Customer Reviews

Father and Child Reunion: How to Bring the Dads We Need to the Children We Love

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I had the privilege of reading a pre-publication copy of this book and I can't wait until January to talk about it. Warren Farrell has written many books about how to bring men and women together by ending gender warfare but this time he shows how the children are damaged by the warfare and demonstrates the need for all of us to work together to bring fathers back into the lives of children. Whether it is the runaway Dad who needs to be coaxed back into fatherhood or the disconnected Dad who is too busy for the kids or the pushed-away Dad who has been victimized by an unfairly restrictive custody order, Farrell marshalls the proof that Dads are needed for the well-being of their children and for the future of our society. Based on thirteen years of intensive research, Farrell presents mountains of information on the importance of Dads, all of it cross-referenced to the original sources and scientific studies. As a true gender equality advocate (three time member of the N.Y. National Organization for Women Board of Directors and the leader of gender equality training workshops for thousands of men and women), Farrell demonstrates the benefits of increased father involvement for women, for children and for the men themselves. Everybody gains from helping men to be good Dads and from giving them the opportunity to do so. Sure, there are pathological extremes among Dads as in any large group but Farrell shows that most Dads are just ordinary guys who love their kids and who want to be an active part of their lives. Anyone who cares about family health and well-being needs to read this book to better understand the children's need for a father-friendly social environment Most importantly, this book needs to be read by every father to better understand the potential for his contribution to his children and by every mother who wants the best for her children. Mothers and fathers working together for the benefit of their children is best for all of us. It's as simple as recognizing that two is more than one with Farrell showing us just how much more and how to overcome the difficulties of bringing one and one together to make two for the benefit of the children. Buy this book. Read this book. Give copies to everybody you know. It's that important.

Thirty years ago I opened the first refuge (shelter) in the world for battered women and their children. I was aware from the beginning that there was a huge injustice being done to men. Domestic violence is not a gender issue. Violence is a learned pattern of behavior from early childhood. Governments, courts, social workers, probation officers turned their backs on the vital need for children to be loved by both their mothers and their fathers. I have just finished reading Father and Child Reunion and I am breathless with admiration for Warren Farrell's love and compassion for parents. I have always followed his work and his writings but this time he has surpassed himself and written 'the bible of fatherhood.' In very simple easily understood sentences, Warren Farrell manages to turn the often difficult and complicated concept into lucid prose. Farrell understands the human condition is fallable and woefully human but he does not pull his punches when he describes the last thirty years of destruction meted out to fathers and men in geneneral. This book should be made widely available to all markets. Anyone who loves children and wants to build a better world for them, should read this book and then send copies to their friends. Erin Pizzey

This is the fourth book of Dr. Farrell's that I've read and loved. "Father and Child Reunion", in my opinion, is his best and arguably his most important. From the introduction to the last page, it's full of eye opening revelations and fascinating stories about the incredible influence and importance of fathers to our children. As a woman, I've always taken for granted that mothers were the most "essential" parent. Otherwise, why would courts so often award moms custody, even when the father seemed to be the more responsible parent? Dr. Farrell thoroughly documents astounding statistics about how children raised without dads are, among other things, more likely to wet the bed, have poorer grades, join gangs, run away from home, stutter, drop out of school, develop emotional problems, wind up in jail, and much more. Reading this book made me realize and appreciate the critical role fathers play in the lives of today's children and tomorrow's leaders. The parenting lessons, from the different perspective of "Father and Child Reunion" can't help but make every mother (even those who despise their ex-husbands,) appreciate the profound impact and necessary balance dads bring to the upbringing of their children. Additionally, Dr. Farrell illuminates creative ways for "shared parenting" when a dual-parent household is not possible. Without diminishing the importance and value of mothers, this book will help fathers acknowledge and be proud of the crucial contribution they make to their offspring that goes far beyond the content of their wallets or donation of DNA. All that and it's as interesting and fun to read as a novel.

"Father and Child Reunion", by Warren Farrell, Ph.D., is an outstanding book, packed full of insightful statistics, examples, and citations. The direct way in which Farrell cuts to the heart of complex problems is inspiring.

Although "Father and Child Reunion" is not intended to be a reference book, it could easily serve as one. The book is meticulously researched, with almost five hundred footnotes. Dr. Farrell has carefully documented his subject in great detail, with a voluminous amount of supporting data.

It should be stressed, however, that this is not one of those dreary tomes that one has to wade through, fighting off sleep while searching for the 'good stuff'. On the contrary, it is a thoroughly enjoyable book that moves right along with the aid of a great deal of interesting material gathered by Farrell. The 'good stuff' isn't hidden; it jumps out at you from nearly every paragraph.

Farrell provides a number of illuminating explanations for some of the most common (and persistent) misconceptions regarding divorce, custody, and fatherhood. His careful dissection of the issues leaves little to chance- every facet is closely examined and laid bare.

Step-by-step, Farrell shows how fathers can be systematically removed from their children's lives, through the 'well-meaning' efforts of courts, social perceptions, and government offices. These things provide the tools, motives, and methods that permit fathers to be treated as second-class citizens in divorce and custody matters.

