 4, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Age old questions. Why do bad things happen to good people? How can I survive the death of my loved one, the sickness of my child, or my pending divorce? "Falling Upwards" helps us with these questions.

Falling Upwards challenges the reader to examine his life experience and re-evaluate his path. This is a superior book about human spiritual growth and approach to contentment. How do I grow? What is my road to serenity - to happiness? How can I best adjust to my problems? Why do I sometimes feel conflicted when I am not secure? When I lose? When I make a mistake?

Considering that the author is a Franciscan Priest, one might expect this book to be religious and focused upon the Catholic Church. It is not. Falling Upwards is a spiritual text with pearls of wisdom that transcend religion. It is spiritual in the sense that it focuses upon our individual spirit and our growth to true happiness. Falling Upwards is deeply psychological. It helps us focus upon the growth of our psyche and our search for maturity.

Rohr explains that human development can be viewed in two stages. The first phase of our life is about building our self concept, security, relationships, and place in the community. The primary focus in this stage is upon self and our survival. Some people live their entire life in this first stage.

The second phase of human growth is focused upon discovering our real self, searching for the roots of our self, and discovering our true worth. In the second half of life we learn patience, forgiveness, and concern for other people. The second half is where we become much more serene and contented.

Rohr teaches us that we must experience success in early life to build a strong self image.
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130 of 140 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I need at least seven stars. March 24, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Most of us are stuck in the first part of our spiritual life, the part that is about creating the structures and the container for who we will be when we start living for others, start pouring ourselves out like Christ did.

Rohr's imagery and references may be too universal for many readers. If you can't get past this because of your own religious fundamentalism (not necessarily a bad thing, btw), just skip it. But his insights into what makes us tick, and then what SHOULD make us tick when we finally get to the "second half of our spiritual life", are more than worth navigating his multi-religious musings. (For the record, he is a Catholic priest and a Franciscan, so though he borrows thoughts from all religious and philosophical traditions, he is firmly planted in Christianity.) His style reminds me a bit, by the way, of Dallas Willard, and I'm surprised Willard never gets mention here.

How much did I like this book, as a 47-year old who is wrestling with his own thoughts on how to engage my "second half"? I'll simply put it this way. After finishing this book, I immediately began a second read (it's not long, but is very dense) and plan to take many copious notes and process the content very very carefully.

My favorite book on spirituality for years and years has been "The Divine Conspiracy" by Dallas Willard. This book is sure to be tied with that one in my heart.
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125 of 144 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Searching for Depth of Identity, Rooted in God April 11, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Fr. Rohr is known for speaking clearly, prophetically, and with wisdom.

Falling Upward, his latest work, is an amalgam of insight drawn from the Christian tradition, the field of psychology, epic poetry, and contemporary spirituality. There is no shortage of interesting analogies, fresh connections, and surprising verities in this book, primarily on the concept of identity, and the strong need we have as human beings to construct containers within which we can seek to understand ourselves, followed by the deeper calling to transcend and surpass that container in ways that both embrace and challenge our existing identities. Rohr presents an understanding of Christian spirituality that is defined by curiosity, deep humility, and expandingly inclusivity. It is a vision I am certain many will find very compelling.

Rohr's greatest contribution in this book, in my opinion, is his incisive and insightful commentary on the ongoing journey that is both life and faith, if the two can be divorced. He rightly names the "first-half-of-life" culture that dominates the landscape in the United States, the ongoing desire many of us have to define ourselves by some type of success or acclaim, such as a career, or financial independence, or social status. He identifies how these quests often leave those who complete those journeys with a deep emptiness, and without discerning "the quest within the quest," a greater journey that leads beyond those initial identity markers to a deeper sense and experience of what it means to be human, life is left unfulfilled. Rohr argues that the spiritual life is something more, something deeper, something that God has designed as being the fulfillment of the deepest human desires.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
a bit difficult to read
Published 7 days ago by Vera Fleury
5.0 out of 5 stars Explains why it is best that bad things happen to good people
I spent many years as a Presbyterian - where every aspect of Christianity has a specific explanation backed up by Scripture. Read more
Published 11 days ago by david treppendahl
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
excellent condition
Published 13 days ago by Jacqueline P. Purcell
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
A unique way of being aware of the gifts of aging
Published 14 days ago by Splash
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
very good!
Published 15 days ago by William L Brock
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
A must read
Published 15 days ago by Kevin Janssen
5.0 out of 5 stars this book has an excellent perspective on using your first half of...
Superb! If you are even nearing middle-aged, this book has an excellent perspective on using your first half of life experiences and applying them in your second. Read more
Published 16 days ago by detroitdrummergirl
5.0 out of 5 stars Second Half of Life
wonderful for second half of life and getting in touch with the things that really matter.
Published 17 days ago by Ruth
5.0 out of 5 stars On waking up in the 2nd half of life...
Every human hitting 40-50 or over needs to read this book.
Published 17 days ago by Mary Messner
2.0 out of 5 stars " It seems that a simpler writing style would have conveyed the...
We felt this book was "overwritten." It seems that a simpler writing style would have conveyed the meaning much better, or at least more enjoyably. Read more
Published 17 days ago by Ann McGovern
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More About the Author

Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (www.cac.org) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard's teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy--practices of contemplation and lived kenosis (self-emptying), expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is author of numerous books, including Everything Belongs, Adam's Return, The Naked Now, Breathing Under Water, Falling Upward, and Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self.

CAC is home to the Rohr Institute where Fr. Richard is Academic Dean of the Living School for Action and Contemplation. Drawing upon Christianity's place within the Perennial Tradition, the mission of the Rohr Institute is to produce compassionate and powerfully learned individuals who will work for positive change in the world based on awareness of our common union with God and all beings. Learn more at www.cac.org.

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