Customer Reviews

Fat White Vampire Blues

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I've just finished this book, and it's a rip. It's neither as clumsily written as some of the other reviews would lead you to think (in passages, it amounts to an *hommage* to its acknowledged forebear, CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES, and sometimes rises to the same headlong style) nor the grave social screed other readers describe. (I often wonder when reading reviews: did we read the same book?)

Simply, it's one long misadventure, and like the larger-than-life Ignatius Reilly in DUNCES, Jules Duchon, obese vampire, is shoehorned out of a comfortable rut and confronted with one ghastly predicament after another. The stakes, you should pardon the expression, are life and death, and Fox manages to make the reader care what happens -- it's not just a comic diversion. But along the way, almost every cliche in vampire literature (and pulp thrillers generally) comes in for a spoof. If you transform into a mist, how exactly DO you cope with a stiff breeze? If you become a wolf, what are your feelings toward lady dogs? And if you're a vampire in overfed New Orleans, how the hell do you expect to end up looking like anyone but Paul Prudhomme? (Disappointed readers of the Yarbro Comte de Saint-Germain vampire series, which turned into a mass of repetitive and overwritten soft-pore corn, will especially appreciate the plus-size boff scenes. There are some things you should NOT pour in a vampire's hot tub!)After watching Anne Rice pull off one terrific novel and then grind out affectedly morbid, S&M-lite sequels on a lathe for years afterward, this was a long overdue guffaw.

What Fun!! A bumbling, insecure vampire with a conscience (or at least a semi-conscience) After Ann Rice vampire novels ad nausium I never wanted to hear the word "vampire" again.............but this is delightful, and funny, and imaginative! A wonderful tour through New Orleans neighborhoods,culture and food ("the neon sign across the street reflected in the layer of grease on her red beans") the tour guide being vampire Jules Duchon whom you can't help rooting for no matter how many victims he "fangs"........I can't wait to read "Bride of the Fat White Vampire" next, and hope there are more to come!...........Beryl Schindler

"Fat White Vampire Blues", the new novel by Andrew Fox, is probably
one of the strangest books you could read this year, as well as one of
the most enjoyable. It's mandatory viewing for any fan of the
vampire/horror genre in general, and a good dietary supplement for
those whose summer reading is seriously lacking in pulpy, off-beat fun.

The fat white vampire in question is one Jules Duchon, New Orleans
born, bred and undead. And his blues is this: too much good livin'.
Too many years of feeding off the fat-rich blood that the veins of the Big
Easy have to offer have taken their toll on poor Jules: he now weighs
in at a staggering 450 pounds, & is worried he's contracting vampire
diabetes. He's definitely not the man (thing? undead fiend?) he used
to be, but still, the scariest fate awaiting him is that of a low-fat
diet--until Malice X enters his (un)life. Malice is the street-smart,
upstart and decidedly buff black vampire that demands that Jules curb his
feeding habits to "whites only", or face the consequences. Those
consequences are what make up the bulk of our bulky anti-hero's
off-kilter journey of self-discovery and liberation--one that seems to
delight in shuckin' and jivin' the reader in all sorts of unlikely and
very rewarding directions.

Sure, this is Jules' story, but the real star of the show here is New Orleans
itself. Its' fading locales and details are lovingly evoked by Fox in all
their delicate, eccentric hot-house glory, and the rhythms of that town
define the novel's rhythms: it is at turns funky, obtuse, ornery and whimsical.
Jules can't bear to change his ways anymore than he can bear the thought of
leaving his home town--no matter what Malice X threatens. One of the bittersweet
notes this novel hits is not of Jules' battle with the new flashy hip-hop culture
Malice represents (as opposed to the old school French Quarter jazz Jules and Fox
obviously loves so much), but that of another, undefined vampiric source: the
strip-malling of America, the encroachment of redundancy, where local
names are replaced by brand names, and every place is the same, no
matter where you are. Through Jules' eyes, we see New Orleans slowly
falling victim to this self-replicating virus--its' individuality
wiped clean bit by bit, block by block. Jules is wiser than we are.
He knows a bled-dry victim when he sees one. We simply line up to become one.

Old Jules also represents a big, flaming loogie in the face of the whole Anne Rice aristocratic undead pantheon---Fox is practically shouting, "Hey, lady! Take a look at what a real New Orleans bloodsucker looks like!" Ms. Rice even appears as a background character of sorts, in the form of local horror writer Agatha Longrain (yuk-yuk!), whose unholy offspring are the
pasty-faced, Goth-dressing vampiric wanna-be's clogging up Decatur
Street, blocking the way between Jules and his next calorie-rich,
home-grown meal.

