- Paperback: 358 pages
- Publisher: American Psychological Association (APA); 1 edition (January 1, 1999)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1557987203
- ISBN-13: 978-1557987204
- Product Dimensions: 10 x 7 x 0.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #58,950 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.
Fear of Intimacy 1st Edition
Use the Amazon App to scan ISBNs and compare prices.
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
More About the AuthorsDiscover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.
Top Customer Reviews
Firestone explains that "the major problem in interpersonal relationships is each person's psychological defences based on destructive voice processes and the distortions each partner introduces into the relationship". Firestone introduces two major concepts: the FANTASY BOND and VOICE.
The fantasy bond is the primary defense a child formed in facing pain and anxiety. Children who are deprived of emotional sustenance compensate themselves with fantasy gratification, by forming an imagined fusion 'fantasy bond' with the mother or parenting figure, and later in life, the adult continues to make fantasized connections in intimate associations.
The voice, a secondary defense, functions to support and confirm a person's retreat into an inward fantasy state. For example, the person imagines: "I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone else. I am my own parent." And later in life, some of the destructive voices which adult couples bring into their relationships like "You're unattractive and uninteresting. Why would he(she) want to go out with you".... "Don't fool yourself. He doesn't care about you."....
I need to put down the book from time to time while reading it. I need some pauses to reflect about my own inner voices. I agree that it is a long journey, and there is no quick fix. Self-awareness is the first step to rectify our own repetitive destructive patterns, and reading this book can be a good starting point.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
eye opener! helped me to dump my energy vampire ex with no regrets..Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
Sure you need to have a good background in psychology, in other words, not just introductory psych that you took as a survey course in college. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Chazz at Jefferson's U
This book sounded promising according to other reviews but it had absolutely had nothing to do with my situation. Not a good buy for me.Published 6 months ago by Ellen Jacobs
I could not get much out of this book. Perhaps it was the style of writing and the way the information was laid out. Read morePublished 6 months ago by John C.
This book triggered something in my brain called 'cosmic consciousness.' I went 'crazy' because I delved deep into my mind and fixed it from the ground up. Read morePublished 10 months ago by Zebobez