Families of Value: Personal Profiles of Pioneering Lesbian and Gay Parents (Paperback)

~ Robert A. Bernstein (Author) "At age twelve, Alex Tinker turned a major corner of his life..." (more)
Key Phrases: gay dads, gay parents, limiting marriage, New York, Family Week, Takoma Park (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Families comprised of same-sex parents are examples of "the ultimate triumph of courage and integrity," argues Bernstein, author of Straight Parents, Gay Children. To demonstrate this courage, he assembles a collection of real-life stories of gay parents' struggles to raise their children in a society hostile to their lifestyle. From a gay Protestant minister to two lesbian police officers hoping to extend death benefits to each other, these narratives offer insight into what motivates same-sex parents in their fight for legitimacy and acceptance-namely, the wellbeing of their children. For example, Bernstein chronicles the plight of Steven and Roger, foster parents to five children born with HIV, who are fighting against the state's attempts to remove one of the boys from their care. One of the most enlightening chapters, "Cherry-Picking the Truth," debunks many of the myths about children of gay parents and reveals the particular hardships that they endure. Unfortunately, however, the book focuses too much on the parents' struggles for social change and not enough on their family relationships. Thus, while this is an intriguing study of those leading the movement for same-sex parenting, it lacks the passion and emotional depth that would make these profiles truly resonate with readers.
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From Booklist

With gay marriage in the news, attention has turned to gay parents. Bernstein, author of Straight Parents, Gay Children (1995), here portrays the gay and lesbian parents whose intimate lives he explores as pioneers fighting a cultural battle to change society. Growing numbers of children are raised in gay and lesbian households, he says, with hard-to-access statistics ranging from 1 to 14 million. The family stories he tells embrace a religiously conservative Protestant minister who is the gay father of two, a pair of lesbian policewomen who battled for extension of police death benefits, and a 12-year-old who, renouncing his lesbian mom's Quaker pacifism, beats up a boy who calls her a "lezzie." While some stories demonstrate the silver linings of storm clouds, one woman objects that the media light shone on gay families is too often rosy: she recalls a childhood spent in terror of being taken from her gay dad and his partner and of fearing their house would be torched. A strong addition to sociology and gender studies collections. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Marlowe and Company (April 10, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1560256389
• ISBN-13: 978-1560256380
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #658,517 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Powerful Argument for Same-Sex Parenting, June 6, 2005

By	Grady Harp (Los Angeles, CA United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Robert Bernstein knows how to make a point: let the subjects speak for themselves! This well prepared, eminently readable book tackles the currently high profile topic of not only same-sex marriages but more poignantly same-sex parenting. In an introduction Bernstein presents a brief history of his topic and a précis that informs us that the families discussed in the book are not randomly chosen: the families here represented are "leaders in bringing about the social change that is gradually easing the way to their acceptance." And so we are fairly informed that the contents of this valuable document will be skewed toward the hard work of some prime examples of same-sex parents and their respective children with the hope that reading these varying experiences will foster understanding and appreciation for the valiant work of the subjects chosen.

Not that Bernstein is out to preach: quite the contrary, by translating in to eloquent language the trials and tribulations of six families of varying backgrounds and living situations he lets the histories make their own powerful points. The families represented demonstrate the fact that children raised by same-sex parents do not 'adopt' same-sex life styles because of their parents. The children here described reveal the peer punishment and rejection in the schoolyard, and yet in most cases once the children are open about their parents' life style instead of hiding for fear their peers will discover it, the children fit comfortably into the system.

Bernstein makes many tender and important observations: same-sex parents (especially gay men) tend to make better parents because they desperately WANT to be parents in a society where they must struggle for the privilege as opposed to many straight families whose children my be 'biologic accidents in timing' and/or viewed as contributing to the financial and stability problems faced by those who marry too young.

In addition to providing evidence that children of same-sex parents are sound, healthy and well-adjusted and that same-sex parents (at least those here represented) are passionately devoted and dedicated to the enviable privilege of parenting, Bernstein follows his book with Appendices that are informative, enlightening, and offer answers to frequently asked questions about same-sex unions and other sociologic avenues of interest that provide sound structure to his basic précis. This is an excellent book for the general public, especially at this point of time in our history, and it is also a reassuring work for the many men and women who are currently struggling with the public concept of their plight. Highly recommended reading. Grady Harp, June 05