Customer Reviews

How to Father a Successful Daughter

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Marone, a high school math teacher, has done an excellent job of addressing the positive role that fathers have in preparing girls for success in many fields.

The book is also for mothers, teachers, and coaches trying to understand why a sudden shift in interest away from "science subjects" affects so many girls--and what we as adults can do about it.

I'm a scholastic chess coach. (I'm also female, and a successful tournament player.) My elementary clubs run about 50/50 boys and girls. By junior high, the female participation drops to 25% or lower.

None of the books I'd read about social development helped me as a teacher understand why this was occurring and what to do about it. We already had positive role models, a supportive school environment, good early training. We knew the girls COULD play chess--and so did they. The question was, why DIDN'T they?

Marone's book, a gift a friend received for Father's Day, opened my eyes. Although not described as a book for teachers, this book was tremendously helpful to me.

I recommend it to the parents (male and female) of all my students, and to many other teachers as well.

--Duif Calvin, author of "A Guide for Chess Fans and New Tournament Players," website http://www.jaderiver.com/chess

I am a father of a healthy, beautiful, self confident 10-year old girl, in part due to the guidance of this book. I read this book in 1989, when our daughter was one. It's been 9 years of sustained enthusiam, constant "I love yous", attention to every success my daughter has had and reinforcement in those sometimes difficult periods. The result is a self-confident, centered, outgoing and adventursome girl. So far so good. We'll see how the next 8 years develop.

This book, by the way, was published in 1988, NOT 1998 as the notes above indicate. It is also reflected in the books theme and attitude.

I have read three chapters so far and this is what I have gleaned from the book:
1) Your daughter will only be "successful" if she chooses male oriented occupations.
2) Your daughter will only be "successful" if she is a doctor, NOT a nurse. Heaven forbid she be a nurse, housewife, teacher.
3) Your daughter won't be "successful" if she goes to a coed school. Send her to a female only institution, that way she only has to compete against other girls.
4) Your daughter won't be a success without playing poker, chess or other strategy games. Don't even think of pulling out Dora or some other "girl" game.

Surely there must be better books for Dads to gain some info on theie daughters and ways to help them along as they grow. I could go on with more examples from this feminist rant, but frankly don't have the time. My daughter and I are going to kick the soccer ball.

And BTW, don't even let her enjoy an english class or play with dolls. Force her into that science and math slot. Sign her up for computer camp because we all know that PC's are designed strictly for boys.

I really feel this book is outdated, both in examples and most importantly, attitude. Try something different.

This is truly a fantastic read and well worth it if you are a dad who wants to be the best father possible. I may not agree with 100% of it, but who does with any book? Even if it just sheds some light on areas that you have not thought of before, it is worth it...your daughter is worth it. For me, it has brought a whole new level of self awareness when it comes to parenting and my interaction not only with my daughter but also with my son. Plus there are some great practicle ideas for those of us who are lacking in the creativity Thank you Nicky Marone!

This book is not specific only to the fathers; both parents should consider the material carefully. The main issue of this book is that we by ourselves are diminishing our daughters' abilities by upkeeping the dogmas about women that we've inherited from our parents. Examples of such beliefs are that girls are not good in sciences like math, are never possessing the necessary skill or talent to become a skilled professional in traditionally male (and thus higher paid) occupations. The differentiation of professions by gender is a dogma by itself.

The beginning of the book is quite noteworthy, the middle of it seemed to me to consist repetitions of previously said and kind of dull, but the ending of the book seemed deserving attention again.

The advises or the book couldn't be equally applied to all the cultures. Being an American author, Nicky Maroon had exposed the American gender gap that is deeper than it is in Russia, where Soviet Power since the beginning of 20th century took many efforts to gain the complete equality and liberty of women. Just estimate Lenin's publications on the status of women, or judge Olympic results. Former East Germany, the Soviet Union, and the Former Communist Bloc dominated women's running in the 70s and 80s, taking nearly 70% of the final placement points in those two decades in Olympic and world championship races.

Child development psychology does provide evidence that fathers involvement in their daughters lives have a noticeable positive effect on life outcomes. Having a father around does a service to a daughter.

Children growing up in single-parent households are at a significantly increased risk for drug abuse as teenagers.
--Source: Denton, Rhonda E. and Charlene M. Kampfe. "The relationship Between Family Variables and Adolescent Substance Abuse: A literature Review." Adolescence 114 (1994): 475-495.

Adolescent females between the ages of 15 and 19 years reared in homes without fathers are significantly more likely to engage in premarital sex than adolescent females reared in homes with both a mother and a father.
--Source: Billy, John O. G., Karin L. Brewster and William R. Grady. "Contextual Effects on the Sexual Behavior of Adolescent Women." Journal of Marriage and Family 56(1994): 381-404.

A survey of 720 teenage girls found:

97% of the girls said that having parents they could talk to could help reduce teen pregnancy.
93% said having loving parents reduced the risk.
76% said that their fathers were very or somewhat influential on their decision to have sex.

--Source: Clements, Mark. Parade. February 2, 1997.

Among teenage and adult populations of females, parental divorce has been associated with lower self-esteem, precocious sexual activity, greater delinquent-like behavior, and more difficulty establishing gratifying, lasting adult heterosexual relationships. It is especially intriguing to note that, in these studies, the parental divorce typically occurred years before any difficulties were observed

--Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children: A Developmental Vulnerability Model Neil Kalter, Ph.D., University of Michigan, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 57(4), October, 1987

This book is not for the loving Father that spends time with his daughter, gives her attention, wrestles with her, disciplines her, washes her hair, feeds her, takes her with him to putt putt, teaches her about football, softball, soccer and reads her fairytales before bedtime, takes her to Dr. appointments and makes her finish everything she starts.

This book has a list of successful women in the back. If one considers Gloria Steinem, a lesbian, manhating, abortion supporting woman a successful woman then by all means buy this book. Our idea of a successful daughter is one that is happy, honest, loving, compassionate, her cup is half full and she knows how to be a winner and a loser. This author seems to think if a man treats his daughter like a princess then she will not be a successful woman. Any man that treats his daughter like a princess within reason absolutely will reap a confident, outgoing daughter. Time and attention and never telling your daughter she cannot do something because she is a girl is all any Father needs to know. Don't waste your time reading this book, take your daughter out for lunch instead. A happy well rounded woman that contributes loving children and compassion to our society is our idea of a successful daughter, whether she is a mathmatician, housewife, secretary, school teacher or a stay at home mom.

I wish all fathers would read this