Customer Reviews

The Fat Spy

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

Describing this movie is like describing the love of a child or incense smoke rising, but I will do my best. The Fat Spy is a story as old as time itself, the ongoing search for the Fountain of Youth. Only this time our heroes discover that the Fountain is not actually a fountain of water, but two black twin roses growing from the same stem.

Well I'm sure everyone buys or sees this movie for one reason, Jayne Mansfield, so let's talk about her. I've never seen her as heavy as she did in this movie. Granted she is still beautiful and stunning, but the hourglass figure is gone as she is a bit thick in the middle. By modern spaghetti-thin model standards, she could even be described as fat, but to me who can appreciate a fine woman, she looked great. One scene has her wrapped in only what can be described as the happiest towel in Hollywood. You get some great cleavage and chest shots as she dries herself. She also sings a number to her love interest `Irving'. Unfortunately, this film will not cement Jayne's acting abilities for immortality. Let's face it, she was what she was. A great body and a rival (ha ha) to Marilyn Monroe. Jayne seems to go out of her way to act just like her with the dreamy, whispery voice and dumb blonde routine that Marilyn found inescapable as her career went on. In one scene where Jayne is tied to an AC unit she screams for help. She suddenly pauses and turns to the camera and pathetically starts doing the Marilyn pout and blowing kisses.

This film which was probably filmed on a budget that couldn't drive a car across the country was shot on a lake which was supposed to be a beach. This film is actually a musical and any excuse possible is used to throw in bad singing and worse dancing. Take for instance the song sang before the opening credits even start. "When people got money, they sure act funny". One scene has the teenage group on the beach deciding they need to go to Cape Coral after `discovering' a sign posted by a Florida Tourist attraction. All the girls swim out to the boat to start it up, while the guys all make their way to the dock, where quite handily, drums and guitars are found. They sing a number while waiting for the girls to pull up with the boat. Another song is sung by Phyllis Diller. She mostly talks words to music rather than singing, so there is some mercy here. However the drop on the floor and laugh until you cry scene is the `Everybody do the Turtle' song. The song is so terrible, it will linger in your head for days.

There are some loose ends that don't quite tie up as the movie ends. One kid goes fishing in a rubber raft (he sings a song while fishing of course), and catches a mermaid. Well after going back to shore he decides he loves her and wants to go find her. He starts moping around and the last mention of him is his clothes are found on the shore. Reckon he swam out naked to find his love.

The film quality is terrible, even on DVD. The picture is grainy and the sound is horrible. At times you can't hear the lines because the surf is too loud. Then there are the cartoon balloons that try to move the movie along and attempt to assist the viewer in the progress of the film. Just before the ending credits there were promises of upcoming movies: The Return of Fat Spy, Bride of Fat Spy, and Son of Fat Spy. I'm still looking, but haven't found them yet.

All in all this movie rules. My wife's quote "Oh you owe me big for making me sit through this."

Describing this movie is like describing the love of a child or incense smoke rising, but I will do my best. The Fat Spy is a story as old as time itself, the ongoing search for the Fountain of Youth. Only this time our heroes discover that the Fountain is not actually a fountain of water, but two black twin roses growing from the same stem.

Well I'm sure everyone buys or sees this movie for one reason, Jayne Mansfield, so let's talk about her. I've never seen her as heavy as she did in this movie. Granted she is still beautiful and stunning, but the hourglass figure is gone as she is a bit thick in the middle. By modern spaghetti-thin model standards, she could even be described as fat, but to me who can appreciate a fine woman, she looked great. One scene has her wrapped in only what can be described as the happiest towel in Hollywood. You get some great cleavage and chest shots as she dries herself. She also sings a number to her love interest 'Irving'. Unfortunately, this film will not cement Jayne's acting abilities for immortality. Let's face it, she was what she was. A great body and a rival (ha ha) to Marilyn Monroe. Jayne seems to go out of her way to act just like her with the dreamy, whispery voice and dumb blonde routine that Marilyn found inescapable as her career went on. In one scene where Jayne is tied to an AC unit she screams for help. She suddenly pauses and turns to the camera and pathetically starts doing the Marilyn pout and blowing kisses.

