Customer Reviews

Fascinating Womanhood

5 star:		(85)
4 star:		(27)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(70)

 

 

I am a 26 year old woman who has been married for 8 years. My sister recommended this book to me and I have to say that I was absolutely engrossed in what it had to say. You can say that this book teaches ignorance or racism or sexist remarks, but it does nothing of the sort. You have to read this with an open mind. This book explains men inside and out. Every test that this author mentions, worked like a charm each and every time. I have saved my husband and I many many arguments by being able to understand how he feels. Men are just as complex as women and understanding men is simply a gift. This book tells women to love honor and cherish their husbands. Is it not true that women want the same thing. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "what goes around comes around." That's what this book is about. Treat your man with respect and honor and he will return the feeling with an honest heart. That's all there is to it.

It tells me why my husband says and does the things that he does and helps me to help him. Women want to be treated with respect and honor and dignity and this book shows you how to achieve this on a kind and honorable level. It is not a book about being a doormat and it does not say that you have to give sex on demand as one of the reviewers mentioned. It simply says that when we are kind and loving to others, they will be kind and loving to us.

The only thing I found difficult was the part about not being employed. I agree that there is no more noble a career than being a homemaker, but in todays expensive world, there are often times, no way around it and if you're going to have to work, it might as well be something that you enjoy and if you have to go to school for that then so be it. This book does NOT say to train your daughters to not think for themselves, it simply tells you to teach them the beauty in domestication and femininity.

This book made me feel proud to be a woman and helped me understand the importance of my role in my family and in society. This book teaches that women have the power and gift to make a happy home and raise God fearing, respectible girls and boys.

Take pride in your femeninity and love unselfishly.

I first read this book after hearing my sister-in-law talk about it. I am very happy in my marriage and realized that I unknowingly was living many of the principles the author talks about. It should not take the place of the Bible, but I think it could be very helpful to those struggling in marriage.

I don't think the author's intent was to devalue women or men in any way. I think her intent was to help women see what ways they can change themselves to help their marriage change. So many people are getting divorced these days and seem to always blame the other person for the problems. Andelin wrote this book hoping to inspire women to do their part. Her husband wrote a book to the men inspiring them to do their part. Wise persons know that if you want to change your partner you change yourself. Of course you can't MAKE someone change, but by changing yourself you INVITE the other person to change. You become a better person in the process. Andelin is helping women do that.

As I read the book I have started applying more things into my marriage, not to manipulate my husband but to help him feel good. I didn't realize in the past how he felt when I said certain things. This book helped me understand him better and show him love in the ways in understands. It has worked wonderfully. He is very respectful of me and treats me wonderfully. This book has helped us to make our marriage even better.

I have read many of the reviews for this book and am wondering if all the reviewers have read the same book? My mom read this book and attended a class when my parents marriage was rocky. It really made an amazing transformation in their lives! So, I read it. Don't get me wrong, I threw it a few times, but then I started seeing the forest beyond the trees and much of what she says is right on the mark. She insists on being sincere and not using these prinicples for manipulation. I have read the book several times, in fact, and don't see doormat anywhere. I do think that the book needs some updating and condensing, especially the lanuage used.

Many of the reviews remind me of conversations with people following Atkins and eating only meat. They glossed over the "eat vegetables" part.

What is so bad about accepting your husband as he is, appreciating him and admiring him? What is so bad about acting feminine? What is so bad about taking some responibility for your own actions and giving him the freedom to take responsibility for his.

This book has a lot of important principles in it. Read it with an open mind, sincerity and love.

Personally, I love it. I am married to my best friend who doesn't care that I am not "Martha Stewart" or June Cleaver. But lets be honest ladies...sauciness beats nagginess any day of the week. There is a time and a place for complaints...I sliced off a star, because I do feel that women should be encouraged to talk to their husbands about any thing under the sun...but really, I have overheard women barking at their husbands in public (and vice versa.)How unnecessary is that? For me,the techniques in this book (however antiquated in their explaination)are a KEY. NOT A KEY TO MANIPULATION, BUT A KEY TO CONSIDERATION! A reminder to be nice, and try to look my best for the guy I dolled up for while we were engaged. (How many people let themselves go to pot after the marraige is solemnized?? Quite a few.) One should not expect this to be a perfect read...but the harsh critics are just that, harsh critics. The rest of us a reaping the benefits of improved relationships by taking and utilizing the good for our good.

This book is fascinating (pun intended). Reviews of it -- including those on this web page -- are mixed and often passionate for good reason. The ideas are as explosive today as they were when the book was first published.
Like any text, your reaction to this book will depend upon how you read it. It can be a joyful revelation, or a goad that drives you to fury, or a hilarious view into an antiquated perspective on gender relationships. Does this book suggest that a wife should put a bow in her hair and lisp praises for her husband's awesome strength and capability? Yes. Does it claim that doing so will improve her marriage? Yes. Can such techniques work in the long run? The jury still seems to be out on that.
Manipulation in any relationship is deadly. But sincerely doing things that encourage others to be the best they can be is good from both a secular and a Christian perspective. It builds good mental health. Assuming that our gender makes us prefer certain kinds of behavior both in ourselves and in our mates, and that our ability to meet our own ideals of our gender affects our general happiness and self-esteem, it seems that giving and receiving gender-oriented encouragement is not a bad idea.

