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Fascinating Womanhood Paperback – January 30, 2007

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About the Author

Helen Andelin is the founder of the Fascinating Womanhood movement and is also the author of The Fascinating Girl. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Answer

The first step to a happy marriage is to understand that all life is governed by law--nature, music, art, and all of the sciences. These laws are immutable. To live in harmony with them produces health, beauty, and the abundant life. To violate them brings ugliness and destruction. Just as unwavering are the laws of human relationships. These laws are in operation even though you may not understand them. You may be happy in marriage because you obey them, or you may be unhappy because you violate them without an awareness of the laws in operation.

Through ignorance of the laws of marriage relationships, much unnecessary unhappiness exists. We find one woman happy, honored, and loved; and another--no less attractive, no less admirable, no less lovable--neglected, unhappy, and disappointed. Why? This book explains why, for it teaches the laws she must obey if she is to be loved, honored, and adored.

Fascinating Womanhood

Fascinating Womanhood will teach you how to be happy in marriage. There are three essentials in reaching the goal:

1. Love: Since the cornerstone of a happy marriage is love, you will learn how to awaken your husband's love. These teachings apply, no matter what your age or situation. Love is not limited to the young or the beautiful, but to those who have qualities that awaken it.

If your husband doesn't love you, you are likely doing something to cool his affections, or have lost something which awakens his love. You may have begun marriage lovingly but romance is fading. Why? Could it be that you have changed? Take a good look. In most cases a man stops loving a woman after marriage because she stops doing things which arouse his feelings. When you regain your charming ways, love can be rekindled.

In winning your husband's love, it isn't necessary for him to know or do anything about it. This isn't to say that he doesn't make mistakes or need to improve, but when you correct your mistakes you bring about a loving response in him. Frequently his response is so remarkable that it exceeds your highest expectations.

The art of awakening a man's love is not a difficult accomplishment for women because it is based on our natural instincts. However, in our highly civilized life many of our natural instincts have become rusty due to lack of use. You need only to awaken the traits which belong to you by nature.

2. Self-Dignity: Essential to happiness in marriage is self-dignity. Does your husband ever speak to you harshly, criticize you unduly, treat you unfairly, neglect you, impose on you, or in any way mistreat you? The important thing is not what he does but how you react. Do you shrink back as if struck by a lash? Do you go into your shell? Do you pay him back with a cutting remark? Or, do you fly off the handle with an ugly temper? If you react in any of these ways you will cause yourself unnecessary grief and lessen your husband's love for you.

No man likes an ugly temper, nor does he want a woman he can walk on, or one who will retreat into her shell and feel sorry for herself. He wants a woman with some spunk--some hidden fire, a woman he can't push around. Some men even admire little spitfires, women who are adorably independent and saucy, whom they can't put down with even the most degrading remark.

In Fascinating Womanhood the method of handling wounded feelings is called childlike anger, spunk, or sauciness. It will teach you how to handle a man's rough nature without pain, without friction. You can, in a flash, turn a crisis into a humorous situation, so that the man may have the sudden impulse to laugh. Instead of hurting marriage, childlike anger can increase love and tenderness.

3. Desires: If you are to be happy in marriage your desires must be considered. I am referring to things you want to have, places you want to go, something you want to do, or something you want done for you. This is not to suggest selfish whims, but worthy desires. Unfortunately, you may have gone without these things for years because you didn't know how to motivate your husband to do these things for you.

As a consequence, his feelings for you have likely diminished. We love whom we serve. If your husband never does anything for you beyond the call of duty, he may lose his love for you. In Fascinating Womanhood you will learn how to obtain the things you need and deserve without causing a marital stir. Your husband will want to do things for you and will love you more because of it.

Although the teachings focus on building a relationship with your husband, the principles apply in building a relationship with any man--father, brother, son, teacher, student, employer. Take care, however, that you don't use them unrighteously, to win the affections of a married man. You would be guilty of a cruel sin and would destroy another woman's relationship as well as your own. In relationships outside of your marriage, apply them only to eliminate friction and to build harmony and trust.

The teachings are also helpful to the single mother who is rearing a family without a father present in the home. She becomes the feminine image for her children to view, as essential to boys in developing their manliness as to girls in developing their womanliness. She should also teach them about masculinity by providing them with a male image to associate with--her father, a brother, or another male person.

Within these pages you will learn principles to follow if you are to be happy, loved, and cherished. The study centers around the ideal woman, from a man's point of view, the kind of woman who awakens a man's deepest feelings of love. Within your reach is the possibility of a happy marriage. You can bring it about independent of any effort on the part of your husband. So, you hold the keys to your own happiness.

