Customer Reviews

Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I used this book as the primary text for a class on Fatherhood at the University of Utah. It is very easy to read and useful. I've recommended it to others and passed it on and they agree. It has language that is easy to understand and thus works well as a text for University study or as a self-improvement advice book. His lists of ideas and recommendations are important. I really hope that this book is not removed from print as I have heard it may be.

Pruett's attempt at expanding what could have been a chapter in an academic text into a self-help book for the masses is admirable. Yes, I think fathers and fathers-in-waiting should skim the book. Some sloppy work: doesn't the author know the difference between Penn and Penn State? But overall, makes a good case, if you can excuse the gratuitous fawning over "single mothers." The "as you'll read in the next chapter" stuff was annoying.

I think this book reflects a courageous effort, with a lot of hard work clearly involved, to repair the breach in fatherhood that has been created over the last several thousand years as men became increasingly focused on seeking to compete with and dominate other men for resources and controlling women, and, in the process, lost their access to their emotions and their confidence as fathers. Or some measure of breach may always have been there due to conscious or subconscious doubts about paternity that were present on a cultural level as well as in individual families. The fact that the only power women have had has been as mothers has also unfortunately led them to let men be crowded out of parenting.

Dr. Pruett does a very good job showing how this breach can be repaired, and is being repaired, by many compassionate, caring, respectful Dads here in the last few decades (assisted by the work many women now do to earn money for their families on a scale greater than that in the past). The fact that paternity can be proven - and disproven is helpful as well.

As someone who grew up with a dominator type father, and has spent much of my life trying to survive without getting what I needed from my father and working hard to overcome that harm, I highly recommend this book to mothers and fathers.

I also suggest that many men may benefit from psychotherapy, counseling, support groups, etc., to look at whether there is any harm or unmet need in their own relationships with their fathers (or their mothers as well, of course) that they have buried. I suspect that bringing that to the surface may be necessary in some cases, unfortunately, to allow you to be free enough to learn a new way to father your children?

In this book,so much can be learned about why our children end up doing the things they do, and having the self identity problems they have. I now see that fathers have a connection with their children, not only socially, but in a much deeper sence. This is a must read for all fathers!

Dr. Pruett deals with the essential need for fathering in a warm, thoughtful, easily readable form. A must read for all parents.

I was involved with Child Protective Services and I had a lot of emotional issues. While in counseling, I felt absolutely devastated by my own abusive actions and questioned everything I felt like doing as a parent. This book helped me rebuild my confidence; I came to realize that as a man, I care for my children in different ways than their mother. I am now a safe dad and learned to trust my intuition to teach my children and guide their independence. It helped me identify the nurturing tools that I didn't realize I had. It was fairly easy to read and I would highly recommend that any dad who is concerned about being a better father to read it.

I have read many books on the topic and this seems to talk directly to me. No mushy stuff, directly to the point. I also like the fact that it really challenges fathers to take more active role as everyday parent with children.

A very repetitive book which is amazing in its poor scholarship and very selective interpretation of research. The intent of the author is to show us all how very, very important fathers are, and he takes this chant to an extreme that is almost humorous in its degree of excess. The generalizations he makes about fathers and how they interact with their children only are true in a minority of the families I know; in most families, there is a mixture of styles depending on the personalities of parents and children. In my own case, I don't relate to his generalities at all, and don't see his pronouncements reflected in my own family.