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False Premises (Domestic Bliss Mysteries) [Mass Market Paperback]

Leslie Caine (Author)
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Domestic Bliss Mysteries June 28, 2005
Interior designer Erin Gilbert was dazzled by her beautiful, free-spending client and new friend, Laura Smith. Dazzled, that is, until she visits Laura’s magnificent house and finds that the priceless antiques she painstakingly acquired at Laura’s behest have been completely replaced with fakes! When Laura’s explanations ring as false as the erstwhile Louis XVI foyer mirror, Erin begins investigating her friend’s colorful life and times–and then gets interrupted by a murder.

As fate would have it, Erin has uncovered the same world-class scam artist who all but destroyed her handsome-but-embittered archrival, Steve Sullivan. While Sullivan aches for revenge, Erin wants answers–even while she juggles a sputtering romance, a burgeoning business, and one very boorish client. For Erin, it’s bad enough that bodies are being strewn in all the wrong places. It’s even worse that one suspect perfectly fits each crime: Sullivan himself!

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Leslie Caine was once taken hostage at gunpoint and finds that writing about crimes is infinitely more enjoyable than taking part in them. Leslie is a certified interior decorator and lives in Colorado with her husband, two teenage children, and a cocker spaniel.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One


For the second time in the past thirty minutes of our "girls' night out," the waitress arrived bearing drinks that Laura Smith and I hadn't ordered and didn't want. Within those same thirty minutes, we'd also been approached by two less-than-sober men asking if we were sisters. With Laura's drop-dead-gorgeous looks, that question was, at least, flattering to me, and, thankfully, Laura hadn't paled in horror. However, this latest drink offer was an unwanted interruption of a serious conversation.

Laura frowned slightly and asked the waitress, "Are these from the same guy as the last time?"

The baby-faced waitress, who had to be at least twenty-one in order to work in a bar in Colorado but looked all of fifteen, indicated with a jerk of her chin that the drink buyer was seated behind her at the brushed-aluminum bar. "Nope. A new one. And he has a buddy." She cocked her eyebrow and grinned. "They're both kind of cute, I gotta say."

Without so much as a curious glance in the men's direction, Laura replied, "Please tell them thanks, but no  thanks . . . and that we're lesbians."

I hid my smile. The girl gave a slight nervous laugh, as if unsure of whether or not Laura was serious, murmured, "All righty, then," and turned away.

Laura and I were no more lesbians than we were sisters--just friends grabbing a quick bite and a glass of wine before we dashed off to hear a talk on home decor. After a dry spell, I had a new man in my life, and Laura was living with Dave Holland, a bespectacled, thirty-something man with a weak chin. Judging from the fortune that Dave had amassed, he must resemble Bill Gates in more ways than just physically. I'd met Dave and Laura nearly five months ago when Laura had hired me to decorate their gorgeous home in the foothills of the Rockies.

Come to think of it, my occupational habit of scanning my surroundings might have given the impression that I was scouting for men. In actually, I'd merely been admiring the color scheme. The tomato-red wall behind the bar completed an eye-catching gradual transition from the lemon yellow of the opposite wall, through luscious hues of peach, apricot, orange, and pumpkin.

Laura leaned closer. "Getting back to our conversation, Erin, this was your adoptive mother who died, right?"

"Right. Just over two years ago from a congenital lung disease. How long ago did your mother pass away?" I asked.

"Fifteen years ago."

Because we were the same age, my mental math was automatic, and I cried, "So you were just twelve at the time. How awful!"

Laura merely nodded, so I continued, "She must have been fairly young. What happened to her? Was it a car accident?"

Laura turned away slightly and shook her head. She adjusted her Hermes silk scarf infinitesimally, drained the last of her Chablis, then answered quietly, "Murder."

I fought back a shudder. "She was murdered? My God."

Laura kept her eyes averted, but pain flickered across her face. "By my father. He killed my little brother, too. Then he took his own life."

"Good Lord. That's horrible! I'm so sorry." Reaching for the only possible positive spin, I said, "Thank God you were all right, though."

She gave me a sad smile and didn't respond. Then, in a near whisper, she said something that sounded like "I'm a slow bleeder."

"Pardon?"

She hooked a manicured finger in the knot of her gold and indigo scarf, slowly untied it, and revealed a pinkish-white line of skin that ran across the base of her neck. The puckered suture scars were also visible.

Her throat had once been slit.