I have never found a book that so clearly explained how I can cause my husband to feel good about himself as a man. I appreciate that. I look at this book not as a prescription for living -- which is how the author intended it, without question --- but as a sort of cook-book, full of good things to try. Or perhaps as a tool-kit to draw from to smooth over some rough times and make the good times more fun. Taken that way, I think _Fascinating Womanhood_ is a work of genius. It is jam-packed with things to try. At the very least you will learn a great deal about yourself and about your husband as you experiment with behavior and responses.
If a long, interesting and ever-growing marriage is your goal, then read this book. It is bound to give you ideas to work with for many years to come.

Today's my 18th wedding anniversary, and if I had followed most of this book's recommendations, my husband would have had me committed long ago! Installing the cupholder upside-down to prove my need for his masterful help?! Even with his degree in Industrial Design, he wouldn't be flattered...he'd just be wondering why he'd been foolish enough to marry a dingbat, to force his children to be raised by a dingbat mother in these threatening times when one needs to have one's maximum wits available in case of impending terror or crime! This author must have missed the passage in the Old Testament describing the woman of valor whose value is above rubies! That biblical woman was a terrific manager, she bought and sold property and farm goods, she was very skilled, wise and strong. I can't think of a single Biblical woman who benefited herself or her family or her people by acting childish and dumb. Do you think Sarah or Ruth or Esther or Mary were talking babytalk to their spouses? come on! It is possible to have humility AND dignity AND wisdom AND strength, to offer the full measure of your intelligence and capability to your husband and life-mate, instead of minimizing yourself because you think he is not man enough for his ego to be able to stand strong in comparison. Why not offer 100% of your gifts rather than insulting him by acting like a half-wit (implying he must be only a slightly-more-than-half-wit, dumb enough to be threatened by 100% of you?) How to have a happy marriage? Just love, love love your spouse, listen to him, respect him, enjoy him, laugh with him, know him, be patient with him and keep joy and laughter in your home. Honor and love yourself and your strengths and your flaws, and share your gladness with Heaven and Earth. It's only worked for 18 years so far for me, but if that's good enough for you, save your money from this book and spend it on fun for the two of you!

I got this book before I was even married and for more than 20 years consistently, honestly and thoroughly followed it. It was right there next to my Bible, till it became part of who I was. I found that my husband,"ate it up". He continued to take and take and I continued to give and give. Now I have NOTHING left to give. Yes, I'm still married, but I have no hope and no desire that it will ever be more than it is now. I staked my life on this book. "If you follow these principles, he can't help but to love you." It just didn't work for me.

My husband and I have a great relationship and he openly says there's no way he'd be interested in someone who had to follow these horrific rules in order to "manage" him. What is good about a relationship where you have to act like someone else to make him happy?! That should scare the crap out of you. Get out of the relationship or don't get into one until you know what you want. Horrific--though it would be "fascinating" for a psychological study of the nutty.

Helen Andelin has certainly "won" her share of criticism from the feminists for her completely politically incorrect book! And while I do not agree with all of her points (particularly the "childlike anger" section), I find most of her advice fun, practical, whimsical and helpful. Andelin sounds a clarion call for women to be women -- and to enjoy every minute of being the "weaker sex." Why go through life trying to be just like a man when you can enjoy the benefits of chivalry and gentility by acting like a lady? And being a lady in Andelin's book doesn't mean being a dummy, either (Andelin's critics just haven't read enough of the book to get this message loud and clear). Andelin encourages a broad, deep liberal arts education and a wide knowledge of all things worthy and good in the world to make a woman intelligent, interesting, and, yes, "fascinating." From the down-to-earth tips on personal beauty and dress to the more philosophical chapters on respecting men and learning to be feminine from the inside out, _Fascinating Womanhood_ is a super read and something worth pondering.

In this book Helen Andelin presents her philosophy of how a wife should behave towards her husband.

I knew that Mrs Andelin and I could never be soul-mates when she tells us that the ideal woman should be a blend of Agnes Wickfield and Dora from 'David Copperfield'. Great. The two women she wants me to emulate are the two who of all the women in English literature I despise the most.

Her view of relations between husband and wife are rigid and uncompromising. If you are to make your husband happy you must be admiring, adoring, hang on his every word, put him first always, be obedient, sweet, girlish, childlike, a Domestic Goddess,never ever work outside the home, and do not let him have too much sex. And, above all, you must not kill your own snakes. Snakes feature prominently in this book, not killing them is avery important part of being a Fascinating Woman. women who kill their own snakes are not fascinating, and that's that.

Now, I have a husband who is terrified of snakes, and if we lived in a country that was troubled by them it would be a major asset in his eyes if I was capable of killing them. I therefore do not think you can generalise that snake-killing women are necessarily undesirable to all men. He finds it very useful that I am not afraid of spiders (he hates them) and can get them out of the bath for him. Fascinating women, naturally, are supposed to be afraid of spiders.

Sometimes Mrs Andelin is strangely unobservant. For instance, she quotes Proverbs Chapter 31 as a description of the perfect wife. yet the wife in Proverbs is not childlike, and she is a businesswoman as well as a homemaker, something Mrs Andelin is dead against. Mrs Andelin doesn't seem to have noticed this.

The book is full of glowing testimonials by women who have put the principles outlined in this book into practice and found it makes them happier. Good for them. However, if like me, you are a woman who is constitutionally incapable of being a combination of Agnes Wickfiled and Dora, you may take comfort from the thought that not all men require women to behave like this. Some men do prefer women who behave naturally instead of putting on an act all the time. And some men like women who can kill snakes.