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The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced & Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict [Kindle Edition]

Shannon R. Rios MS LMFT
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.95
Kindle Price: $7.99
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Book Description

This book is a crucial resource for families that are divorced, separated, considering divorce and never married who want to raise the healthiest children possible. Written by a child of divorce and conflict who is now a therapist working in this field, this book is a must-read. It provides guidelines to allow coparents to create the best environment possible during family challenges. 

Inside you will find over 30 exercises and practical strategies to assist you in being the best parent possible during this difficult time for your family. Reading this book will assist parents in raising emotionally and physically healthy children
If you love your child, this book is crucial for you to read. It will assist you in minimizing the impact of your circumstances on your child. You deserve to read this book and your child deserves a parent that reads this book. 

Editorial Reviews


"This book is outstanding! I highly recommend it." Judge Stephen A. Groome, 11th Judicial District, State of CO
"Don't let the word Fatal in the title scare you.You will find Shannon Rios's book to be one of the best parenting after divorce books ever written.This book should be required reading in all divorce classes." David L. Levy, Esq., President, Board of Trustees, Children's Rights Council

This book offers very clear, concise insight into the challenges of raising a child with a co-parent. It offered me some great strategies to improve my parenting and provide a healthy environment for my child. I strongly recommend this book to anyone in a co-parenting situation and who is wants to raise emotionally healthy children.

Phillip Hilgert, Father

"Shannon comes from personal experience and from the heart in her deep 
desire to help children of divorcing parents. Parents - read this 
book! You CAN move through the divorce process without injuring your 
  Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author/coauthor of "Healing Your Aloneness", 
and "Inner Bonding"

From the Inside Flap

Growing up a child of conflict and divorce, I would never in a million years have imagined myself working with families of divorce. As I began to put this book together, I felt some mixed emotions: sadness as I recalled the pain and conflict I experienced as a child, yet excitement for the hope and help I planned to share through the book. As I was writing my business plan for the coming year, I asked myself, "Is this type of work truly my passion? I am 36 years old, single and have never been married. So why in the world would I want to focus my energy on writing this book?" The truth is that I want to assist you in shielding your children from pain, hurt, and heartache. I know I cannot save the world, but I do know I am here for a purpose, which is to assist in creating healthier families so we can have healthier and happier children. So obviously I made the decision to write this book and I am clear in my heart that I was meant to write it. It has been a complete honor to share my knowledge and to assist families.
When I reach my divorce-education class and see the light go on for parents when they realize how their behavior is impacting their children, my heart is happy. If I help just one child have less anxiety, have better social relationships, be a better partner and parent or just enjoy their childhood more, I can be satisfied that I have done my work. My mind used to want to go to the big picture of impacting, now I just focus on the present, one child at a time. I have a huge heart for children and I know I have been given this vision around children, families and divorce. I make a difference in children's lives, one child at a time.
I am writing this book for you, parents who are divorced, going through a divorce, or considering a divorce. You may also be a co-parent who has never been married to your child's other parent, you too will find this book helpful. It is time for me to share the knowledge that I have gained from my own parents' divorce and conflict, from the parents I have trained, from the children I have counseled, and from the divorces of friends and family. My wish for you and your family is healing, health, and love. My deepest hope is that this book will bring you and your family one step closer to these goals. If what I am sharing assists you in any way to positively impact your family, I know I have done my work here and I am deeply satisfied.
I want to take this time to honor you for picking up this book. In picking up and reading this book, you also want to positively contribute during your time here. You are interested in creating a better society through your own actions. I know this time can feel so painful and that you are making a step to move beyond your pain for the greater good of your children. You want what is best for your children and you are willing to at least explore taking positive action. I thank you for that because you don't have to read this book. You are special. I promise you, if you take action on even some of the suggestions in this book, you will raise children who will be emotionally and physically healthier than they otherwise would have been. They will have an easier life due to your decision to take action in your own life. This is truly the greatest gift you can give to your children. Your children will thank you. Truly, your children do not want material gifts, they want healthy parents and families who love them. I would return every gift my parents ever gave me in return for less conflict and more love in our family.
This book is written from in-depth knowledge and experience with the subject matter. It is also written from my heart. I have no other motive in writing about this topic except the best interests of my readers. May you receive everything you are meant to receive from this book to allow you and your family to heal and move forward in the best way possible for your children. From my heart to yours, I thank you for who you are and for the parent you are for your children. You know they deserve the best parent possible through this event (divorce) that they did not choose. I thank you for being that parent.

