Customer Reviews

Family Secrets - The Path to Self-Acceptance and Reunion

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I first read this book when the subtitle was "What you don't know can hurt you." Bradshaw and others have finally done research to prove his thesis that generations repeat patterns, events, behaviors--not just personality types and genetic diseases. Reluctantly I had to agree because my observations, although unscientific, confirm what he explains.

Understanding Bradshaw's book altered my life and the abbreviated life of my brother, as indicated in the book "Gossip Kills (The 9th/8th? Commandment). The story therein is a case study of what Bradshaw posits in Family Secrets. A "must read" for anyone who understands or suspects that we're only as sick as our secrets.

Family Secrets provides powerful tools for understanding the dynamics of families, and understanding how you may have become unknowingly enmeshed in patterns that can persist for generations.

The most valuable parts of the book are the techniques for uncovering family secrets, and the method for bringing all the information together in such a way that it makes sense. These techniques are practical and really work. I made several major discoveries about families I am involved with as a result of this book.

Bradshaw includes many new insights about how families work throughout the book.

Overall, highly recommended.

This is one of the best works that I have ever read. Honest, with clear direction on what steps to take to improve the state of your life. Highly recommend!

I agree with the premise that our family secrets have a direct bearing on who we are today as people. I am not sure it is necessary to go back and try to figure out what the actual secret was to heal. It has been my experience that trying to figure your parents out may be a task in futility. Clients can become fixated on why their parents did what they did and this can again put their healing in the hands of their parents. It is however important to recognize that children often do select mates that attempt to met those unmet needs of our childhood. Often our mates have the exact issues that we need to work out with our parents. It is brought out in the book that we choose what is familiar and therefore choose poorly if we have unresolved issues from our past. The book does a good job of helping the reader to understand the power of family secrets.

It's so hard to get family members to truthfully and completely reveal buried secrets even when you specifically ask them for answers to the past. People who live in shame of the past will try to dismiss your inquiry as "that's in the past" and "get over it". As a person trying to learn about or cope with a secret, you will discover the truth behind a secret at a different time from when the secret was created. Asking someone to revisit and share the past is asking them to relive the shame. Not everyone has the courage to confess or face a secret. But this book helps you heal by understanding the shame behind burying secrets and how to get the information out of them...and out of yourself. It's helpful to see the chart in Chapter 10 outlining secret severity levels, which discusses the types of secrets that should be exposed and ones that are safe to remain personal/unexposed. I also like his book entitled, Healing the Shame that Binds You, but this book about Family Secrets is an easier read.

How does a Seeker liberate themselves from disempowering and limiting beliefs? By understanding your past personal history and then rewriting it, you empower yourself to move forward to recreate a timeless, limitless and abundant you. Cleaning out the family closet isn't easy but eventually it must be done! John Bradshaw's book can help. I highly recommend this book and think it is a classic for many more years to come.
Affirmations for the Everyday Goddess Spiritual Guidebook & 22 Wisdom Cards for Contemplation & Prayer (based on the 22 major arcana of the tarot)

The author's theory is that you keep acting out your ancestor's problems, even if you have no idea what they are...you know subconsciously, but don't know how to deal with them. Therefore if your grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, you may be also, and that's why. But you will need to research your family, on both sides, and interview great-aunts etc, who according to the author, will be glad to tell you personal things...like whether their father sexually abused them. Why would they tell after 70 years? Who knows, maybe they would. But it just doesn't seem likely to me. You have to draw family charts way into the past, with as much info as you can find out about your direct descendants. I agree this might be helpful but just how probable is it for most people to accomplish? It sounds like a lot of work, and even people who are very into Geneology are lucky if they find out dates of birth and who married who a couple of generations back.

So I just don't know how well this would work. If it works for you, great.

Great book, bad customer service. Bought this as a gift to send to another address. Took almost a MONTH to be delivered AND I called 7 times for info on shipping and could not get ANY info. Philadelphia book club never responded to any of my Emails and Amazon would not give me any info on phone numbers to reach them.
It should never take a month to go from Phil to Boston, AND there HAS TO BE a way to track the shipment