This film which was probably filmed on a budget that couldn't drive a car across the country was shot on a lake which was supposed to be a beach. This film is actually a musical and any excuse possible is used to throw in bad singing and worse dancing. Take for instance the song sang before the opening credits even start. "When people got money, they sure act funny". One scene has the teenage group on the beach deciding they need to go to Cape Coral after 'discovering' a sign posted by a Florida Tourist attraction. All the girls swim out to the boat to start it up, while the guys all make their way to the dock, where quite handily, drums and guitars are found. They sing a number while waiting for the girls to pull up with the boat. Another song is sung by Phyllis Diller. She mostly talks words to music rather than singing, so there is some mercy here. However the drop on the floor and laugh until you cry scene is the 'Everybody do the Turtle' song. The song is so terrible, it will linger in your head for days.

There are some loose ends that don't quite tie up as the movie ends. One kid goes fishing in a rubber raft (he sings a song while fishing of course), and catches a mermaid. Well after going back to shore he decides he loves her and wants to go find her. He starts moping around and the last mention of him is his clothes are found on the shore. Reckon he swam out naked to find his love.

The film quality is terrible, even on DVD. The picture is grainy and the sound is horrible. At times you can't hear the lines because the surf is too loud. Then there are the cartoon balloons that try to move the movie along and attempt to assist the viewer in the progress of the film. Just before the ending credits there were promises of upcoming movies: The Return of Fat Spy, Bride of Fat Spy, and Son of Fat Spy. I'm still looking, but haven't found them yet.

When I bought this movie I thought "God: all the reviews are talking about a boring and absolutely unbearable movie"
Yet I bought it ...only because of Jayne (and because of a low price)
Script is for kids and boring, picture is not good, looks like a typical so-low-budget film.
But Jayne left us when she was so young that I enjoy each opportunity to see her (no matter the quality)
...And since there is now the fashion for kitsch campy films which are becoming hip when you watch them with friends and nibbles...
Less dangerous than bloody violent movies.
so watch it and forget it
and anyway better for Mansfield enthusiasts!
NB ; look at that beautiful other girl running on the beach with long dark hair, terrific figure and cute face (she doesn't speak but runs and dances all the time): she's actress Linda Hamilton who played Nova in the 1968 version of "Planete of the Apes"

It's funny that American-International is commonly thought of as the low-budget, bottom of the barrel studio of the '60s, when watching something like "The Fat Spy" immediately proves that A.I.P.'s movies were the archetype or model for any number of obscure regional productions like this one. The thing is - the Texas or Florida knockoffs have an entirely different and much better feel to them.

"The Fat Spy" takes the "Beach Party" model of healthy, squeaky-clean All-American teens and populates its landscape with raggedy, locally-recruited Florida kids. Hardly "Annette" caliber, they sport excessive tattoos, withering bouffants, dribbling cat-eye makeup and all seem to smoke incessantly. Instead of frolicking on the blue Pacific beaches, they gently tread on the seaweedy, brown water shores of Cape Coral, Florida, which is actually on the Caloosahatchee RIVER. Why they didn't just drive another 30 miles to Ft. Myers or Sanibel Island is beyond me. It's fun for people familiar with this area to see it before it devolved into another strip-mall wasteland.

The plot is totally incomprehensible. I've watched it three times and have no idea what is happening. The songs are earache-inducingly bad. But it is incredibly hypnotic, with the aforementioned oddball locations and a cast (Mansfield, Diller) who are already a bit surreal-looking to begin with. Points especially to Jayne who ticked off "beach party" in her expanding list of exploitation genres during this period, including countryploitation (Las Vegas Hillbillies), sword-and-sandal (The Loves of Hercules), mondo movies (Primitive Love), and finally her post-mortem JAYNEploitation (Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield). Too bad she never did a straight-up horror movie.

As for the DVD - big points off for the cruddy packaging, featuring misspelled names of both Diller and Jack Leonard on the cover (!) and an unrelated photo of Jayne which was easily taken ten years before this movie was made. No extras and a sub-par full-frame mastering with lots of artifacting, although it is easily better than VHS copies. At least it is bargain-priced.

