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Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work
 
 
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Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work [Hardcover]

David D. Burns M.D. (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)


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Book Description

December 30, 2008

Simple, Powerful Techniques that Make Relationships Work

"Why won’t my husband ever express his feelings?"
“Why won’t my wife listen?"
“Why is my sister such a control freak?"
"Why does my ex act like such a total jerk?"
“What’s wrong with people?”

We all have someone we can’t get along with—whether it’s a friend or colleague who complains constantly, a relentlessly critical boss, an obnoxious neighbor, a teenager who pouts and slams doors (all the while insisting she’s not upset), or maybe a loving, but irritating spouse.

In his bestselling book, Feeling Good, Dr. David Burns introduced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a clinically proven, drug-free therapy that has revolutionized the treatment of clinical depression throughout the world. Now, in Feeling Good Together, he presents Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy, a radical new approach that will help you transform troubled, conflicted relationships into successful, happy ones.

Dr. Burns’ method for improving these relationships is easy and surprisingly effective. In Feeling Good Together, you’ll learn:
How to stop pointing fingers at everyone else and start looking at yourself.
How to pinpoint the exact cause of the problem with any person you’re not getting along with.
How to solve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly.

Based on twenty-five years of clinical experience and groundbreaking research on more than 1,000 individuals, Feeling Good Together presents an entirely new theory of why we have so much trouble getting along with each other. The book is filled with helpful examples and brilliant, user-friendly tools such as the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Relationship Journal, the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and more, so you can enjoy far more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you care about.

You deserve rewarding, intimate relationships. Feeling Good Together will show you how.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Feeling Good Together from mental-health professionals:

“This is the finest work of its kind and will stand for generations as the relationship book."
--Matthew May, MD, adjunct clinical faculty, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine

Feeling Good Together should be required reading for all couples who want to create a happy, healthy relationship.” --Tori Kelley, PhD, LMHC, owner, Central Florida Mental Health, Inc.

“Finally, a relationship repair tool kit without fluff or camouflage. Change is a choice for brave and daring souls. Thank you, Dr. Burns!” --Nancy Ellen Lee, MFT, PhD

“Implementing these ideas has been truly life changing. It works!” --Mischa Routon, MFT

“The relationship strategies in this book are simple but profound. This is Dr. Burns’s most seminal work. “ --Jan Stanfield, MFT/LCSW

“A powerful set of tools (and even a tool kit) to evaluate, repair, or enhance our relationships. Feeling Good Together is destined to become a classic.” --Hugh Baras, PhD, adjunct clinical assistant professor, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine

About the Author

David D. Burns, MD, is an adjunct clinical professor of psychiatry emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, and has served as Visiting Scholar at Harvard Medical School. His bestselling book, Feeling Good, has sold over four million copies.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype; 1 edition (December 30, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767920708
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767920704
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.4 x 9.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #229,673 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David D. Burns, M.D., a clinical psychiatrist, conveys his ideas with warmth, compassion, understanding, and humor unmatched by any other writer in the self-help field. His bestselling Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy has sold more than three million copies to date. In a recent national survey of mental health professionals, Feeling Good was rated number one--from a list of more than one thousand--as the most frequently recommended self-help book on depression. His Feeling Good Handbook was rated number two in the same survey.

Dr. Burns's entertaining teaching style has made him a popular lecturer for general audiences and mental health professionals throughout the country as well as a frequent guest on national radio and television programs. He has received numerous awards including the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology Through the Media Award from the Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology. A magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Amherst College, Dr. Burns received his medical degree from the Stanford University School of Medicine. He is currently clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine and is certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

 

Customer Reviews

16 Reviews
5 star:
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4 star:
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3 star:
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2 star:
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1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (16 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This book presents all of his teachings on marriage in one well organized place, April 8, 2009
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This review is from: Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work (Hardcover)
This is an excellent book for a person who wants to improve their relationship with others and most especially with their spouse. And yes, I have read the entire book. Only one person needs to read the book and apply the learning. That is enough to start a chain reaction throughout the relationship. Dr. Burns also shows how these same principles apply to less important relationships. If you have read all of his other books and listened to his training tapes you may not read much that is new but he has put it all together in one spot with thorough explanations and examples for all to learn and benefit from. As a marriage therapist this book is included in my bibliography.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Brings people together !, January 17, 2009
This review is from: Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work (Hardcover)
This is another classic from David burns on how to solve relationship problems. He explores in depth the causes that divide people and cause so much mental agony. Note this book in no way insists that one should have relationships with everyone. The book takes a bold look at how we create the very problems we complain. Dogmatically sticking to Truth is the biggest one.
David burns having dealt with depression and anxiety issues in past takes a radically different approach for relationship problems. This is great book not to be missed for anyone having troubled relationships. 5 stars


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19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is an outstanding choice for anyone dealing with relationship problems., March 15, 2010
This review is from: Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work (Hardcover)
Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work
Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

Burns' previous book, Feeling Good, sold over four million copies; this book has the potential of doing the same. It is outstanding. In this 255-page book, there are six parts and 30 chapters -- approximately 8½ pages per chapter. Some of the intriguing chapter titles include, "Why We Secretly Love to Hate," "Three Ideas That Can Change Your Life," "How Good Is Your Relationship? The Relationship Satisfaction Test," "The Price of Intimacy," "Good Communication vs. Bad Communication," "How We Control Other People," "The Five Secrets of Effective Communication," "The Disarming Technique," "Intimacy Traing for Couples: The One-Minute Drill," Part Five, "Common Traps--How to Avoid Them," and "Positive Reframing: Opening the Door to Intimacy--and Success." You can see, just from the titles, how the information he presents is directly tied to questions, problems, and issues that all couples face. The beauty of the book, however, and the practical, realistic tools Burns offers readers apply to all relationships, whether they are spouse, family, friends, or co-workers. I have always found Burns' approach to readers direct, interesting, warm, and engaging, and his "radically different approach" in this book is labeled "Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy," and if my interpersonal textbook had continued (the seventh edition of it was the last), I would have incorporated his basic principles of CIT in my textbook: 1) "We all provoke and maintain the exact relationship problems that we complain about." 2) "We deny our own role in the conflict because self-examination is so shocking and painful, and because we're secretly rewarded by the problem we're complaining about." 3) "We all have far more power than we think to transform troubled relations--if we're willing to stop blaming the other person and focus instead on changing ourselves" (p. 36). The tables, bulleted points, suggested steps, and examples are helpful, realistic, and worthwhile. For anyone having relationship problems, wanting to avoid relationship problems, or wanting to know what kind of advice to give to others, this is an outstanding choice.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
disarming technique, thought empathy, parentheses after each sentence, negative feel ings, confl ict, defi cits, bad communication
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Relationship Journal, Revised Response, Five Secrets of Effective Communication, Positive Reframing, One Minute Drill, Feeling Empathy, Feeling Words, Intimacy Workshops, Changing the Focus, Intimacy Exercise, Common Communication Errors, Anger Phobia, Blame Cost Benefi, San Francisco, Law of Opposites, Change the Focus, Multiple Choice Empathy, Self Defeating Beliefs
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Surprise Me!
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