Chapter 5
Salem woke up shouting, "Troops! Advance on the enemy! Attack!"
He had been dreaming again about taking over the mortal realm. It was a wonderful dream. This time he won the war and was just about to be crowned King of Every Single Thing when he suddenly woke up.
Smiling to himself, he stretched. Then he opened his eyes.
He blinked in surprise. He was in another wire cage! It was just like the one he had been locked into inside the van. It was one of several placed in a row, with more cages stacked on top. It was kind of like a cage apartment building.
What a horrible invention, he thought, shuddering.
Beyond the gate to his cage was a spotless, dark gray concrete floor. About five feet away another row of cages faced his. Several of the cages contained dogs, including a large black-and-white Dalmatian that stared curiously at Salem. Another cage held a big-eyed raccoon. Two long brown ferrets were locked up next to each other on the other side of the Dalmatian.
Beside the row of cages, in a bird cage on a pedestal, a brilliantly colored parrot squawked, "Troops! Attack! Awk!"
Salem frowned, then said, "Where am I?"
"We're in prison," Antonio said unhappily. He sat in the cage on Salem's right. His hind leg was wrapped in bandages.
"They brought us in while you were still asleep."
"Asleep!" Salem cried. "I was not...okay, I did fall asleep," he admitted. "I'm not used to so much physical activity. What did they do to you?" He gestured at Antonio's bandages.
"I scraped my leg when you knocked me out of the way," Antonio said. "Not that I am blaming you, of course. You saved my life."
"Yes." And I never get tired of being thanked for things like that, Salem thought.
"The night keeper bandaged it himself," Antonio said, his eyes going soft and dreamy. "His name is Howard. He's nice, for a jailer."
"Well, I'm glad this Howard looked after you." Salem frowned. "But he must have noticed that I'm a cat. Why'd he lock me up?"
"He decided you must be a house cat," Antonio explained. "He thought it would be cruel to let you out."
"Cruel?" Salem was confused. "How can giving me my freedom be cruel?"
"He said you looked like you were lost," Antonio told him. "He was afraid you wouldn't make it back home in one piece."
Antonio lowered his voice. "He said it's a jungle out there, my friend."
"Well, it is. But not the kind of jungle we fought in during our quest for world domination," Salem said, sighing. "That one was full of trees and snakes. This one is full of cars and Doberman pinschers."
He looked around. "In the movies the prisoners always get to make one phone call. I'll just phone Sabrina and ask her to come get us."
"No phone calls for us, amigo," Antonio reminded him. "We're animals, remember?"
Salem flopped over on his side. "Oh, this is just great," he grumbled. "The reunion begins tomorrow. I have a thousand things to do to prepare for it, and I'm stuck in the slammer!"
"It's always hard for the new ones," said the dog across from Salem. He was a tall and muscular Dalmatian, white with lots of black spots all over his body. One of his eyes was surrounded by black, while the fur around the other one was white.
"Welcome to the dog pound," he said. "It's really not so bad. Unless you're used to something better."
"I am. Hey!" Salem cocked his head. "You're talking."
"It's very strange," the dog mused. "Suddenly we can all talk."
"We can all talk!" the parrot chirped.
The Dalmatian grinned at Salem. "Well, Polly just repeats everything we say. But she's always been able to do that."
"When did this happen?" Salem asked.
"Earlier today," the Dalmatian told him. "A few hours before they brought you two in."
"Salem," Antonio said quietly, "it must be from when Emilio cast the 'talking animal' spell."
"I think it's fabuloso," said a sultry voice. Salem craned his neck to see through the mesh into the cage on the other side of Antonio. It was another Chihuahua. Only this one wore a sparkly jeweled collar adorned with a pastel pink bow. And from the look on Antonio's face, she was a lovely girl, for a dog.
"This is Señorita Maria Tacquito," Antonio said to Salem. "We had a long chat while you were asleep. She used to be a TV star!"
"Commercials," she drawled. "Fast food, mostly. I even had my own T-shirts." She sighed, rose, and scratched herself.
She continued, "I tried to move into films, but it didn't work out. I decided to spend some time away from Hollywood, so I came to the East Coast. And now I'm stuck in this fleabag joint!"
