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Father and Child Reunion: How to Bring the Dads We Need to the Children We Love Perfect Paperback – January 4, 2001


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Father and Child Reunion: How to Bring the Dads We Need to the Children We Love + Why Men Are the Way They Are + Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say: Destroying Myths, Creating Love
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Product Details

  • Perfect Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher (January 4, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615223931
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615223933
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #796,116 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Like his earlier Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, Farrell's latest book will evoke strong responses with its polemically argued thesis: that fathers are often missing from the family equation and that this is to the detriment of both children and mothers. His research shows, for instance, that children with involved fathers score better on academic and social competence measures as well as on physical and psychological health tests. Issues like child support, visitation, and the female domination of legal proceedings are critiqued and shown to be frequently unfair to men. Unfortunately, Farrell's intensely pro-male tone pits men against women and obscures otherwise thought-provoking comments. In addition, the style is often overly dramatic, e.g., the author asserts that the denial of father-time is "one of the most documentable forms of child abuse." For a positive, supportive title, try Divorced Dad's Survival Book: How To Stay Connected with Your Kids (Perseus, 2000. reprint). For only the largest public and academic libraries. Douglas C. Lord, Hartford P.L., CT
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"I come away from this book inspired to be a more involved dad, with deeper understanding . . . helpful to my children." -- v Jack Canfield. Co-author, Chicken Soup for the Parent's Soul<br /><br />"It will inspire and persuade dads to become more involved with their children -- benefit to kids, to moms as well." -- John Gray. Author, Men are From Mars; Women Are From Venus<br /><br />"Of Farrell's books, Father and Child Reunion is his best. . . Its insights are a gift to men and women." -- Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. Professor of Child Psychiatry, Yale University School of Medicine<br /><br />The author is a man well-known for his evenhandedness with both sexes. --Susan Deitz, Los Angeles Times Syndicate

More About the Author

Dr. Warren Farrell began his research on gender issues in the '60s. His first book, The Liberated Man, was published in 1974. It was from the women's perspective and the feminist perspective. By the '80s, he began noticing that men were feeling misrepresented, and his award-winning national best-seller, Why Men Are The Way They Are, was written to answer women's questions about men in a way that rings true for men. The New York Post calls it "the most important book ever written about love, sex, and intimacy."

By the '90s, Dr. Farrell felt the misunderstandings about men had deepened and become dangerous to the survival of families and love. He confronted the misunderstandings head-on with the award-winning The Myth of Male Power, a book the The Library Journal ranked as "better than Robert Bly's Iron John or any of Betty Freidan's works." (His books are published in over 50 countries in 15 languages.)

By the turn of the century Dr. Farrell wanted to provide the sexes with the tools to communicate-- in particular to hear personal criticism from a loved one, especially when given badly. That was the take-off point for Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, a selection of the Book-of-the-Month Club. By 2001 Dr. Farrell completed research he had been working on for 13 years on the conditions under which children of divorce are most likely to be raised successfully. That book, Father and Child Reunion, has renewed the commitment of many dads to be with their children, and its research has helped judges understand the importance of dads.

Dr. Farrell's most recent research is published as Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap -- and What Women Can Do About It. It documents the 25 differences between men and women's work-life decisions. It was chosen by U.S. News and World Report as one of the top four "great career books to be read in 2006."

Warren has appeared on over 1000 TV and radio shows, and been interviewed frequently by Oprah and Barbara, and by Larry King and Peter Jennings. He has been featured repeatedly on 20/20 and in The New York Times, in People and on Real People, in men's journals and The Wall Street Journal, and on the Today Show, the Tomorrow Show, and even To Tell The Truth.

Warren Farrell's understanding of both sexes is symbolized by his being, on the one hand, on the boards of four national men's organizations, and on the other hand, being the only man in the US to be elected three times to the Board of Directors of the National Organization for Women in New York City. Similarly, he has started over 600 men's and women's groups, and over 200,000 women and men have attended his workshops worldwide. He is the only person chosen to speak at both of former California Governor Wilson's 1995 conferences - his Conference on Men and his Conference on Women.

President Johnson chose Dr. Farrell as one of the outstanding young educators in the United States. (The man's been around for awhile!) He has taught political science, psychology, women's studies and sociology, and most recently taught at the School of Medicine at the University of California at San Diego. Dr. Farrell has been chosen by the International Biographic Centre of London as one of the World's 2000 Outstanding Scholars of the 20th Century and, in quite a different take, chosen by the Financial Times as one of the worlds top 100 Thought Leaders. He has also been selected by the Center for World Spirituality as one of the world's spiritual leaders.