Farrell touches on a key point, something called the "presumption of perversion". This is a recent social attitude wherein all men are viewed with suspicion, and are thought not to be trusted around children because of their (presumed) proclivity to molest. Farrell states it succinctly when he says that in the space of a decade or two, we've gone from "Father Knows Best" to "Father Molests". This unconscious social misperception contributes to (and may well indeed be responsible for) many of the current prevailing anti-father attitudes in society.

Farrell also skillfully explains what appear to be some contradictory statements. For example, he shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that children fare better when they live with single fathers than they do when they live with single mothers, yet he also states that fathers aren't better parents than mothers. How can this be? Farrell explains how both of these statements are true, and why they are, in fact, not contradictory.

Warren Farrell discusses sex abuse charges in a way that makes some seemingly incomprehensible incidents understandable. Farrell gives a credible explanation of what likely causes a certain number of the spurious charges of abuse that appear during divorce situations, charges that have no foundation in truth.

"Father and Child Reunion" is a book that should be required reading for every judge, GAL, evaluator, attorney, and social worker. The insights and knowledge gained would be invaluable, and would without a doubt change the way justice is dispensed in family court.

Erin Pizzey, who opened the first shelter in the world for battered women, comments on Farrell's book, saying "this time he has surpassed himself and written 'the bible of fatherhood.'" We agree. Simply put, "Father and Child Reunion" is a 'must read'...

Got this book pronto from Amazon. Good service. This is the first book I've ever read that actually made my hands tremble. Its understanding of the sexes is almost frightening. Warren Farrell has got to be the world's most insightful researcher into gender. Sadly, though, because of its brutal honesty and political incorrect views regarding mothers, fathers, and children, the mainstream media will ignore it and ideological feminists will wage war against it.

Women who consider themselves above the law will not enjoy reading this book. The book is excellent but almost doesn't go far enough in showing how far some women will go to remain the 'victim' and use thier childrens as paychecks and pawns. Yes, I am a woman and a mother and this book should be required reading for any young person thinking of getting married, all judges, hearing officers,domestic lawyers, state reps, senators, and teachers. We need to understand that our children deserve and require both parents and as soon as people begin to take some personal responsibility for their actions our children will do better. Buy this book, support this cause and remember, what you show your child today may be what they do tomorrow... mary

I've owned this book for four hours and have read most of it. I have experienced firsthand the shocking bias and injustice towards fathers, and undoubtedly have much more to face. This book is sadly ahead of its time. It cuts right through the political correctness, media ignorance, feminist propoganda, and false sense of equality most men feel they have. Farrell backs up his statements with facts and reliable data, and extends his credibility by explaining why he originally agreed with but now rejects the oversold feminist movement. Here in Iowa, Governor Vilsack has recently announced the creation of a task force to determine how fathers can play a bigger role in the lives of their children. While its name, "The Task Force for Responsible Fatherhood", makes it sound like a quest for any remaining gestapo tactics left unused against fathers, it appears to recognize that both parents can engage in the financial and emotional support of children. If the final report, due Spring of 2002, acknowledges half of what Farrell clearly explains, and half of that works its way into legislation a few years later, perhaps Iowa children will begin to benefit from the fathers they are being deprived of by malicious mothers, archaic family courts, ignorant social workers and psychologists, and lazy and greedy attorneys. If you want to be ahead of the times, Farrell is not only fair, he is right!

I am a social worker, and was a social work graduate student ( I had to drop out of graduate school due to lack of funds and no assistantship.

I am also a divorced, non-custodial father.

I have ready many books and research papers about social policy, child welfare, and child welfare practices. Father and Child Reunion is the best publication I read to date about divorce, custody, child support, and social policy. Dr. Farrell writes in a clear, concise, and highly readable style. He has also done his homework. The book is well researched.

This is book needs to be distributed to every family court judge, divorce court judge, and child protective custody worker in North America and the rest of the world.

I have remained anonymous for two reasons. First because my profession is about 70% female and operates under many if not all of the assumptions that Dr. Farrell deconstructs in his book. Second because I want to complete my graduate education.

Buy this book! Give it to your friends! Give it to sons and brothers and fathers and uncles and nephews!

For men and women, everyone interested in current gender predicaments and how to ease the tension this is must reading. The most articulate analysis of how we got into such a mess (no blaming) and how to love each other again, and the disaster zone that radical feminism has made of childhood. Clear, intelligent, human, compassionate, good- natured - therefore, probably doomed to fail in this sad, mixed-up country.

Mr. Farrell's book speaks a great deal of truth about an issue that is largely ignored in our society: father's rights. I know, firsthand, about what he is saying because I have been there. For over nine years I have had to continually fight to remain in my daughter's life.
Our society expects men to be stoical about these issues, while it is acceptable for women to vent their anger and garner sympathy from peers and family members. I have had to fight the gender bias of the so-called family court system, and the indifference of family members regarding something that can be very frustrating and painful for the non-custodial parent, i.e., fathers.
Although it is considered politically correct to view women as victims in our society, absent and disenfranchised fathers are also victims. Men are more than just paychecks and spermbanks -- they are integral people in their childrens' lives.