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Fat Assassins (The Fat Adventure Series) [Kindle Edition]

Marita Fowler
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $7.99
Kindle Price: $0.99
You Save: $7.00 (88%)

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Kindle Edition $0.99  
Paperback $7.19  
Audible Audio Edition, Unabridged $17.95 or Free with Audible 30-day free trial
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Book Description

"This book brings life to it's reader in a technicolor clarity, allowing them to experience the full rainbow of the emotional spectrum within its pages." WTFareyoureading Blog.

"Perhaps it is my fondness for all things southern that led me to be completely in love with this book after having read only about 6 pages. " Books Devoured Blog

*****
Southern style sweet potatoes Shasta and Ulyssa have stuck together through thick and thin since their escape from third grade fat camp. But on one dark day, they both find themselves unemployed.

A hazardous job hunt sees them turn down egg harvesting, drug dealing and phone sex before they settle for an exterminator job. 

Confusing mafia lingo leaves the girls thinking they’re being interviewed to cope with a rodent infestation. Confident that they can handle the job, they oversell their skills and demand half the payment up front to seal the deal. Skeptical at first, the mob boss decides to hire this unlikely pair when he mistakes their attitude for professional stoicism.

The girls are shocked when presented with a target profile and an envelope full of cash. They want out, but it’s too late.

The mob doesn’t allow do-overs. And certainly not when they’re whacking one of their own.


The clock is ticking and when the body count is still zero after multiple attempts, the boss decides to bring in additional assassins to finish the job and tie up loose ends.

And the girls just happen to be one of those loose ends.


Product Details

  • File Size: 734 KB
  • Print Length: 307 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0984890203
  • Publisher: Scuttlebutt Press (December 3, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006HWFA8W
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #364,289 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud January 9, 2012
Format:Paperback
This book was laugh out loud fuuny. Each character is full of life and has some witty comment to make. :) Loved reading it, could not put it down actually finished it in a day. Very easy read I have two little kids which equals a lot of interruptions and I was able to jumo in and out without losing the storyline. Fun read and a great escape when you want a laugh and a break from reality...Recommend to ALL :)
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This Author was brilliant to send us on a comical Journey along with 2 Beautiful, thick, southern fried woman! Great job at keeping me in suspence and giggling! ! I CANT WAIT for FAT BODYGUARDS!!!!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Rednecks and own it! April 30, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I can understand other reviewers who couldn't get into this book, it certainly isn't grand literature. It's silly and outrageous; one needs to be in the right mood to get on this ride. I was in such a mood and had a good time.

Shasta and Ulyssa are charming and endearing southern gals who have a knack for getting themselves into one outlandish predicament after another. The girls are surrounded by a cast of quirky friends and family who plod along in life as best they can with the resources they have in a small West Virginia town. Nonetheless, this apparently unexceptional southern setting stops none of them from getting into almost daily mischief that has become somewhat normal to them all.

Another source of the book's comedy is the occasional good natured, tongue-in-cheek references to redneck stereotypes. For instance, as the girls are about to involve a cousin in one of their less than legitimate plans, they make him take a hillbilly oath of silence which includes a list of 3-4 punishments should he betray his oath. It is only at the prospect of having to place democrat favorable signage on his front lawn does the cousin take a moment's pause.

Despite the book's intentional whimsicality, its main weakness is the occasional awkwardly implausible setup for the following chain of events. ie: a mobster places a job offer advertisement on Craigslist for a hit-man masked in coded pest control language (oh really?). Unemployed Shasta and Ullysa respond to the ad, never questioning why someone wouldn't simply call a pest control service (the girls are usually much sharper than that!).
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just Plain Fun! December 30, 2011
Format:Paperback
I have to admit I am not a big reader of fiction. But, this book has changed my mind. Once, I started reading, it was hard to put it down ... what was going to happen next. Shasta & Ulysses are fabulous characters, and this was just plain fun to read. The intriguing ending has me anxiously waiting for the next book in the series - Fat Body Guards.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny May 19, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I loved this book. I laughed so hard I cried. Reading it at work, people were staring at me like I was nuts. Great stress management. Can't wait for the next one.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fat, Fabulous and Funny!! May 11, 2012
By Amazin
Format:Kindle Edition
The ineptness of this duo was a riot!!! The more they bungled the funnier they became. The small town of Nitro was truly filled with great characters. How can you not like a place with a beauty shop named Best Little Hair House? I liked this book and am looking forward to the next episode with these two Fat girls!!!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars High Marks for a First Book in Series April 25, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Know going in that this is a first book in a series, so don't have the highest of expectations when you start reading this book and you will probably like it. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised and thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

I feel that the character development was kind of slow, but given the fact that the girls had to be forced into losing their jobs in order to become "assassins"', it kind of logically follows that this was the way the character development had to happen.