A chill ran up my spine. In that instant, I vowed never again to feel sorry for myself and my lonely and, at times, difficult childhood. My heart ached at the unfathomable pain and horror that she'd somehow endured.

"Oh, my God," I murmured. "Laura, I'm so sorry."

In the light of her personal history, I was all the more impressed at how warm and welcoming she'd been to me from day one, when she'd hired me as her interior designer. Since that time, Laura had become more of a personal friend than a client. She'd been remarkably knowledgeable as we'd selected the million dollars worth of antiques for her home. And yet, several weeks ago when she'd suggested that we go "bargain hunting" at a Denver flea market, she'd been every bit as comfortable and in her element while dickering over the asking price of a stained porcelain teacup as she was while selecting a handcrafted seventeenth-century armoire.

Now I understood the origin of the depth that I'd sensed in her and had found so compelling--the occasional sadness that passed over her features during quiet moments. She seemed to be unaware and unaffected by all the heads that turned her way whenever she walked by, and she noticed and found joy in the same details that I did--in the beauty of the sunlight catching an aubergine glass vase, the hue of purple-heart wood, the softness of the finest chenille, the amazing artistry and craftsmanship of Scalamandre wallpaper.

With her eyes downcast and the color rising in her cheeks, she retied her scarf.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked impulsively, all the while thinking that, if she said yes, I might have to signal the waitress and say that I'd changed my mind about accepting those drinks.

Laura sighed and fidgeted with a lock of her shoulder-length brown hair, a slight tremor in her fingers. "No, but thank you. Talking about it only brings back all those memories I try so hard to forget." She put her hand on top of mine on the table and, with forced gaiety, said, "Let's never mention it again, all right?"

"Of course."

She glanced at her watch. "Oh, shoot! We're late for your landlady's presentation!" She hopped to her feet and briefly insisted on leaving an overly generous tip, until she accepted my reminder that this evening was completely "my treat." The waitress benefited from Laura's and my exchange; I now felt compelled to give her the same oversized tip.

"Actually, there's no rush," I told Laura as we left. "I've been to a couple of these events before, and Audrey's always too busy signing autographs and chatting with her legions of fans to begin on time."

Audrey, my landlady, hosted a local television show three mornings a week entitled Domestic Bliss with Audrey Munroe. The name of her Martha Stewart-like show was more than a little ironic. Having shared Audrey's mansion on Maplewood Avenue for nearly six months now, I knew her to be indefatigable, irrepressible, and endlessly entertaining--but her domestic life was far from blissful. She allowed me to live there rent free, in exchange for the never-ending task of helping her to redecorate her home, which she did on frequent and breathtakingly rapid whims. (It took three months until she finally realized that it had been a mistake to turn the one bathtub in the house into a terrarium.) A former ballerina with the New York City Ballet, she was now in her mid-sixties, although she'd recently had a birthday and had informed me that she'd decided
to welcome her birthdays by "awarding myself negative numbers every year from here on out." I'd remarked that some thirty years from now she was going to be a very old-looking thirty-five-year-old, indeed. She merely replied, with an index finger aloft, "But a wise one!"

It was a beautiful mid-April evening, and the crisp air lifted my spirits, and I didn't mind that the gentle breeze occasionally blew my auburn hair into my eyes. The sky was a rich indigo hue. The slightly deeper violet shapes of the mountains were just barely discernible in the distance. We meandered along the brick-paved pedestrian mall, window-shopping as we made the short journey to Paprika's. My relaxed mood evaporated when I realized that we were being followed: a bearded and dreadlocked man in Birkenstocks, grungy blue jeans, and a wrinkled, once-white long-sleeved shirt and sheepskin vest had left Rusty's Bar and Grill just moments after we had. Now he lingered behind us, matching our pace stride for stride.

In mock secret agent tones, I said to Laura, "Psst. Don't look now, but someone's close on our tail."
She immediately looked back. The man turned away as if waiting for someone to catch up to him.
"I wonder if that's our would-be drink purchaser, who now thinks we're lovers."

She laughed. "Oh, God. I hope not. I might have to ask you to kiss me." She again glanced back as we continued on our way. "Although by the looks of him, he'd probably be turned on."

"Oh, he looks harmless enough to me . . . though he's sure not your typical Rusty's patron." Rusty's had become the latest hot spot in Crestview; our midsize college town seemed especially prone to trendy hot spots.

