Customer Reviews

Father Loss: Daughters Discuss the Man That Got Away

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book has a very wide scope and attempts to address the many possibilities for how and when a daughter may have lost her father. There is a chapter on incest, one on paternal suicide, one on divorce/abandonment, etc. But the book's focus, is definitely on daughters whose father passed away when she was a child--and it makes sense that this is the focus, because that was the author's (Elyce Wakerman) situation. I, however, was most interested in the stories on divorce/abandonment, but those were few. The chapter on divorce is very good, and the stories included about divorce were helpful because as a child of divorce myself, I was able to resonate with the feelings of other women and to come to grips with the loss that I experienced. But this book was, for me, very unsatisfying. I felt like the times they mentioned the effects of divorce on a daughter were great--but they were few. So if you are a daughter of divorce, I would recommend reading a book devoted entirely to that topic, instead of this one. It is so wide in the range of women it addresses that I would recommend women dealing with father loss to find a book that deals more specifically with their individual situation. That said, this book did provide me with some good insights, and excited the desire to delve more fully into issues of father loss.

The first time I finished this book was at 4:00 in the morning. I promptly threw it across the room and cried until dawn. The second time I read "Father Loss," I dog eared the upper right hand corner of the pages I liked. The third time I read it, I dog eared the bottom right hand corners of the pages that interested me. After that, I took to highlighting the important paragraphs. My copy of "Father Loss" is all but mangled, but I will not give it up. Since 1985, I've purchased countless copies for women friends with similar backgrounds. You should read the thank you notes I've received...they're full of praise for Wakerman's masterpiece.

This book helped me to understand why I behave the way I do. It also gave me comfort in the knowledge that I was not alone in my suffering and that my anguish was real and worthy of attention. Although nothing will replace the black hole in my heart left by my father's death, "Father Loss" was the most important tool in my recovery and my path to a healthier relationship with men.

A must-have for any woman who has lost her father to death, divorce or abandonment. It will help. Trust me on this one

I originally purchased this book because I lost my father on March 5th. I'm 27 years old and I found that this book is a better resource for women/girls who lost their fathers under the age of 18. The book addresses losing a father due to death, divorce or abandonment. Unfortunately I thought it would help me even though I am an adult. I had a hard time relating to the stories of the girls/women in the book. Most reference the elementary school/teenage period without a father. However I would recommend this book for women/girls who did loose a father at a young age.

As I was reading the book, not all of what Wakerman discussed resonated with me, but when it did, boy, did it strike a sensitive chord! This book needs to be read by mothers who are in denial, heartless fathers and fathers who may not be around very much longer, and by all daughters, even if their relationship with their fathers were great. Chances are, we've all experienced abandonment, even if ever so slight. What most women don't understand, just as I hadn't before I read the book, is that even the slightest feeling of abandonment snowballs and grows into something bigger then we all would like. By then, however, it's almost too insurmountable to deal with. It's worth dealing with, though. Learn from me: don't hold anything in. I did for at least 16 years, and it did more harm then good. If anyone relates to what I'm saying, buy this book!!

Just wanted to add to the comments on this book which incidentally I have been looking for for over 10 years! A friend's mum recommended it to me but only knew the title and as I am in the UK and this is published in the States ... well thank goodness for the internet! Anyway as the daughter of a father I never met - my father died before I was born and even before my mum knew she was expecting me - this book has finally given me some insight into why I act/feel the way I do. And it's great to know I'm not alone! You will be able to identify with many of the different views inside even if they do not strictly apply to your particular situation. Most areas are covered - death/divorce/suicide/separation. It also looks at later scenarios such as step-parents and your own marriage/children. My only criticisms would be that the conclusions drawn can be a bit repetitive. And it would have been good to have some constructive advice about what to do next! Not that of course a book can provide all the answers... The overall approach of the book is very sympathetic and it has a logical flow and is an easily accessible read.
I have a really difficult time in my relationships with men, although I'm still trying! and this book has been invaluable in making me see why I behave the way I do and at least realising that I'm not the only one.
Onwards and upwards eh?

I was six years old when my father died in 1975. At that time, there were NO materials on father loss for girls. Reading this book has been an amazing experience for me, and brought much understanding to my relationships with men. I am very grateful for such an excellent resource, and highly recommend it to all women with early father loss.

The first time I finished this book was at 4:00 in the morning. I promptly threw it across the room and cried until dawn. The second time I read "Father Loss," I dog eared the upper right hand corner of the pages I liked. The third time I read it, I dog eared the bottom right hand corners of the pages that interested me. After that, I took to highlighting the important paragraphs. My copy of "Father Loss" is all but mangled, but I will not give it up.

Since 1985, I've purchased countless copies for women friends with similar backgrounds. You should read the thank you notes I've received...they're full of praise for Wakerman's masterpiece.

This book helped me to understand why I behave the way I do. It also gave me comfort in the knowledge that I was not alone in my suffering and that my anguish was real and worthy of attention. Although nothing will replace the black hole in my heart left by my father's death, "Father Loss" was the most important tool in my recovery and my path to a healthier relationship with men.

A must-have for any woman who has lost her father to death, divorce or abandonment. It will help. Trust me on this one.

In the 80's this was the first book i had come across that dealt with all aspects of father loss as well as with all different kinds of losses. The subject was dealt with on a personal level (true stories from those who had lost a father) and on an academic level. For the first time in my life, I realized i wasn't nuts. I still deal with my father's suicide but have done much to heal my past, including running a suicide group for the families left behind. Very informational book.

Before this book, I never fully comprehended the depth of the pain of my father disappearing when I was 4 years old. This book, not only put words to the feelings that I had had my entire life, but also helped me realize that I am not alone. This book really changed the way I thought about myself and made me finally understand some of the mechanics behind the pain. A must read for any gal who's Daddy disappeared at any age.

This book arrived on time and well packaged. It was in the condition indicated and I have been very happy with the purchase.