In accomplishing this you lose none of your dignity, influence, or freedom, but gain them, and it is only then that you can play your vital part in this world. The role of a woman when played correctly is fulfilling, fascinating, and full of intrigue. There never need be a dull moment. The practice of this art of womanhood is an enjoyable one, filled with rich rewards, numerous surprises, and vast happiness. Many years of experience teaching thousands of women has proven this to be true.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 448 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam; Updated edition (January 30, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553384279
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553384277
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 1 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (318 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #303,821 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

163 of 187 people found the following review helpful By Sarah Hempel Irani on January 3, 2005
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I have read many of the reviews for this book and am wondering if all the reviewers have read the same book? My mom read this book and attended a class when my parents marriage was rocky. It really made an amazing transformation in their lives! So, I read it. Don't get me wrong, I threw it a few times, but then I started seeing the forest beyond the trees and much of what she says is right on the mark. She insists on being sincere and not using these prinicples for manipulation. I have read the book several times, in fact, and don't see doormat anywhere. I do think that the book needs some updating and condensing, especially the lanuage used.

Many of the reviews remind me of conversations with people following Atkins and eating only meat. They glossed over the "eat vegetables" part.

What is so bad about accepting your husband as he is, appreciating him and admiring him? What is so bad about acting feminine? What is so bad about taking some responibility for your own actions and giving him the freedom to take responsibility for his.

This book has a lot of important principles in it. Read it with an open mind, sincerity and love.
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175 of 209 people found the following review helpful By Natalie on January 20, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I am a 26 year old woman who has been married for 8 years. My sister recommended this book to me and I have to say that I was absolutely engrossed in what it had to say. You can say that this book teaches ignorance or racism or sexist remarks, but it does nothing of the sort. You have to read this with an open mind. This book explains men inside and out. Every test that this author mentions, worked like a charm each and every time. I have saved my husband and I many many arguments by being able to understand how he feels. Men are just as complex as women and understanding men is simply a gift. This book tells women to love honor and cherish their husbands. Is it not true that women want the same thing. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "what goes around comes around." That's what this book is about. Treat your man with respect and honor and he will return the feeling with an honest heart. That's all there is to it.
It tells me why my husband says and does the things that he does and helps me to help him. Women want to be treated with respect and honor and dignity and this book shows you how to achieve this on a kind and honorable level. It is not a book about being a doormat and it does not say that you have to give sex on demand as one of the reviewers mentioned. It simply says that when we are kind and loving to others, they will be kind and loving to us.
The only thing I found difficult was the part about not being employed. I agree that there is no more noble a career than being a homemaker, but in todays expensive world, there are often times, no way around it and if you're going to have to work, it might as well be something that you enjoy and if you have to go to school for that then so be it.
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80 of 100 people found the following review helpful By Paige on January 17, 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I first read this book after hearing my sister-in-law talk about it. I am very happy in my marriage and realized that I unknowingly was living many of the principles the author talks about. It should not take the place of the Bible, but I think it could be very helpful to those struggling in marriage.
I don't think the author's intent was to devalue women or men in any way. I think her intent was to help women see what ways they can change themselves to help their marriage change. So many people are getting divorced these days and seem to always blame the other person for the problems. Andelin wrote this book hoping to inspire women to do their part. Her husband wrote a book to the men inspiring them to do their part. Wise persons know that if you want to change your partner you change yourself. Of course you can't MAKE someone change, but by changing yourself you INVITE the other person to change. You become a better person in the process. Andelin is helping women do that.
As I read the book I have started applying more things into my marriage, not to manipulate my husband but to help him feel good. I didn't realize in the past how he felt when I said certain things. This book helped me understand him better and show him love in the ways in understands. It has worked wonderfully. He is very respectful of me and treats me wonderfully. This book has helped us to make our marriage even better.
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172 of 220 people found the following review helpful By Ruth Greenwood on April 8, 2002
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Today's my 18th wedding anniversary, and if I had followed most of this book's recommendations, my husband would have had me committed long ago! Installing the cupholder upside-down to prove my need for his masterful help?! Even with his degree in Industrial Design, he wouldn't be flattered...he'd just be wondering why he'd been foolish enough to marry a dingbat, to force his children to be raised by a dingbat mother in these threatening times when one needs to have one's maximum wits available in case of impending terror or crime! This author must have missed the passage in the Old Testament describing the woman of valor whose value is above rubies! That biblical woman was a terrific manager, she bought and sold property and farm goods, she was very skilled, wise and strong. I can't think of a single Biblical woman who benefited herself or her family or her people by acting childish and dumb. Do you think Sarah or Ruth or Esther or Mary were talking babytalk to their spouses? come on! It is possible to have humility AND dignity AND wisdom AND strength, to offer the full measure of your intelligence and capability to your husband and life-mate, instead of minimizing yourself because you think he is not man enough for his ego to be able to stand strong in comparison. Why not offer 100% of your gifts rather than insulting him by acting like a half-wit (implying he must be only a slightly-more-than-half-wit, dumb enough to be threatened by 100% of you?) How to have a happy marriage? Just love, love love your spouse, listen to him, respect him, enjoy him, laugh with him, know him, be patient with him and keep joy and laughter in your home. Honor and love yourself and your strengths and your flaws, and share your gladness with Heaven and Earth. It's only worked for 18 years so far for me, but if that's good enough for you, save your money from this book and spend it on fun for the two of you!
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