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"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America." - GOTHIC MAGAZINE
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!" - CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel
"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century." - JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door
"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale." - CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother
"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender." - BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea
"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist." - THE GUARDIAN
"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III." - DETAILS MAGAZINE
Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author CARLTON MELLICK III has been pumping out some of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books that you'll never want to admit you secretly love.
His books are released on a quarterly basis (every January, April, July, and October).
Best known as one of the leading authors of the bizarro fiction movement in literature, he is also one of the most prolific authors of his generation with over 40 books in print since 2001. He won the Wonderland Book Award for his novel "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland" and has had short stories make it into The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror and The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade.
Although many of his earliest works are on the surreal and experimental side, his current style is to take the most ridiculous concepts imaginable and approach them with complete sincerity, as if they are not intended to be ridiculous at all. Always full of tongue-in-cheek humor, social satire, and told in a simplistic straightforward prose style similar to that of children's literature or early pulp fiction, Carlton Mellick III's work is one of a kind, to say the least.
This is two reviews - one of Fantastic Orgy and one of Amazon.
These stories are awesome. (I wanted to say something else here, but Amazon wouldn't let me - see my review of Amazon below.)
It's easy to see why Carlton Mellick III is the leading bizarro author. His talent is incredible. These stories are not just good bizarro. They're good storytelling. Mellick's ability to draw the reader in with a good plot, interesting characters, and a well-told story would make him a hit in any genre. Bizarro lovers should feel blessed that they have him.
Fantastic Orgy is a collection of five short stories. All of them are great. My least favorite was "Ear Cat." But I don't like cats. Or it could be that I'm such a pervert that the other stories tickled my fancy more.
I laughed all the way through. Starting with "Candy Coated," a story about a buff dude with a lollipop head whose style is cramped by the truckers who keep licking him so he can't score with the ladaaaays, I was hooked. The titular story is an awesome read about characters who flock to a staged orgy so they could attract the coolest and latest STDs. There are some really bizarre STDs too.
Mellick doesn't let up. He maintains his style all the way through, keeps the writing tight, and keeps the plot on the mark. Very few wasted words. I wish I could score this a 4.7 or 4.8. It deserves more than a 4, but I'm not ready to give it a 5 because there might be something better out there.
If you like sex with sharks, talking genitals, and gross humor, then you'll get plenty of that in Fantastic Orgy - all of the stories in the collection. Plus, the author includes a set of notes after the stories.Read more ›
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These are some of the best short stories Carlton Mellick III has ever written, and I'm pretty sure that Fantastic Orgy (the short story of the book that shares the same title) is my new favorite short story of all time. Like everything the writer does, it's creative and hilarious, and as the story advances, there're just layers and layers of even MORE creative and hilarious stuff piled on top of it to the max. Where Fantastic Orgy was going and where it wound up was just astounding. When you think you've just read one of the coolest things you've ever heard of in your life, something comes along in the story that tops it pretty fast, and so on. It's just amazing. I have to say it's one of the most wild and entertaining short stories you'll ever read.
And Fantastic Orgy doesn't stop there. Another short in it, called Ear Cat, is probably my new second favorite short story by the author. I LOVED this one. LOVED IT! It has a relatable indoor setting, but is set in a weird future so expect some very strange things to pop-up in it. And I mean "relatable setting" in terms of the story being about agoraphobia, a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder, and hoarding. It was really scary how much I understood what the main character was going through. Which is funny. But also scary. I'm also not a big fan of cats, so the twisted versions of these creatures, and the claustrophobic feel to the story - made for a really tense and engaging read. And like before, wait'll you see where it all leads. These 2 short stories have such killer endings they definitely make the whole thing seem much more epic in scope.
Candy-Coated is a short, ridiculous, and HILARIOUS short story set on Mill Avenue - a popular street I used to go to back in Arizona a lot.Read more ›
Fantastic Orgy by CM3 consists of several short stories that run along side the title story. While CM3 captured perfectly how I view the overly macho type guys in his Candy Coated, I still find myself more addicted to the story Ear Cat, perhaps it is my own tendency to lean towards agoraphobia, but I could truly envision a world which would require an Ear Cat and kudos to CM3 for having the vision to send this strange species to Irene to keep her company in the world of her own home. You see, Irene and 94% of the population is severely agoraphobic, so they need their cats.
Fantastic Orgy is a great statement in and of itself. STDs have become "cool" and people trade them. But what happens when a bad one goes rampant inside a sex club? The "hero" in this short story just wanted to contract the vibrator STD to make his girlfriend happy and landed himself in an entire world of trouble, and possibly more STDs than one person can handle.
City Hobgoblins is a great little prequel to Satan Burger, and with Satan Burger being the first Bizarro book I'd ever read, this one felt a little like home to me. There's also a cameo of Shark Girl from Punk Land in this story, if you enjoyed Punk Land and/or Satan Burger, this book is worth picking up just for this short.
I found myself not entirely enthralled with Porno in August, it seemed as though something was lacking, or perhaps it is my personal need to not feel confused, and this story left me feeling a bit light headed, as though I've just forgotten something...something that I'm sure I should remember, like how did I get to my desk? Or when did I start typing this review...
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