"We'll get you out," Antonio said. "Won't we, my fearless leader?"
All eyes turned toward Salem.
Uh-oh!
Salem was about to answer when footsteps rang on the floor. The other animals got to their paws or claws and arched their necks in the direction of a large closed door to Salem's right.
"It's Howard," the Dalmatian announced.
"He's bringing our dinner."
"Awk! Polly want a cracker!" the parrot clucked.
"We'll escape as soon as possible. Right, Salem?" Antonio said urgently.
Salem's mouth began to water. Dinner! How wonderful. He was starving.
"Sure, Antonio. Right after we eat," he promised. After all, he reasoned, fearless leaders hatch better escape plans after a nice, big meal.
Or else they fall asleep, he added. Howard the keeper was just about to open the door.
"Okay, listen up and listen good,"
Salem said to the others. "Do not talk around humans. You'll get into more trouble than you can imagine."
"It sounds as if you've learned that lesson the hard way," the Dalmatian said.
"Believe me, I have." Salem rolled his eyes. The stories I could tell this group!
"Me, too," Antonio said. "The stories I could tell you!"
"All right, then." The Dalmatian nodded. "We'll follow your example. Okay, everybody?"
"Okeydokey," the raccoon piped.
"Yessiree, Bob!" a Pekingese joined in.
"Mum's the word!" a third voice chirruped. Before Salem could hush them, all the animals were very noisily agreeing to be quiet.
But everyone fell silent as soon as the door opened. Howard was a young man about six feet tall, wearing a sweatshirt that read BOSTON COLLEGE and a pair of well-worn jeans. He was pushing an aluminum cart containing several metal bowls with one hand and holding a thick book with the other. He was reading the book intently. Salem sniffed the air expectantly and murmured, "Tuna. It's what's for dinner. Oh, please, please, please."
The man put down his book and picked up a dish of food. He went to the first cage on the row facing Salem and bent down.
"Evening, Delilah," the man said to the Pekingese inside the first cage as he carefully opened the gate. "Here's your kibble."
The dog named Delilah opened her mouth, glanced at Salem, and said, "Woof." Then she dived into the bowl and started gobbling.
Hmm. So at least they feed the prisoners well around here, Salem thought eagerly.
"And here's yours, Fireplug," he said to the Dalmatian.
The man put dishes down inside all the cages on the bottom row. There was dog food for the dogs, some fruit for the raccoon, and rabbit food for the ferrets. The parrot received birdseed.
But when the man got to Salem's cage, he frowned and said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Kitty, but we don't have any cat food today. I can give you dog food, though." He smiled kindly. "How would you like that?"
Yuck! Salem thought. He hunkered down and put his chin on his front paws.
"Why don't you try it?" Howard asked as he opened Salem's cage. He set down a bowl of dull brown cubes and a dish of water. Salem paid him very little attention.
The black cat was trying to see if he could squeeze his way past the man's arm and dart out of the cage. He looked down at himself and sighed. He was a little too big. Make that formerly well-fed.
"I hope you enjoy it," Howard said sincerely. Then he moved on to the next animal.
Salem stuck a paw in the bowl. The dry squares of food held no appeal at all.
He sighed and shook his head. There was no way he could eat this stuff.
"Good night, guys," the man said as he wheeled the cart back through the open door. He was back to reading his book.
About a minute later he returned and said, "Whoops." He shut the door.
"Hey," Salem called to the raccoon. "Why aren't you eating?"
"Oh, I just don't each much these days. I'm pretty sad, being cooped up here," the raccoon answered, wiping his face with his hands.
"Humph." Salem sighed. I wish I could get his food. He was very hungry.
He looked at Antonio and said, "How can you eat that stuff?"
"It's a challenge," Antonio answered honestly. "But you should try to eat. You'll need your strength."
"No way," Salem said. "I'll just starve myself and then they'll have to let me go."
Hey! That's it!
He raised himself up. "Like generations of prisoners before me, I'm protesting these conditions. I'm on a hunger strike!"
Copyright © 1999 by Viacom Productions, Inc.
