Most helpful critical review
47 of 64 people found the following review helpful
dumbed down, way too long...
on February 25, 2010
There are some core points in this book that are likely to help many people in their relationships. Probably most important is the need to look critically at oneself and acknowledge one's own shortcomings, and to fully digest the other's point of view. But the book goes on and on with the same few points, and gives lengthy examples and anecdotes that just don't ring true and sound almost childish. The typical scenario describes a person being attacked verbally and responding along the lines of "You're right. I'm bad. I see how I've hurt you." In the book, this usually magically defuses the situation and the attacker suddenly recognizes their own flaws. In fairness, the author does address what to do when giving in doesn't work (though he doesn't call it giving in... you have to actually see and accept the criticism... somehow). But the language is, well, dumb. It just didn't feel like it was written for thinking adults. And, really, the message of the book could have been delivered at about a third the length.