A Family Divided: A Divorced Father's Struggle With the Child Custody Industry [Hardcover]

Robert Mendelson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 1997

This is the story of a once-happy family now torn apart by divorce - its dignity shredded in a family court system that sees mothers as the only proper guardians for their children, even in the overwhelming majority of cases not involving abusive or threatening husbands. Written from the divorced father's point of view, this book exposes our twisted legal system, its obvious abuses of civil rights, and indifferent courts that subject caring fathers across the nation to vengeful ex-wives, opportunistic psychologists and psychiatrists, and overzealous attorneys. Robert Mendelson argues that all fathers should not be viewed as deadbeat dads who shirk their responsibilities. Public opinion, the press, and the courts are wrong to think that men cannot be single parents. "A Family Divided" alerts divorcing fathers to the hidden minefields and pitfalls of custody proceedings, offers practical recommendations for reform, and sheds light on the real cause of fatherlessness in America today.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"All too frequently fathers going through the process of divorce are treated as if they are cash machines, whose continuing psychological involvement with their own children is superfluous to their well-being. Robert Mendelson's new book, A FAMILY DIVIDED, compellingly chronicles one man's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!" -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President National Fatherhood Initiative

"I wish to congratulate Mr. Mendelson on his book A FAMILY DIVIDED. The book is on target about the social ill that faces society today. I liken it to social cancer." -- Sidney Siller, chairman, National Organization for Men

From the Author

A FAMILY DIVIDED is the true story of a Harvard educated physician who in the first lines of the Foreword is quoted as saying: "I went to court to divorce my wife -- not my children. My wife seemed to have other ideas."

That quote from Michael L. Nieland, M.D. provides the impetus for my book. However, A FAMILY DIVIDED is not merely one divorced father's recollection of his bid to share equally the custody of his children. It is much more. I have attempted to shed entirely new light on perhaps the greatest social ill facing our society today: the proliferation of one-parent families headed by mothers. Study after study has demonstrated that children raised without fathers have a much greater likelihood of becoming disturbed, dysfunctional, even violent adults. Yet, neither the media nor any book has identified the primary cause of this national problem.

Until now.

A FAMILY DIVIDED reveals the unlikeliest of villains: the judicial system. By focusing on one divorced father's battle to remain in his children's lives, A FAMILY DIVIDED demonstrates that family courts -- responsible for more than one million children newly affected by divorce annually -- all too often aid and abet the alienation of children from their fathers. It is worth noting that although Dr. Nieland's decade-long custody battle with his ex-wife is chronicled from his point of view, I have gone to great lengths to make sure that the book is balanced and truthful. All the participants in this child custody saga state their positions, in part, through letters, reports, court petitions, and actual courtroom testimony. Every scene is illuminated by proper documentation.

In summary, I wrote A FAMILY DIVIDED (as I stated in the Acknowledgments) for "the millions upon millions of Michael Nielands out there who suddenly found themselves excluded from their children's lives simply because they were no longer married to their former spouses. It is my wish that this book will shed some light on this injustice."

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 547 pages
• Publisher: Prometheus Books (July 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573921513
• ISBN-13: 978-1573921510
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,702,255 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Anyone with a social conscience needs to read this book!, September 16, 1998

By 

Angela Carr - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Family Divided: A Divorced Father's Struggle With the Child Custody Industry (Hardcover)

A Family Divided is a gripping account of one man's battle for equity. Mendelson's account of Dr. Michael L. Lieland's experience with the family court system was so riveting I read the book in one sitting. This book is a must read for anyone about to embark on child custody litigation or for anyone who already has. I enjoyed Mendelson's book because it was an honest in-depth account of one of the most pressing problems of our times.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars man bites dog, dog bites man, June 8, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: A Family Divided: A Divorced Father's Struggle With the Child Custody Industry (Hardcover)

In my search for a book that would detail and prepare me for the custody process, I found this book to be very insightful. Not only does Mendelson do a good job in describing the bureaucracy and secret underbelly within family law, but he is able to give it a real life perspective because of its direct influence from Michael Nieland, the father and main charcter. I got the feeling that his story was fully represented. Nieland's personal anecdotes gave this real life story even more validity and emotion. It does not read as a text book at all. If you are currently going through or are preparing for custody proceedings, this book can be a difficult and bitter read at times, however it can save you from the unexpected and unforseen and may even help you stay focused, rather than lost in a whirlwind of anxiety and personal tragedy. My only complaint would be that there is not much discussed regarding the attorney/client relationship.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Glimpse of Hell...A Glimmer of Hope, December 17, 2000

By 

"novelljohn" (Webster, TX United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Family Divided: A Divorced Father's Struggle With the Child Custody Industry (Hardcover)

Dr. Mendelson gives a gripping account of how the legal system views fathers as people who don't care about their children. As a soon to be divorced dad myself, I found that what I am going through right now is (while specific details are different)similar to what his ex put him through. Dr. Mendelson never gave up and I believe never will...no matter how difficult and biased the courts are against fathers. I could not put this book down. Although this book gives no real ideas on how to fight a vicious ex for your childrens' rights to see you, it did give me one very important thing...HOPE! I encourage every father who is currently battling the court system for custody or the right to see their children on a regular basis to read this book!!