15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Get Answers to Questions That You Didn't Know You Had, April 8, 2003
This review is from: Family Secrets: What You Don't Know Can Hurt You. (Audio Cassette)
I first read this book, June 1995, while sitting at the beach, far away from a store, and one month before I was to host a family-reunion.
My mind was searching for a way to be who I decide I am, while I do my best to respect each of my family members - a tall order, at best.
Usually, while I am reading a book, be that fiction or non-fiction, I have paper to write notes into. But I didn't have them, at this time.
One chapter into reading this wonderful book, I had to leave the beach, to buy a notebook, because there are so many powerful tools in this book, ones which I absolutely had to capture in my own written words, as the thoughts and emotions rose up.
And once I finished reading this book, and reviewed my notes, I was still amazed at how much more I knew about each of my family members, particularly the one family member who until then I wondered if he even had emotions.
You cannot passively read a book like this, and expect to heal what ails you. You must partner with John Bradshaw, to understand who you are, through who you have and may still be surrounded by.
I had one challenge, in reading this book: John Bradshaw advises readers to ask relatives about facts about other relatives. In some families, communication is so toxic that no one will tell the truth.
And when this is the case, in your family, as you ask yourself the questions, look around you, and expect to find the answer, through holding the question close to your soul.
Also, if you haven't read a book like this, and done extensive work, prior, you could look around you, and see who in your life is a mirror of your family members.
This will speak volumes to you.
Reading this book, prior to hosting my family reunion was so cathartic that my mantra became, "I don't care how many actually show up. I'll do my part to encourage those who do show up to feel welcome."
What I noticed, and continue to notice, as a result of having read this wonderful book, is that no matter where we come from, we can use that past to claim our voice. And doing this does require us to admit, over and over again, what was, and what we desire.
For those who believe that looking back in the past is blaming those from the past; dangerous; or, is a risk of being trapped by the past, I must say that having studied my past, I am free to look at my notes and see that what I was really doing was accepting who and where I was then.
It is in accepting our deepest pains that we automatically enhanced who we are.
Read this book to use your past to catapult yourself into your true self.
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