Product Details

  • File Size: 8594 KB
  • Print Length: 265 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0615314953
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00A27LDA2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #294,355 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars this book is incredible August 25, 2010
I am an attorney in Colorado. After I read "7 Fatal Mistakes" I bought 50 copies. I am about to buy 50 more. I give them to my clients, to opposing counsel, and to my clients' soon to be ex spouses. The book is phenomenal. Without exception, my clients who have read the book have said it changed the way they were parenting. It is truly modified some of my clients' approach to their children and their exes. For some it has lead to genuine soul searching. This book is good for kids, good for parents, and good for me. It gives me a powerful tool to help parents realize the damage they can inflict on their children through and after a divorce.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Separated Parents Are Still Kin April 3, 2010
As Director of Stepfamily Associates I've worked with separated parents for 30 years. The most crucial things for kids is for their parents to DECIDE to learn to work together and this book helps. I've been interviewing parents who've been separated for 10 and up to 40 years and they have wonderful stories of how they have learned to work together and now feel like kin as their grandchildren are born. This book helps parents realize that no matter how they feel at the start of the separation, they will have a relationship of some kind for the rest of their lives. Kids need parents who are speaking respectfully to one another - whether they are together or apart. This book will help parents learn how to get on the same page.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book with practical, real-world advice January 3, 2010
This book offers very clear, concise insight into the challenges of raising a child with a co-parent. It offered me some great strategies to improve my parenting and provide a healthy environment for my child.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone in a co-parenting situation and who is wants to raise emotionally healthy children.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars My go-to book! September 14, 2010
"As a professional mentor and coach for children, I have found "The 7 Fatal Mistakes" to be of great help to both me and the children I work with. Many of these children are witnessing the separation or divorce of their parents and Shannon's book has helped me understand on a much deeper level what these kids are going through. Within 10 minutes of picking up the book I felt armed with knowledge and skills that I applied with a child, and it helped right away! Thank you Shannon for helping me do my best work with these children".

Dace Price
Male Health Advocate
Youth and Family Services
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life lessons for all September 25, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read Shannon's book to see what a professional had to say about the effects of divorce on a child. You see, I am a writer of creative non-fiction based on my life experiences as a child of divorce. My parents were divorced over 40 years ago when divorce wasn't as openly talked about. That and the fact that the reason my parents got one was because my father was gay, I thought my situation was unique. Reading this book made me realize that no matter when divorce happens or what the reasons are, many children will react the same.

Shannon puts down in black and white, and with very easy-to-understand language, what every divorced couple needs to discuss with their children, regardless of their ages. The way the `adults' act during and after this time will greatly influence how the child of divorce grows up.

Interestingly, I found that by reading this book I could use some of the lessons to better my relationship with my children and wife even though I am married and have no intentions of a divorce happening.

The questions she poses throughout the book make you think about the consequences of how you act in certain situations. Once again, these can be used by everyone to better their life. The section on being positive and changing your perception of people to one of a positive nature can help everyone.

Shannon talks about closure and how people experience it differently. I thought my closure was when my father died and my mother got remarried. What I found out years later was my real closure was when I wrote my books. I think Shannon experienced the same thing in this book. By writing down what she hopes will help others she probably helped herself understand much more too.

