Customer Reviews

A Father's Kisses

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From THE DICK by Bruce Jay Friedman: "Most remarkable of all was man's prostate gland. In an effort to eliminate all traces of sex and age, racket men would toss their victim into a shack and burn it to the ground. Yet the prostate never burned. Though all about it lay in cinders, the stalwart little gland would inevitably be found, vigorous, unvanquished, in mint condition, ready to sing to the high heavens about the victim's age, sex, and other evidential goodies."

From A FATHER'S KISSES by Bruce Jay Friedman: "Taking a seat in an overstuffed chair, I picked up one of the magazines that had been thoughtfully supplied by the management. As luck would have it, the feature article dealt with the unpredictability of the prostate gland, and after reading a few paragraphs, I saw that it tied in nicely with my theory of the role of the prostate gland in historical decision-making. Such leaders as the French general Joseph Gallieni and our own Ulysses S. Grant, for example, had suffered from this painful malady and often made questionable decisions because it had kicked up on them. Had the top British naval commander in the Revolutionary War--I forget his name--not had to be shipped back to London for treatment of his prostate woes, we might still be a colony today--and not a mighty nation. The author of the article did not have the advantage of knowing about any of that, but he did have a breezy style, and I was enjoying the article thoroughly when I became aware that the Moues had joined me on the landing."

Remember when Michael Herr made mention of a Vietnam-war soldier who had the nickname "SWINGIN' DICK" written on his helmet? (In full caps, no less.) Well, check out the following line from A FATHER'S KISSES: "A group of marchers wearing John Wayne masks sauntered by with Stetsons on their penises, carrying signs that said: BIG SWINGING DICKS." And what that is is nothing more than an innocent homage and I don't wanna hear anything more about it.

It's a shame that this is out of print, because it's the funniest book I've ever read. Nothing funny really happens in the book; the humor all lies in the droll narration. It's really unbelievable.