Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story [Hardcover]

Adam Rex (Author)

Book Description

Release date: July 27, 2010

Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .

Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best Books of the Month, July 2010: Both fans and foes of the ever-expanding genre of vampire novels will get sucked into this hysterical send-up of those angst-filled, vampire-meets-girl high school dramas. Doug "Meatball" Lee is no Edward, he's just a 15-year-old dork trying to land a date with a real live girl, any girl. But when you're a weight-challenged, newbie vampire, finding a Bella to call your very own presents some real challenges. The multi-talented author Adam Rex uses offbeat humor and outrageous scenarios to position this underdog for paranormal greatness. --Lauren Nemroff

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From School Library Journal

Grade 10 Up Unlike most vampires who are drop-dead gorgeous, sexy, and irresistible, Doug is the exact opposite. Overweight, unpopular, and dorky, he seals his fate by being in the wrong place at the wrong time and as a result was attacked by a starving, newly made vampire. Now he must spend the rest of his immortal life as an unattractive 15-year-old, feeding off cows to satisfy his need for blood. With the support of some local vampire guardians and his friend Jay, the teen must now learn how to live life as a vampire. If events aren't complicated enough, he falls for the new girl at school, and has the star of the TV show Vampire Hunters hot on his trail, trying to expose him to the world. Rex's story falls flat. The back-and-forth narration between Doug and Sejal is confusing and slows down the plot. There are some promising moments, funny scenes, and intriguing themes that unfortunately just don't pan out. Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY
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Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Balzer + Bray; 1 edition (July 27, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061920908
• ISBN-13: 978-0061920905
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #521,956 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Adam Rex grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, the middle of three children. He now lives in Tucson with his physicist wife Marie.
His picture book FRANKENSTEIN MAKES A SANDWICH, a collection of stories about monsters and their problems, was a New York Times Bestseller. 2007 saw the release of his first novel, THE TRUE MEANING OF SMEKDAY.
Garlic and crosses are useless against Adam. Sunlight has been shown to be at least moderately effective. A silver bullet does the trick. Pretty much any bullet, really.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 37 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Reading with Tequila July 27, 2010

By Jennifer Sicurella VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

It was refreshing to read about a vampire that wasn't physically perfect. All too often, the people who are turned into vampires already possess unearthly beauty. The only outside flaws they exhibit result from some horrific torture years after becoming vampires. In Fat Vampire, Doug is an outcast, overweight teen. When he is turned, nothing changes. He faces being unattractive forever. Seeing a vampire character deal with this type of reality was definitely intriguing.

Unfortunately, Doug has a very repellent personality. He's extremely hard to care about. At first he seems too nice to be able to survive as a vampire, but slightly farther into the book we see that the niceness is a front for his insecurity. As he becomes more self-confident, he becomes more on an obnoxious, self-important jerk.

Senjal, an exchange student that Doug finds himself attracted to, has the Google - something like an addiction to the internet. A vampire hunter reality TV show starts hunting Doug. He's let into San Diego Comic-Con early because the sunlight is making him sick, which is taken as a normal occurrence because the security people believe anyone who would attend Comic-Con would be sickly and not go out in the daylight much. Many small but wonderfully quirky little ideas helped the book along.

I truly wanted to love Fat Vampire. I love the cover, I love the premise and the writing was very good. The book just didn't work for me. Nothing clicked. I could not care what happened to any of the characters in the book. Doug was so deeply unlikeable that the character himself brought the rest of the book down for me.

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Flat out hilarious August 6, 2010

By J. Prather TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

With Fat Vampire, Adam Rex has created a novel that sends up everything from reality tv, the internet, high school, geeks, pop culture, east west relations, oh and of course...vampires. Did I also mention that this book is laugh out loud funny? I've read plenty of books that made me smirk, chuckle, or think "man, I want to remember that joke so I can use it later", but it's been quite some time since I read a book that made me laugh out loud in the waiting room at the doctor's office.

I thought Doug was a great character with an authentic teen voice. In the beginning of the book, his insecurity and sense of humour made him kind of endearing. His relationship with his best bud Jay was funny and only added to the book's charm. It made a great counterpoint to what happens later as Doug starts to lose himself to his vampire nature and Jay starts to discover himself apart from Doug.

All of the secondary characters are well developed as well, especially Sejal who is suffering from her own identity crisis. She suffers from the dreaded google affliction and recognizes in Doug a kindred spirit who is not kind, but who wants to be (if it just wasn't for that pesky vampire issue). This author has a great gift for dialogue that was on full display. The rapid fire back and forth between all of these characters was so entertaining it sometimes masked the fact that the story meanders quite a bit, especially in the middle.

While the story never reaches the point of being compelling, I still give it 5 stars because it was just so entertaining. The humour reminded me a bit of Libba Bray's recent Going Bovine and I think they will find some of the same fans. The ending was unique and unexpected and though I think it will annoy some people, I thought it was brilliant. This is one for older teens due to quite a bit of language and the fact that Doug and Jay talk and think about sex a lot. Recommended for teens and adults eager for a new take on the whole vampire mythology.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Such high hopes... March 22, 2011

By Sarah S.

Format:Hardcover

Like many others that gave this a poor review, I felt that this book had AMAZING potential. I've been to SDCC, I know members of the 501st, and like many girls in their teens to twenties, I've read the Twilight series and have a love/hate relationship with it.

I picked this book up at a used bookstore. I read the first half in one sitting and thought it was going great. The second half of the book felt so rushed, like an editor had slashed 200+ pages out and rewritten the end for the author of the first half without ever speaking. The final few chapters had me asking what the heck was going on, and wondering if I'd missed a few pages. The motivations and emotions of the characters suddenly turned 180 degrees and random plot lines were started and ended without reason. Half-way into the book I also was questioning, like many others, the whole point of Senjal's character. Reading from her perspective was interesting, but in the end, I didn't like her or any of the other characters.

Also, starting the book with an ending death scene? Really? Maybe it's a play on Twilight, but Stephanie Meyer should not be anyone's writing inspiration.