Customer Reviews

My Father Married Your Mother: Dispatches from the Blended Family

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I began reading this book for its gossip value -- I was curious to understand the intimate lives of some of the famous writers whose essays are included here. I assumed that I wouldn't actually relate personally to the stories because I'm not part of a step-family. But in fact these stories gave me tremendous insights into my relationship with my father and my mother, old boyfriends, and also into the kind of person I am -- simply because the essays are full of tremendously acute observations about relationships as well as fascinating and delicious scenes.
Every time I finished an essay I couldn't help myself from plunging immediately into the next, reading the chapters in exactly the order assembled (after checking out the work of the writers about which I was most curious). This is SUCH a good book! I kept putting stars in the margins and thinking, Oh I want to copy that into my notebook -- because what's illuminated is the "ordinary" family, too. The first essay (by Dana Kinstler) made me think about the roles of daughters and fathers, and then in Phyllis Rose's I was thinking about whether my own father had provided enough strength and direction for me to feel secure (apparently not) and Sasha Troyan's lovely and droll and funny piece made me think about how people look while they are falling in love, and Andrew Solomon's made me marvel about the sort of people able to get a tremendous amount done, and the nature of parental love, and a thousand other things. I ADORED the quirky, funny, touching essays by D. S. Sulaitis (who I'd never heard of; now I'm dying to read more by her) and Sandra Tsing Loh, and the haunging one by Alice Elliott Dark, and the heartbreaking one by Jacquelyn Mitchard -- but all of them taught me something. I found this to be such a useful, smart, absorbing book. It provides stories that give insight into one's own life (which is what I for one really want stories to do). Actually, this book did feel like good gossip - but the kind that illuminates your own life.

This inspiring book of essays is a natural choice for anyone who is a stepparent or stepchild and therefore part of the modern phenomenom of a blended family. In many ways the book casts an even wider appeal because so many of the essays are about the struggles we all face in modern family life--how to live with people in your family who may have different desires and outlooks in life than your own. I really loved this book, and I found myself alternately laughing out loud (Phyllis Rose's piece on her absent-minded second husband was endearing and hilarious), wincing (Dana Kinstler's essay on father-love was all too familiar), and crying (Stephanie Stokes Oliver's piece on her love for her stepdaughters moved me). I ended up buying more copies of this book and handing them out to my sister, my friend from business school who is a stepmother, my stylist (no kidding) who lost her father when she was two. The essays are short enough to read one a night before falling asleep--my favorite time of the day to read. This is definitely a great gift idea for yourself or someone else in your life.

The personal stories in this collection are moving and the writing so incredibly revealing. You get so many different points of views, shared experiences from stepmothers, stepfathers, from stepchildren. You get it all and each story is beautifully written - some are funny, witty; some are sad; some are triumphant. It's a wonderful read even for those who don't have the shared stepfamily experiences like myself. I loved it!

A friend gave me this book and it unexpectedly gave me insight (that I wasn't looking for) into my own family. I never considered that my grandmother was actually a second marriage- a step-parent and step-grandparent. When my biological grandfather remarried, he adopted his step daughter. However, my father, even though motherless, was never adopted by my step grandmother.

After reading people's experiences in this book of families trying to merge with varying success, I was able to better reflect on my own family. This book helped me get my fathers pain all these years. All stemming from choices made by a step mother who chose not to adopt.

The subject matter here is ideal for writers. By definition, every relationship having a step-someone in it came about following death or divorce in the family -- so the universal themes of personal loss and renewal provide the overarching themes of each one of these pithy 7-to-10-page essays, which immerse us in the most profound of human struggles. I could have read dozens more of these stories of sundered and resurrected family ties, and fervently hope the editor will bring out a supplemental volume every year.