"True. And he really doesn't look like the crystal-stemware, copper-pot type, so I'm sure we'll lose him when we get to Paprika's." She added as if in afterthought, "Not that I could blame him for not wanting to go inside. The personnel there isn't up to snuff."

"What makes you say that? I love the staff at Paprika's."

She gave me a warm smile as she opened the door for me. "That's only because you love everyone, Erin."

The man followed us inside the upscale kitchen store. Annoyed and slightly disconcerted, I whispered to Laura, "I'm going to confront him and ask why he's following us."

She touched my arm. "Let's just ignore him, okay?"

In the center of the first floor of the store, merchandise displays had been removed or shoved aside, and in their place, folding chairs had been set...

Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 325 pages
  • Publisher: Dell (June 28, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0440241766
  • ISBN-13: 978-0440241768
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #545,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Series, December 4, 2005
This review is from: False Premises (Domestic Bliss Mysteries) (Mass Market Paperback)
The second installment of this series is better than the first, with the main characters being fleshed out much more, and a good, solid mystery.

The dialogue between characters is a bit childish and amateur (particularly when one character has a long passage of dialogue), but it's not anything that really takes away from the story. Don't miss this one!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars exciting amateur sleuth, June 28, 2005
This review is from: False Premises (Domestic Bliss Mysteries) (Mass Market Paperback)
Interior designer Erin Gilbert helps her clients Laura Smith and David Holland redecorate their mini-mansion with beautiful and costly antiques, and becomes friends with the woman. After an alteration with a man wearing a wig and carrying a gun, Laura flips him using a judo technique. When Erin goes to her home to check on her, she discovers that the valuable antiquities were replaced with cheap reproductions.

Laura tells the interior decoration that the antiquities are in storage where they will be safe and appreciate in value over the years. When Erin informs David, he insists he knows nothing about the switch because he was out of town but he can't see properly because he lost his glasses. Erin learns that Laura is the person who scammed interior decorator Steve Sullivan out of $300,000 dollars. Steve and Erin watch Laura's house. When Dave drives out they follow him to a storage facility where they find Laura's murdered body. Erin starts her own investigation discovering that everyone who knew Laura had a reason to kill her.

It is hard to believe that every person she was involved in ended up helping her and then wanting to see her dead but Laura was one such person, the perfect villainess and victim. There are so many people she hurt who had a motive to kill her that readers will find themselves trying to figure out who the killer really is. The heroine pursues her investigation even though there have been attempts made on her life but she is determined to identify the perpetrator so she can regain her own piece of mind. This exciting amateur sleuth tale is the perfect beach book.

Harriet Klausner
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3.0 out of 5 stars Not quite domestic bliss, February 19, 2011
This review is from: False Premises (Domestic Bliss Mysteries) (Mass Market Paperback)
This is the first book I've read by Leslie Caine so I can't compare the writing in it to her other works. False Premises had a good mystery, but the writing marred the plot. The heroine, Erin Gilbert, seemed immature for being in her mid-twenties and the chapters were peppered with equally annoying, rather than interesting characters.

Erin Gilbert is an interior designer and her client Laura Smith has purchased many expensive antiques Erin had found for her. After a confrontation the two women have with a man proclaiming to be a policeman, Erin follows Laura home, concerned for her safety. Inside her house for the first time, she finds the priceless antiques she has scoured the antique world for have been replaced with cheap fakes. Erin confronts her about the situation and Laura states the antiques are in a storage facility as she is contemplating selling them. Erin doesn't believe Laura and shares the information with her boyfriend who informs her Laura is the woman that scammed his friend Steve Sullivan and ran off with his business partner Evan. John, Erin's boyfriend feels they need to tell Steve and they decide to monitor Laura's movements. Laura, of course, gets murdered.

The rest of the book works towards solving the murder. I felt the confused at times by the clutter of people that appeared who didn't seem to push the plot/story forward. I did find the insertion of design blurbs to be interesting, sometimes more interesting than the accompanying plot! However, the mystery itself was interesting and I found the book worth finishing to find out "who did it."
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
George Wong, Laura Smith, Jerry Stone, Steve Sullivan, Dave Holland, Robert Pembrook, Miss Gilbert, John Norton, Henry Toben, Linda Delgardio, Audrey Munroe, Hannah Garrison, Evan Cambridge, Miss Smith, Erin Gilbert, Dom Bliss
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