My only real issue with the book was that the arguments for why the girls should not really have been fired in the real world would have held up easily in a real court of law. One can see that a slim amount of thought was put into the reasons that the girls were fired by the author. I agree that the girls needed to lose their jobs in order to create the reasons why they eventually move into their new careers, I am just saying that more thought should have been put into it.

Having said that, one of the reasons I really liked the book was the comical interactions that the ladies have with the locals when trying to equip themselves for work. In almost every case, they end up in some situation that seems to be lifted from a Three Stooges kind of moment. As a normal American male, I must say that I truly enjoyed these antics.

For women who are concerned about romantic elements, don't worry - one of the ladies gets involved with two different men. They even have a 'karaoke song battle' over her at one point. The back and forth emotional table tennis volleying that is typical of a romance book is right there. And in the end, things are still hanging in the air with regard to these guys and will segue nicely into the promised sequel.

So, even though there is a romance element in this book, I have to say this is a very enjoyable comic read and heartily give it a good recommendation for everyone to read it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Love it! April 10, 2012
By Becca
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Only time I was ever tempted to give 5 stars! I was laughing all through the book, it had a plot, well developed characters, and a wonderful ending. I cannot wait for the next book!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars loved it!!!
This book was a great humorous mystery!!! Loved the characters and the outrageous situations they would get themselves into.... Now on to the next "Fat" book!
Published 6 months ago by Tina Mitchell
5.0 out of 5 stars A funny and entertaining read
As a southerner with my fair share of colorful distantly related family members, I found many of the unlikely escapades based on highly likely actions. Read more
Published 12 months ago by M. Tolliver
2.0 out of 5 stars English Language
The story line is interesting and the girls are lovable... however the number of times the wrong version of you're/your is used in this book digusts me.
Published 15 months ago by Kate Garth
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and couldn't put down!
Fat Assassins had the makings of a awesomely funny book form beginning to end! Marita Fowler does a great job of making Ulyssa and Shasta to lovable characters who find them self... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars True to country life
I got this ebook when it was free. Boy, did I get a bargain!! What a great book! I laughed so hard, I woke up my husband! I can see myself and people I know in the characters. Read more
Published 17 months ago by E. Taylor
4.0 out of 5 stars fun read
It was a fun read. Interesting storyline. The characters were relatable as well as the southern town. I thought some of my relatives could have been in there. Read more
Published 17 months ago by road warrior
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny working class adventure
I was completely surprised by how much I loved this fun little book. It was totally refreshing and original: sassy, working class, unapologetic and a real. Read more
Published 19 months ago by wellreadwoman
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny (and unrealistic) with some errors
Funny book with fairly entertaining characters. There's quite a few of them so try to make sure you remember who's who and how each of them are related! Read more
Published 19 months ago by Catherine T.
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny escape lit
This book was a funny story that keeps going from one madcap scene to the next. If you just put aside your judgement and go with it it is good light reading.
Published 19 months ago by Maggie
5.0 out of 5 stars A lotta fun
Just simply a fun and easy read, it's just a pleasure from start to finish. Very much looking forward to the next book in the series.
Published 21 months ago by attamans
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More About the Author

Marita Fowler began her literary career writing a comedic action series, titled THE FAT ADVENTURE SERIES. She grew up in rural Tennessee and drew from her small town upbringing to craft FAT ASSASSINS and FAT BODYGUARDS. However, she has recently tapped into her darker muse and released the first book (titled ADDERWALD) in the ANAGENESIS SERIES - a steampunk, post-apocalyptic, zombie series.

You can read more about Marita and her series at http://www.maritafowler.com. She loves to hear from readers and you can reach her from her website or Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fat-Assassins/222813677789949).

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