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Families Apart: Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting Paperback – January 1, 1995


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 349 pages
  • Publisher: A Perigee Book; 1st Perigee Ed edition (January 1, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 039952150X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0399521508
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.9 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,473,190 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Today, up to an estimated 50% of children of divorce suffer lingering depression, difficulty forming healthy relationships and other psychological sequelae. But according to Blau ( Parenting by Heart ) this need not be so. Divorce does not end a family, argues the author, who prefers the term "family apart" over the more common (and more negative) "broken home." Based on questionnaires and interviews with 112 adults and 34 children, this study suggests how families can successfully cope with divorce and create a new environment in which children can develop "normally"--and even thrive--by following these 10 commandments of co-parenting: heal yourself; act maturely; listen to your children; respect your ex as a parent; divide parenting time; acknowledge your differences; communicate; step out of gender roles; recognize and accept change; and know that co-parenting "is forever." The case histories of "families apart" will show readers that life after divorce need not be marked by continuing trauma. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Families Apart deals with the difficult relationships between divorced spouses, their children, and their extended families. Because these relationships last a lifetime and are critical to the well-being of the children, Blau feels that much can be done to create harmonious (or at least civil) patterns for continued contact between ex-spouses. She promotes one solution: co-parenting, which "involves both parents' unremitting dedication to their children's care . . . regardless of legal documents, living arrangements, or allocation of time." To make co-parenting effective, divorced spouses must put aside their personal acrimony and work together for the good of the children. The models presented, while certainly worthy ideals to strive toward, require extensive cooperation and good will, which may in reality be difficult to achieve. Nevertheless, many families should find this useful. For public library collections.
- Kay Brodie, Chesa peake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Award-winning journalist Melinda Blau has been researching,writing, and speaking about relationships and social trends for more than thirty years. Her latest book, Family Whispering is the fourth book in the popular Baby Whispering series. She answers readers' questions weekly at "Dear Family Whisperer" on Huffington Post.

Melinda began collaborating with the late Tracy Hogg (a.k.a., the "Baby Whisperer") in 2000 and has since given birth to three best-selling books: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Her new book, Family Whispering, guides BW fans through the next (and even trickier) phase of parenthood: working together as a family. 

In her 2009 book, Consequential Strangers: Turning Everyday Encounters into Life-Changing Moments, a collaboration with psychologist Karen L. Fingerman, Melinda looked at the opposite end of the relationship spectrum: the surprisingly vital connections that extend beyond family and close friends--a subject that took her into the world of business and marketing, the Internet and social media, health and "place making."

Melinda's more than hundred articles on families, marriage, education, health, and sexuality have been featured in highly-regarded print venues such as New York, The New York Times, Utne Reader, and the Psychotherapy Networker. For six years, she also penned "The New Family" column for Child magazine and now writes the weekly "Dear Famiy Whisperer" column for Huffington Post. She also contributes to a number of online magazines, including Psychology Today, Shareable, More, BeliefNet, and RewireMe.

Melinda's other books include: Families Apart (co-parenting after divorce) with its companion reader, Loving and Listening. She also co-wrote with: family therapist Ron Taffel (Parenting by Heart, Nurturing Good Children Now, and The Second Family); civil rights activist Myrlie Evers Williams (Watch Me Fly); researchers Christopher Hayes and Deborah Anderson (Our Turn: How Women Triumph in the Face of Divorce); and life coach and empowerment expert Barbara Biziou (Joy of Ritual and Joy of Family Rituals).

A featured guest expert on Oprah, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, and numerous other national and local TV and radio broadcasts, Melinda's writing also has been honored by a wide variety of organizations, among them, the American Psychological Association, the Children's Rights Council, the Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology, the American Legion Auxiliary "Heart of America" competition, and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Visit Melinda Blau's author page on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1l2L4c5 and follow her on Twitter: @melindablau

Find out more about Family Whispering at http://familywhispering.com. You can also read Melinda's other blogs at: www.consequentialstrangers.com
and www.motheru.com (a site exploring the mother/adult daughter relationship)

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 28, 1996
Format: Paperback
Divorce ends a marriage, not a family. This book--which is based on divorce research of the last fifteen years and the strategies reported by successful co-parents--is the only parenting guide specfically targeted to divorced parents. Research is conclusive: continued conflict harms kids and so does the lost of a parent. This book can help you minimize both those risk factors. It contains strategies for dealing with your pain and moving ahead in your own life and for helping your children through the crisis
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 14, 1998
Format: Paperback
This book has helped us focus on what it takes for successful co-parenting. It is an excellent resource for all divorcing parents to return to when they are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated with their ex-spouse - this book will help them refocus on what is important - the happiness of the children.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By SuperDougio on January 5, 2002
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Melinda Blau is not a family therapist or psychiatrist, she is a journalist and co-parent. The real strength of this excellent text is that, although she is a successful divorced co-parent herself, she resists the urge to preach her own views on this difficult and important topic, instead reflecting many hours of research and interviews in a wealth of real-life examples and illustrative anecdotes, providing a comforting sense that one is not the first to encounter the challenges of raising kids successfully while living apart, and giving practical and balanced advice. Essential for both parents.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Michelle Golden on August 20, 2003
Format: Paperback
I strongly recommend this book for all parents before during and after divorce. The book helped me recognize and face "ugly" feelings that I hadn't actually really acknowledged were within me. Doing so, and following the wisdom within these pages, helped me to redirect my feelings in ways that weren't destructive to my children. Though my divorce was fairly amicable, I still needed a big picture view on a regular basis. I've returned to my book several times over the years and regard it with the same respect I give an old friend. I know that sounds silly. Even when close friends face divorce, I will not part with my copy of this book, I order them one of their own! I've bought at least 10 copies since 1998...and I can honestly say every recipient has thanked me profusely and agreed they are better co-parents for having read it.
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