This movie is just plain awful.The combination of Jayne Mansfield, Phyllis Diller,a low budget,and rock and roll beach parties sounded like a sure bet.Instead,it's a real loser. The film is so self consciously "hip" that it ends up being entirely devoid of humor.There are zero laughs,intentional or otherwise.This is most definitly NOT some under appreciated "camp classic" If I made this film, I would disown it too.(Amazon needs to add a zero stars option)

Unbelievable bad movie. However, movie is so unintentionally funny it is a must for people to see. The funniest member of the cast is not Jack Leonard, Jayne Mansfield or Phyllis Diller but Lauree Berger as one of the miscast teenagers with her awful singing and smerky dancing. Jayne Mansfield is cute as a modern day Daisy Mae trying to get Jack Leonard to marry her. Phyllis Diller is also amusing as Camille Salamander. Jack Leonard does well in dual roles. So, if you appreciate bad movies then see this one. Everyone do the Turtle.

I bought this for $3.00 at a drug store here in Chicago. Basically, I bought it because it had Jayne Mansfield and Phyllis Diller. I did enjoy the singing and dance numbers even if a few of the songs were just plain bad! The kids looked great and appeared to be having a fun time. It's just 78 min. of one vignette type of scene after another.
It did do something positive for me, that is, it helped me fall asleep nocturnal creature that I am. If you like odd beach party flicks, but not the Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello franchise this movie is for you. This had a hint of John Water's brand of wry humor but more of an innocent vain; as I am a major John Waters fan- and Russ Meyer too!

Julius-Allan Hernandez
Chicago,Il.

Oh lord, what was I thinking when I bought this movie!
Oh yes, any movie with Jayne Mansfield must be worth watching, it can't be that bad. Well, a year ago I bought all the dvds available on amazon.com with her. I have just watched this.
3 years ago I bought the "Promises, Promises" video and loathed it. Now if I try to remember it, I see flashes of good looking Jayne. Well you know how it goes, time makes all things look better. It even makes you think a stinker like that wasn't so bad.
Well and here comes "The Fat Spy". Can't be that bad I thought. I opens with 2 guys singing a catchy song, which still turns in my head. Then you see a company boss who is giving orders to her daughter, played by Jayne Mansfield. He is sitting at his desk watching towards the camera, as if his interlocutor is on the other side of the desk. But Jayne is standing right beside him.
Is someone not shown in the picture? Was this filmed in Cinerama (R) and he's been cut-off? Or is it just the movie was filmed? Some madcap trick? A way to spare money because they only had one camera and having the actors speak lines while standing next to each other would solve the problem? Seems like it.
Then cut to a bunch of youngsters driving a boat to an island. The plot is unintelligible as the scenes seem to be trown in the movie like that. They start singing and dancing like in a beach movie. Some awkward dances, balloons explaining what's happening. The scene where at the end the girls get into the boat while the guys walk on the pier and start singing, well, I thought that it was the girls turn to get wet and pick up the boys, who stay dry this way. Some singing solo, the most awful one being by the girl in blue bikini, especially her dance movies while singing LOL. Horrible, just horrible.
Jayne Mansfield sports an awful hairstyle (if you can call it that), she lives up to her reputation as just trying to act like MM, and there is not one other actor that can be called one here.
The only redeemable parts are when JM flies to the island, because she acts silly and looks great with helmets (really) and when she holds her boyfriend at gunpoint.
Phyllis Diller, well, she must be worst of the lot here. I love her but here, oh well, she just plain sucks. Her name is funny though (Camille Salamandre). She looks so weird, why does she always have frizzy hair and wears make up only on her upper eyelids??
To tell the truth, I was bored out of my mind, couldn't wait to get it over with, and, counting on the movie ending at 75min as the cover says, I checked my dvd player and it said there were other 6 minutes of it. I thought I was gonna die!!!
JM completist will have to see it to understand how bad it is, nothing could stop them.

Being in the movie industry, I can assure you, I forced myself to watch it until the end to understand how bad a movie could be as this one is best example!
this is a boring, stupid and pointless... sorry I can't call it a movie as it would be an insult to the real ones! Jayne Mansfield... why the hell she accepted to be in it??? was she so desesperate to get some money? Oh well I guess this movie is certainly the worst movie ever so if you want to know what's a bad movie, watch it, seriously...

I purchased this movie without reading the reviews, based only on my fondness for older movies and the other movies I've seen the two main stars in. This movie was awful, and the sad part is, there were sooooo many opportunities to save the movie all throughout. The acting was obviously overdone on purpose, I just wish I knew why - it didn't come off as funny or as a satire if that was the intent. In the end - I threw out the DVD so as not to accidently subject someone else to it.