Dr. Farrell is in Who's Who in America and Who's Who in the World, but his best moments are at home. He has two daughters and lives with his wife in Mill Valley, California, and virtually at www.warrenfarrell.com.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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A MUST READ for all fathers!
C. Yanda
This book really brings light on the importance of fathers and why we need to value their contributions to our families and our children.
Dad
Dr. Farrell helps us understand why the absentee father has become the norm in our society today.
Jed Diamond

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful By erin pizzey on December 28, 2000
Format: Hardcover
Thirty years ago I opened the first refuge (shelter) in the world for battered women and their children. I was aware from the beginning that there was a huge injustice being done to men. Domestic violence is not a gender issue. Violence is a learned pattern of behavior from early childhood. Governments, courts, social workers, probation officers turned their backs on the vital need for children to be loved by both their mothers and their fathers. I have just finished reading Father and Child Reunion and I am breathless with admiration for Warren Farrell's love and compassion for parents. I have always followed his work and his writings but this time he has surpassed himself and written 'the bible of fatherhood.' In very simple easily understood sentences, Warren Farrell manages to turn the often difficult and complicated concept into lucid prose. Farrell understands the human condition is fallable and woefully human but he does not pull his punches when he describes the last thirty years of destruction meted out to fathers and men in geneneral. This book should be made widely available to all markets. Anyone who loves children and wants to build a better world for them, should read this book and then send copies to their friends. Erin Pizzey
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Bought Copies for My Three Daughters on December 5, 2000
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I had the privilege of reading a pre-publication copy of this book and I can't wait until January to talk about it. Warren Farrell has written many books about how to bring men and women together by ending gender warfare but this time he shows how the children are damaged by the warfare and demonstrates the need for all of us to work together to bring fathers back into the lives of children. Whether it is the runaway Dad who needs to be coaxed back into fatherhood or the disconnected Dad who is too busy for the kids or the pushed-away Dad who has been victimized by an unfairly restrictive custody order, Farrell marshalls the proof that Dads are needed for the well-being of their children and for the future of our society. Based on thirteen years of intensive research, Farrell presents mountains of information on the importance of Dads, all of it cross-referenced to the original sources and scientific studies. As a true gender equality advocate (three time member of the N.Y. National Organization for Women Board of Directors and the leader of gender equality training workshops for thousands of men and women), Farrell demonstrates the benefits of increased father involvement for women, for children and for the men themselves. Everybody gains from helping men to be good Dads and from giving them the opportunity to do so. Sure, there are pathological extremes among Dads as in any large group but Farrell shows that most Dads are just ordinary guys who love their kids and who want to be an active part of their lives.Read more ›
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Lindsay Kenny on January 27, 2001
Format: Hardcover
This is the fourth book of Dr. Farrell's that I've read and loved. "Father and Child Reunion", in my opinion, is his best and arguably his most important. From the introduction to the last page, it's full of eye opening revelations and fascinating stories about the incredible influence and importance of fathers to our children. As a woman, I've always taken for granted that mothers were the most "essential" parent. Otherwise, why would courts so often award moms custody, even when the father seemed to be the more responsible parent? Dr. Farrell thoroughly documents astounding statistics about how children raised without dads are, among other things, more likely to wet the bed, have poorer grades, join gangs, run away from home, stutter, drop out of school, develop emotional problems, wind up in jail, and much more. Reading this book made me realize and appreciate the critical role fathers play in the lives of today's children and tomorrow's leaders. The parenting lessons, from the different perspective of "Father and Child Reunion" can't help but make every mother (even those who despise their ex-husbands,) appreciate the profound impact and necessary balance dads bring to the upbringing of their children. Additionally, Dr. Farrell illuminates creative ways for "shared parenting" when a dual-parent household is not possible. Without diminishing the importance and value of mothers, this book will help fathers acknowledge and be proud of the crucial contribution they make to their offspring that goes far beyond the content of their wallets or donation of DNA. All that and it's as interesting and fun to read as a novel.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By "frtc" on April 9, 2001
Format: Hardcover
"Father and Child Reunion", by Warren Farrell, Ph.D., is an outstanding book, packed full of insightful statistics, examples, and citations. The direct way in which Farrell cuts to the heart of complex problems is inspiring.
Although "Father and Child Reunion" is not intended to be a reference book, it could easily serve as one. The book is meticulously researched, with almost five hundred footnotes. Dr. Farrell has carefully documented his subject in great detail, with a voluminous amount of supporting data.
It should be stressed, however, that this is not one of those dreary tomes that one has to wade through, fighting off sleep while searching for the 'good stuff'. On the contrary, it is a thoroughly enjoyable book that moves right along with the aid of a great deal of interesting material gathered by Farrell. The 'good stuff' isn't hidden; it jumps out at you from nearly every paragraph.
Farrell provides a number of illuminating explanations for some of the most common (and persistent) misconceptions regarding divorce, custody, and fatherhood. His careful dissection of the issues leaves little to chance- every facet is closely examined and laid bare.
Step-by-step, Farrell shows how fathers can be systematically removed from their children's lives, through the 'well-meaning' efforts of courts, social perceptions, and government offices. These things provide the tools, motives, and methods that permit fathers to be treated as second-class citizens in divorce and custody matters.
Farrell touches on a key point, something called the "presumption of perversion". This is a recent social attitude wherein all men are viewed with suspicion, and are thought not to be trusted around children because of their (presumed) proclivity to molest.
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