Customer Reviews

Fathers of a Certain Age: The Joys and Problems of Middle-Aged Fatherhood

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This is the only book of its kind. Millions of men become fathers at 40, 50 or more, which is something that nature has designed us to do. But there is very little information on what the issues are or how best to cope.

The book has some statistics but mostly anecdotes of specific families with either delayed or remarried fatherhood. It gives some glimpses of societal changes as we all live longer and healthier and so may have children later.

It has excellent breadth, taking in subjects of stepkids, may-december marriage, adoption, fathers-at-home, etc.

The writing is clear and it's an easy read.

This book is well written, although perhaps too academic in nature for my tastes. But I thought it would be more helpful to me for my situation than it was. I am 40 and expecting my first child early next year. I'm seeking information that will help me be appropriately supportive of my wife and a better father for my child. If I had known the book spent so much time comparing how fathers raised their second families with how they raised their older children I would not have bothered.

Perhaps I'm just not in the target demographic for this book, and perhaps I will re-read it in a few years and get some insights that escaped me this time around. But I just didn't find it very helpful.

I would recommend that men who are starting second families read this book, but those who have never been through a wife's pregnancy should look elsewhere.

This book hit it on the nail in so many ways. My partner and I have a 26year age gap and have question so much in the last 4years. This book helped us find so many answers to our questions concerning having children together and about our relationship. Since this topic isn't a subject that is easily conformed at the dinner table, I feel like I am normal in how I feel as does my partner. We don't feel like we are the only ones feeling the way we do now!

Some of the basic questions that it helped us through was how the child might feel having an older parent? How society might treat us? Death and divorce...all major topics in a relationship that are hard to talk about to anyone.

A lot of the book concentrated on second time children...having older children(in their twenties) and having young children(children under 10)at the same time. This doesn't really apply to us, but it was interesting reading. It even included a section on adapotion which was very interesting as well.

I hope this book can help other people as much as it has helped my partner and I.

If you have fathered children after age 40 (or are considering doing so), buy "Fathers of a Certain Age" and actually read it.

Subtitled "The Joys and Problems of Middle-aged Fatherhood," the book really focuses on recycled dads -- men who have fathered multiple generations of children. It explores why men decide to re-enter the parenting cycle at an advanced age and the impacts of their decisions on their "first children," their wives and their younger children.

This book is full of solid research and well-argued analysis but stays grounded in humanity, thanks to an abundance of stories and quotes from fathers, mothers and first- and second-generation children. These stories are quite candid and often very touching. Not all of them have happy endings. The authors share their own experiences, too -- at the beginning, to explain their motivations and their connections to the topic, and at the end, to make the point that they did not agree with each other 100 percent in their observations or conclusions while writing the book.

I had many `aha' moments while reading this book -- in the `researchy' parts as well as the personal stories. I found plausible explanations for what I am doing and experiencing as a recycled dad, and some important insights about how my wife, my older sons and my preschool-age son must feel about the life we all have together. This book will help you better understand yourself and the people you care about.

The authors seem well qualified to tackle this topic, not only by virtue of their family circumstances but also by virtue of their professions. Martin is a Stanford professor and has authored other books; David is a professional writer and editor. At the time "Fathers" was published (first edition 1994), David and his brother were in their late 20s, and Martin's daughter (from his second marriage) was 3 years old.

The balance of thorough analysis and a strikingly human perspective makes "Fathers" a very engaging read. I can't recommend it highly enough.