Another strand of New Orleans DNA deeply entwined in the proceedings here is that of native son John Kennedy Toole's great cult-novel, "A Confederacy of Dunces." Jules and Ignatius J. Reilly share many qualities: they are both
obese mammas-boys out to find their way in the world, prone to endearing
delusions of grandeur as well as epic bouts of self-loathing. They
both represent in their own overwrought ways the twins of inspiration and
sloth that live in all of us--and so we cheer them on even they disgust
us, as we laugh at their fantastically elaborate foibles. Because they
are us, fully dressed in all our glory and (very literal) dirty
laundry. He is heavy, yes, but he's still my brother.

In the end, "Fat White Vampire Blues" is that odd bedfellow who wears
its high and low culture roots proudly, and helps to blur the
distinction between the two. It revels in the bayou-like miasmic
paste of its varied inspirations (pulp fiction, horror movies and comic
books, etc.), while turning over that mulch to find surprising tweaks
and flashes of light in those very genre-specific constrictions. Who knew
that a vampire's ability to take the form of a bat or wolf was both
tied to cultural prejudices and Einstein's theories on "Conservation of
Mass"? Well, Mr. Fox knew, apparently, and he's more than happy to pass that information onto us. He's cooked up a spicy gumbo of a book whose racial politics and potty-humor might make you a bit queasy at times, but like any good Bourbon Street drunk, you're still left asking for more.

Jules Duchon is a New Orleans freelance cab driver and vampire. He drives a Cadillac, which comfortably accommodates his 450 pound bulk. For decades, Jules has been content to cruise the city, making meals of the occasional passenger or homeless person. Although often depressed and lonely, Jules consoles himself with pleasant memories and his collection of blues records and vintage pulp magazines.

Jules' peaceful existence comes to an end the night he is confronted by angry African American vampire Malice X, who issues him an ultimatum-limit his prey to the white population or suffer dire consequences. Unable to comply, Jules is eventually forced by X's minions to flee New Orleans. His comic adventures in exile and his defiant return to his hometown to confront his nemesis provide the backdrop for the remainder of the novel.

FAT WHITE VAMPIRE BLUES is hands down one of the funniest novels you'll ever read, deriving humor from its clueless protagonist, its colorful and varied supporting cast, and from the mores and attitudes of gaudy New Orleans culture. Fox has created the perfect comic character in Jules Duchon, whose sloth, prejudices, outmoded ideas, and general stupidity expose him to increasingly outrageous predicaments. Along the way, Fox wreaks havoc with the notion of vampires as sexy creatures of the night,portraying them as essentially human, limited by the emotions and worries we all face. Thus, instead of the smooth, confident Lestat, we have the inept, insecure Jules; instead of the frightening Claudia, we have the cross dressing Doodlebug. Where Rice's vampires are the masters of all they survey, Fox's have trouble mastering even their simplest of powers (Jules, for instance, cannot mesmerize his prey, he can only induce nausea.)

Seemingly deriving inspiration from novels as diverse as John Kennedy Toole's CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES, Anne Rice's INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, Michael Chabon's THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER & CLAY, Christopher Golden's OF SAINTS AND SHADOWS, Cervantes' DON QUIXOTE, FAT WHITE VAMPIRE BLUES offers laughs on every page, even in the midst of harrowing action. Despite the fact that much of the humor is admittedly lowbrow, and that Fox's narrative exhibits many of the flaws endemic to any first novel, FAT WHITE VAMPIRE BLUES is a comic gem, one of the most promising debuts in recent memory.

You know those very few books that stay with you? The ones that leave you with memories of things that never actually happened in your world? Fat White Vampire Blues is one of those rare finds. Jules is a character so rich and real (well, besides the fact that he's a vampire), that I can't shake the urge to put him on my Christmas list.

One of my favorite things about the way this book is written is that it doesn't play down to the reader, nor does it waste time with overdone formulas. Without giving away too much plot, I will just state that there were several instances where I found the book leading me out of my comfort zone in a refreshing way. When was the last time you were encouraged to view a 300+ pound woman as a desirable, sexy vixen? Well, that's just one of the things that this book is able to pull off.

Beyond the shock value, Fat White Vampire Blues will leave you with a taste of the real New Orleans, some whimsical fictitional memories, and a totally new perspective on life as a vampire.

