Customer Reviews

My Father and Myself (New York Review Books Classics)

5 star:		(5)
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3 star:		(1)
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I find I'm unable to start this review without falling upon a tired cliché, but the truth does seem stranger than fiction. Cliché aside-this is a fascinating account. Ackerley's self deprecatory style masks an uncommonly contagious wit. What masquerades as a tragic story reveals ultimately as a tale of lives lived to the fullest. The lives of the father and of the son--the story suggests these two lives were worlds apart. Between the lies and the lines, the real story suggests these lives were inextricable and extensional. The book cover illustrates to perfection the essence of the tale, its metaphors are both cogent and covert. Judge this book by its cover--it is as uniquely exquisite. Five stars to the publisher for bringing this book back in five star fashion. Read the introduction last!

The NYRB Classics series pretty much started out with a slew of reprints of the cult writer J.R. Ackerley, including his three memoirs (this, MY DOG TULIP and HINDOO HOLIDAY) and his one novel (WE THINK THE WORLD OF YOU). This, I would say, is easily his finest work. Ackerley's masterful reconstruction of his father's mysterious lovelife (comprising two unwed households and several unexplained longterm "friendships" with wealthy men) and his own conflicted sex life as a gay man in early twentieth-century London. Ackerley's tone always seems extremely honest, and while the narrative never comes to any absolute conclusions about Ackerley's father you're left convinced that these omissions and gaps are meaningful in and of themselves. This is as about a fine and interesting a memoir as I can imagine.

Ackerley, a subtle and unassuming writer, has lately been quietly adopted as a "gay" writer. The term seems to have had less meaning in Ackerley's time than in ours. "My Father and Myself" would perhaps have been, at the time it was written, a suspenseful tale; it is constructed almost as a mystery. The modern reader, alert to every faint whiff of suggested homosexuality, will have guessed the memoir's (un-)shattering conclusion well before he has reached the end. No matter: Ackerley could've written elegantly and compellingly about stock-car racing, or peeling paint; his material here--his father's past and his own youth--is of universal interest, and of particular interest to unhappy sons.

This is a beautifully written autobiography of a man breaking new literary ground. He openly wrote of his life as a gay man when it was ostensively illegal in GB, his search for love, and ultimately how he felt cut off from life. Each page aches with sadness, confusion, and need, never able to find what he wants from a human being, though he did late with his dog, Tulip, about which he wrote a classic book of love. There are quite unforgettable images thoughout the book, such as chance sexual encounters on a train ride with his mysterious father or the courtesies paid to him by his many lovers, such as a man with such bad smelling feet that he left his shoes on in bed. While there is a great deal of ironic humor in the book, its overall tone is one of loss, feeling lost in life and unloved in his many failed attempts to find a lasting partner. He also explores the mystery of his father, who hung out as a youth with a gay man he later knew as his landlord, and whom he never really knew or understood. It is a very moving book about an alien milieu and time, of a man hemmed in by inhibition and unfulfilled need.

This is one of the best books I've ever read. I've only just finished reading it for the second time. I'm still in shock and awe. Such a story. Such a candid and engaging chronicle of one man's life and also the life of his father.

Ackerley was a pioneer of "gay" literature. This is his masterpiece (without question). A more open and honest depiction of a gay man's sexual life (his likes and dislikes, his promiscuity, sexual incontinence, and his endless search for "the ideal friend")hadn't yet been written. Published the year after Ackerley's death, this book (and Crisp's "The Naked Civil Servant") clearly inspired a generation of gay writers.

Beautifully detailed, "My Father and Myself" is a unique memoir. I'd like to tell you all the details of the story, shocking and poignant. However, the pleasures this volume provides are in its revelations - to elaborate too much would spoil the fun. A soldier in WWI (and a prisoner of war), a lover of Ivor Novello, a private secretary to a Maharajah, a close friend of E. M. Forster - Ackerley's story is never dull or stodgy. "My Father and Myself" is a timeless treasure.

I just completely, thoroughly and totally enjoyed this book!!! I believe the author Andrew Holleran got me interested in J.R. Ackerley, as I think he said his favorite authors were Proust and Ackerley, so I thought I'd give Ackerley a try!! Such a candid, forthright book. Ackereley is a VERY good writer. I am so interested in him I am now reading Peter Parker's biography of him, plus ordered 2 other books by Ackerley and I will leave reviews or coments for them all after reading them.

This is a beautifully written autobiography of a man, which broke new literary ground. He openly wrote of his life as a gay man when it was illegal in GB, his search for love, and ultimately how he felt cut off from life. Each page aches with sadness, confusion, and need, never able to find what he wants from a human being, though he did later with his dog, Tulip, about which he wrote a classic book of requited love. There are quite unforgettable images thoughout the book, such as chance sexual encounters on a train ride with his mysterious father or the courtesies paid to him by his many lovers, such as a man with such bad smelling feet that he left his shoes on in bed. While there is a great deal of ironic humor in the book, its overall tone is one of loss, feeling lost in life and unloved in his many failed attempts to find a lasting partner. He also explores the mystery of his father, who hung out as a youth with a gay man he later knew as his landlord, and whom he never really knew or understood. It is a very moving book about an alien milieu and time, of a man hemmed in by inhibition and unfulfilled need.

My Father and Myself, by J.R. Ackerley, lends insight into the minds of two men, both curious and proud, both leading secret lives. The book, in reality, is two parallel stories that merge into one. Both stories attribute the same themes: upholding honor to one's family and self-worth; love; past lives; abandonment; and learning to accept truth, even if one is not prone to liking it, or respecting it. I like the way the book, written like a carefully plotted novel, is thoughtful in it's approach to building upon the "history" of both father and son while slowly revealing that both men had secrets. And each secret tells of a son's ultimate forgiveness of a father and a father's loyalty to his families, however way one looks at it. Clever in its approach, witty in its storytelling, My Father and Myself is a good read, one that allows the reader to dwelve into the pysche and lives of two men. The reader will learn something, too, as the book ultimately teaches a story about perception and reality.

The writing is very superior to most autobiographical works. Ackerley did not follow his father's footsteps and enter the business world but followed his own siren and became a poet, writer and editor (for the BBC). He is amongst my favorite authors. Animal lovers, especially dog lovers, should pick up "My Dog Tulip," a classic and now, possibly, has a cult following.

I'm always on the lookout for a good "dog book." I found MY DOG TULIP several years ago and really enjoyed it. Enough to then order and read WE THINK THE WORLD OF YOU. Both of these Ackerly books are five-star reads in my book. I wanted to know more about this author. And now I do. "Poor Joe" Ackerly was, it appears, an unhappy and frustrated man for most of his life. MY FATHER AND MYSELF was his tortured attempt to understand why his life was the way it was. Ackerly was gay in a time and a place when that kind of "other-ness" was not at all acceptable. He never felt good about himself. He enjoyed a reasonably good relationship with his bluff if impersonal "old dad," then found out upon his father's death that "old dad" had had another family, and was also probably homosexual - or bisexual - himself. I found myself wincing more than once in reading this book, not because of the content (and Ackerly is quite frank in describing his frustrated search for love in the seedy gay venues of 1920s-40s England and Europe), but becaus the author's pain and frustration was almost palpable. In addition to his repressed sexual life, he also felt a failure as an author, even though all three of his books were quite successful. MY FATHER AND MYSELF was published after Ackerly's death. He had worked on the book off and on for nearly thirty years. A sad, but extremely articulate and at times very moving portrait of the writer. I have his other book, HINDOO HOLIDAY, on my "to read" pile. Soon. - Tim Bazzett, author of Love, War & Polio