Kudos to Shannon and here's to her helping many more children and adults of divorce.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An invaluable asset at a difficult time December 12, 2011
I am just finishing a divorce, and Shannon's book helped to avert the worst fallout for all involved. She had identified the situation for our children 100%, and the book changed not only the way the children were parented during the divorce, but the way they will be from now on. This book is the best preparation on becoming a co-parent, it lets you see a lot of what will happen from the children's point of view. I would get it early in the divorce process to give you the best preparation!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good advice during a tough time May 22, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
When you go through divorce you feel a lot of emotions and don't always think clearly. It is nice to have a head's up to remind you of what to concentrate on and how to lessen the blow on the children. It doesn't always work that way yet with this book you are reminded what the goal is.
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By R. King
This is an excellent and insightful book. Written from the child's perspective, the book helps divorcing parents deal with their pain and anger. Once freed of these shackles, they can better focus on being good parents. While I could have done with a bit less cheerleading, the author too often writes "You're awesome" and "You're amazing", there were so many thought-provoking passages that more than made up for the overblown new-age blather. I immediately put into practice the author's suggestions and saw quick results. Most importantly, this book forced me to accept my role in the end of my marriage rather than blame my ex. The book also forced me to consider things I have never even thought of. I highly recommend it for anyone going through separation and divorce.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource for anyone going through divorce or is...
This book has so many tips, ideas and coaching exercises that are so helpful when dealing with divorce and co-parenting. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Jennie M Johansson
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Very helpful when dealing with a stressful dragged out divorce.
Published 4 months ago by Michelle
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent. Great help to my son and his wife ...
Excellent. Great help to my son and his wife who were recently separated. They are working together to focus on the kids and they both found this book to be valuable in that... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Sandra Stone
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book
This was referred to both my husband and me by our Guardian ad Litem while going through the divorce process. Read more
Published 12 months ago by A A
5.0 out of 5 stars 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced or Separate Parents Make
Divorce is the ISSUE. No matter when or why divorce happens, children in the family experience pain. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Dr. Glenda Clare
5.0 out of 5 stars Mom's Review
Reading this as Shannon's mom was hardy, but eyeopening. There are no guidelines for a "divorced family" out there and all situations unique. Read more
Published on March 11, 2013 by Vickie B
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource for separated or divorced parents
This book is an excellent resource for separated or divorced parents. Shannon does a great job in providing practical advice in what a parent can do to improve their relationship... Read more
Published on March 3, 2013 by SAM
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More About the Author

Shannon Rios, MS, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Due to her passion for working with children and families, she formed LifeTheads Inc. in 2002. She specializes in the area of families of divorce, separation and conflict. Her process is called Family WORKS (Working it Out Responsibly for the Kids Sake). She taught Co-Parenting Through Your Divorce for the State of Minnesota and currently teaches Parenting and Divorce for the State of CO. She has completed many specialized trainings in the areas of families experiencing divorce and conflict. In 2006 she moved her practice to Colorado and has built her business in the areas of Therapy with Children and Families of Divorce and Conflict, Parenting Coordinator/Decision-Maker Work, Therapeutic and Supervised Visitation, and CFI (Child Family Investigator) Work.

She focuses on assisting families and children of divorce/conflict to find their power and strength during a challenging life transition. In working with clients, Shannon develops a deep level of trust and integrity with every client she works with. Her focus is the optimal health and well-being of each of her clients. She deeply believes in the unique potential of every individual in the world. She has had excellent success in empowering families to work together in the best interest of their child(ren).

Shannon began her corporate coaching career in 1998 when she initiated a large-scale coaching effort within her organization focused on retaining high-performing employees. She trained over 150 managers and employees in the coaching process within the organization. Shannon was then trained through The Coaches Training Institute, a nationally certified coaching program through the International Coach Federation. She began officially coaching managers and executives one on one within organizations she was employed with for the next few years. She then started her own coaching organization in 2003 and has since been a leadership and management coach with The Human Potential Project and The Ken Blanchard Companies. Shannon has served as a catalyst for change in multi-national organizations such as Cargill, Zurich North America, Allianz, The Ambling Companies, Rate One Mortgage and the Ken Blanchard Companies.

Shannon also developed her business In this capacity, she specializes in the niche area of families/children of divorce, separation and conflict. She wrote a best selling book "The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced and Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict". She is an advocate for children and parents to live happy, healthy and peace-filled lives.

Shannon holds a Masters in Psychology and a Licensure in Marriage and Family Therapy.

Her coaching and businesses exists for one reason, to assist all of us to live in our full amazing beautiful potential every moment.

"It is but a choice, each moment, each breath, to live our most powerful life"
Shannon R. Rios


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