Jules Duchon, native New Orleans vampire-a 450-lb, working class, underachiever-is not the kind of character that one might expect to like, to sympathize with, to agree with, to think of as moral, to think of as deep...but Andrew Fox makes the reader feel all of these things about Jules. When the book begins, Jules is a rather oafish, free-range type of vampire-one who hunts for victims on the street, rather than one who operates some sort of racket to receive blood. (Other vampires in the book have devised ingenious ways to receive easy, regular blood donations without hunting and killing victims.) Jules has been in a slump over the past decade-his world is changing; his neighborhood is going downhill; his favorite nostalgic places are disappearing; he has lost his convenient job with the coroner's office; and he has lost touch with his girlfriend. Jules does not seem to mind his existence, stagnant as it is. Then comes "Malice X," a truly evil, sharp-dressing, black vampire, who threatens Jules to stop preying on black victims, or else.... Jules' journey to claim his territory forces him to confront his (also morbidly obese) ex-girlfriend, Maureen, who seemingly detests him for his obesity and his lack of suavity; and his old vampiric side-kick, Duddlebug, estranged by Jules since becoming a cross-dresser. Jules also is forced to face his feelings about his childhood in the Catholic church, his own vampiric killing, his weight and obesity, his preconceived notions on homosexuals (cross dressers), and his true views on racism, while leading the reader through a lively and accurate description of the up and downsides of New Orleans. Jules is a character that grows (emotionally) and brings the reader along with him on his journey of self-exploration. All of the book's characters, both main and supporting, are completely engrossing and real. The dialogue rings true for each character, and dialects are accurate. The book is very fast moving and hard to put down, with each ingenious plot twist spelled out in believable ways, all based on strong foundations laid down from the beginning of the book. Fat White Vampire Blues reads like mainstream fiction, with lovable characters, believable plot twists, snappy dialogue, and tons of New Orleans lore. Although the lessons Jules learns are serious and the reader takes Jules seriously, lots of laughs are scattered throughout the book. Anyone who has spent time in New Orleans will marvel at the accurate portrayal of the City. Those who have not spent time there will be forced to wonder if such a dichotomy of a place could truly exist. (It does!) I would recommend this book to a wide range of readers, from those who like vampires, to Sci-Fi/fantasy/horror fans, to plot/action-oriented readers, to readers who read character based fiction. Fox's timing, plotting, and character development are flawless. I love this book.

Karen (the reviewer below) is RIGHT--lighten up!

This book is a hoot, with plenty of laugh-out-loud scenes. The author is endlessly creative while remaining true to the common vampire paradigm. The characters are interesting and the plot is weird enough to be engaging but doesn't leave any loose ends. It's steeped in New Orleans culture, the prose is solid, the dialogue is believable... It's hard to knock. It's exactly what it set out to be: a fairly light, broad spoof of Rice and the vampire genre in general.

Heck, I'd just spent weeks trying to read Blues with a Feeling, that textbook-awful Little Walter bio, and let me tell you that THIS was a breath of fresh air after that.

I'm stunned by the non-love for this book. What is it? The fact that the main character is not the gothic god-image of a vampire? That's he's really a Joe Average fellow who just happens to be immortal, a guy that cruises through life like a lot of people? Fox does a fine job of creating a new and interesting vampire, one without the rippling hair, 28" waist, and lordly accoutrements of those in the Rice universe or the "paranormal romance" genre. Jules Duchon is a believable fellow, one with cruddy luck (like a lot of us), a less-than-average body (ditto), and yet with the potential for turning around his life. While I thought this would be a good "stand-alone" novel, I admit that I'll be looking for the sequel.

Because of his nightly eating habits, Jules Duchon is very obese, weighing well over four hundred pounds. He knows he must cut out the fat rich blooded blacks that he enjoys because Jules concludes that over eight decades of this delicacy has led to his being one way overweight vampire needing to be on a strict low fat blood diet.

However, Jules has a new problem to face besides his weight problem as a black vampire has threatened him if he does not change diets to all white meat. Frightened Jules turns to the vampire that converted him, Maureen, also overweight, for help, as he cannot resist the call of fat laden blood.

FAT WHITE VAMPIRE BLUES is an amusing supernatural tale that pokes fun at the diet industry, race relations, and taking a bite out of the nosferatu legend. The story line never quite takes itself seriously even when it appears Jules might receive a stake through the heart yet still provides a strong message. However, the rich blood jokes do turn a bit stale after awhile, but readers who enjoyed Love at First Bite will want to read this humorous tale.

Harriet Klausner

A good novel can be read on more than one level and "Fat White Vampire Blues" is a good example of this. On one level, the novel is the humorous story Jules Duchon, the eponymous fat white vampire as he makes his way through the nightlife of New Orleans. This is a New Orleans that residents will recognize, not the Mardi Gras/swamp infested dreamland of movies.

On another level, it is the story of a white working class man dragged into this century's New South. After all, Jules is several generations removed from our current society norms. The insularity of New Orleans has allowed him to ignore the growing acceptance of Black and gay culture. He has "exceptions", friends and acquaintances, but his world has not forced him to confront their meaning in his life. The few months of this book compel him to reevaluate who his friends are and who can be trusted.