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Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child Paperback – May 8, 2001

4.6 out of 5 stars 16 customer reviews

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"The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting"
A radically transformative plan that shows parents how to raise children to be their best, truest selves, from the best-selling author of "The Conscious Parent." Learn more | Kindle book
$15.19 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. Only 6 left in stock (more on the way). Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A pioneer in the field of fatherhood research, Yale child psychiatrist Pruett (The Nurturing Father) draws on his own groundbreaking longitudinal study of men as primary caregivers, as well as the findings of others, in this exploration of how fathering affects both children and men. "Men are the single greatest untapped resource in the lives of American children," he contends, building a solid case for recognizing and supporting this unique and critical connection. Pruett champions the early involvement of fathers, showing how infants are "prewired" for attachment to both men and women, and explains the lifelong benefits of this mutually dependent relationship, which he calls "fatherneed," and the vital role it plays in both child development and the emotional and physical well-being of men. Showing how a healthy father-child relationship complements rather than competes with that of the mother and child, Pruett offers a host of pointers for negotiating the various stages of childhood, from infancy and toddlerhood through the early school years, adolescence ("chase your children down occasionally, buy them lunch, and listen") and young adulthood. Pruett writes with an easy grace, and his warmly relaxed style is studded with humor. Thoughtful, inspiring and eminently practical, this one belongs at the top of the "must have" list for every father. (Jan.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

This is a well-researched book about the role of fathers. Pruett (psychiatry, Yale Medical Sch.), a well-known columnist and the author of The Nurturing Father, looks at fathers in various family situations--intact families where both parents work, intact families where fathers are primary caretakers, families in which the father is a single parent, families in which mothers have primary custody--and among a variety of cultures. His conclusions emphasize the importance of fathers in the growth of their children. He does not, however, minimize the mother's role; Pruett believes that fathers bring different assets to childrearing than mothers and feels that the mother's relationship with her children is improved by the active role of the father. Extensive notes document recent research. This important book will not only interest scholars and students but also parents who want to learn more about effective family relationships. Recommended for all libraries.
-Kay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 258 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony (May 8, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 076790737X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767907378
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #160,356 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Aubrey A. Anderson on February 11, 2007
Format: Paperback
I used this book as the primary text for a class on Fatherhood at the University of Utah. It is very easy to read and useful. I've recommended it to others and passed it on and they agree. It has language that is easy to understand and thus works well as a text for University study or as a self-improvement advice book. His lists of ideas and recommendations are important. I really hope that this book is not removed from print as I have heard it may be.
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It says something of our culture that we need books noting that fathers are important to parenting. This was no surprise to my parents, or their parents, but somehow it is now. This book is well researched, and offers good, tight argument in favor of fathers as parents, with useful ideas. It has a little more research and less how to than I would have liked. My favorite book on parenting is currently only available in German, titled something like Blossoming the Child, I understand it will come out in English next year. I won't repeat what other positive reviewers said. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know is also very good.
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I was involved with Child Protective Services and I had a lot of emotional issues. While in counseling, I felt absolutely devastated by my own abusive actions and questioned everything I felt like doing as a parent. This book helped me rebuild my confidence; I came to realize that as a man, I care for my children in different ways than their mother. I am now a safe dad and learned to trust my intuition to teach my children and guide their independence. It helped me identify the nurturing tools that I didn't realize I had. It was fairly easy to read and I would highly recommend that any dad who is concerned about being a better father to read it.
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Having read the 1 star review of this book I can agree with the manner in which the book was written, and Dr Pruett's seemingly errant writing. But there is something far more fundamental and vital here beneath first glance assessment.

I read his first book The Nurturing Father at a time when I was acutely aware of my lack of fathering ability. My mother died before I turned 12, my father died when I was 35 and my four children were under the age of 12, all my grandparents deceased. I had nowhere to go for insight or advice. Both these books became reference material, study guides, and ultimately paradigm shifts for me. As a gift to my son when he began his journey as a young father it made him functional where he otherwise would have floundered. For the husband who is seeking to transcend the limitations of his upbringing Pruett's findings are essential reading.

The most illuminating concept I gleaned from this book in particular (against the backdrop of his previous one) is how vital the transference of bonding is from mother to father beginning when a child is born. If this does not take place, the relationship between husband and wife, and parent to child is unlikely to develop in full potential. From what I have observed of Western parenting (over a half century), neither husbands nor wives are fully cognizant of the influence the mother has in the transition of a man from husband to father. It is a process that is really a journey, both for the husband and the wife. It is true that fathers who are facilitated by their wives to bond with their child, rarely abuse them.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Some of the information is a little dated, there is a lot of information that still holds true today. Lots of value here. Don't buy this book if you're looking for a step by step guide for parenting. This book only gives that a surface treatment with some bullet points about how to handle certain situations, but nothing that goes very deep. Also, this book is very heavy on research language, and it's clear that the intended audience is not necessarily young, or less educated readers. Some of the language is a little heavy, but there is a lot of good information in this book regardless. The author is credible and makes good arguments. If you can get past the generalizations made (which is impossible to avoid in a big picture book like this) that may not apply to you, then this book will be extremely helpful. I personally like that the language is a little heavy because it gives the book added credibility. Pruett also ties the work of other psychologists, sociologists, and research groups into his arguments witch also adds credibility. If you took any sociology or psychology classes in high school or college then what you read here probably won't surprise you. All things considered, I still learned a few things from this book.
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I took a course in college on Fatherhood. This was the main book the teaching material was based on. I loved the course and book so much and I try to give it out as wedding and baby shower gifts to everyone I know. I HIGHLY recommend this book.
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This book gave me a new perspective that fathers should embrace their unique style of parenting instead of trying to emulate mom. The first chapter gave me more confidence to handle and play with my four month old son. It went on to expand my understanding a father's role and how to think about parenting through adulthood. This is the book that I did not know that I needed.
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