Family-By-Choice [Hardcover]

Susan Ahern (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 18, 1997

Explores deep friendships that have evolved into family-like relationships.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to Ahern, a freelance writer, and Bailey, a psychology professor at Virginia Commonwealth University, our mobile society, the high divorce rate and the prevalence of childhood traumas have all contributed to the fragmentation of nuclear and extended biological families. Because kinship is such a basic human need, the authors argue that alternatives to traditional families have evolved to satisfy individuals' desire for community. Examined here, in this occasionally repetitive text punctuated by pop-psych terminology, are various forms of "international families," including strong, enduring friendships, close bonds among members of organized groups and connections forged on the Internet between people who never see each other (cyberfamilies). Ahern also discusses her interesting personal experience when, as a poor white child, she found love and acceptance among black neighbors. She feels that African Americans have preserved an extended kinship system that relies, in part, on providing multiple caregivers for children.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Both titles provide well-researched information on the nature of the family in the United States today, and both agree that we cannot turn back in history to an earlier view of the family, but each has a different focus and message. Westheimer (the famous "Dr. Ruth," author of Encyclopedia of Sex, LJ 7/94) and Yagoda examine what constitutes a family, defined in the traditional sense of a household, and then recommend how the family can be helped by individuals, government, and business. The authors recognize many variations of the family, arguing that it may be headed by same-sex partners, unmarried partners, single parents, stepparents, or grandparents. They conclude, "We will never bolster the family if we insist that it has to fit the old-fashioned, and in many cases outdated, model." Ahern (a professional writer) and Bailey (psychology, Virginia Commonwealth Univ.), on the other hand, define family as the people we choose to support us in our daily lives, not those people in our household or related to us by blood. In their view, "Our modern society, with its dysfunctional families, easily dissolved s family as the people we choose to supporing population, is forcing us to become increasingly skillful in developing 'kin-like' relations with an ever-increasing range of individuals." In their study of kinship from its ancient roots to the 1990s, they emphasize intentional communities formed by many ties?work, neighborhood, the Internet, religious and social groups and show how to build such families. Both titles are recommended for public and undergraduate libraries.?Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Fairview Press (February 18, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0925190926
• ISBN-13: 978-0925190925
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,145,985 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Revolutionary concept, filled with human interest stories, April 17, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Family-By-Choice (Hardcover)

This book was enthralling from the first story of Denny who created his own family by choice, through all of the research and historical background of kinship and what it means to us as humans, up to and including all of the examination of the black culture and their ability to bond and form families without blood ties. I thought this book is a must read for anyone who is trying to cope with today's fragmented society that confounds our need to belong in a connected family. Ms. Ahern and Dr. Bailey obviously compliment each other as co-authors blending Ms. Ahern's dramatic personal stories with Dr. Bailey's reseach that fills in the link from a scientific perspective. The content in this book is ground breaking and it would not suprise me if someone like Oprah or the New York Times picks up this book and gives it very broad and favorable coverage

4.0 out of 5 stars An interesting look at extended families, April 9, 2006

By 

Robert J. Wilson - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Family-By-Choice (Hardcover)

Here is one of those books that bring up some wonderful points and ideas, yet shy away from some conclusions that the authors either reached and decided not to add to the book or avoid out and out.

This book came out before the debate concerning gay marriage and polyamourous lifestyles were considered news worthy. But many of their conclusions would support those fighting for those causes.

Both authors borrow heavily from their own lives to make their points and both have very open minds. They seem to go out of their way to avoid some controversial material, even though they hint that they have reached some conclusions regaurding marriage, love and even sex.

Overall I highly recommend this book for anyone that seeks a new way of living but be sure to read between the lines and reach your own conclusions.