Felix and the Sacred Thor [Paperback]

James Steele (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 13, 2010

HUMANITY'S FATE IS IN THE HANDS OF HE WHO WIELDS THE SACRED THOR! "Epic quests don't involve the internet or TV! They involve sex toys and manly, hard-bodied, larger-than-life heroes defying physics, logic and insurmountable odds, spitting out quotable, highly marketable catchphrases all the while!" -The Sacred Horse Felix might not quite fit this description, but he's trying. After retrieving the most powerful weapon in the world from the Sacred Horse and proving himself a pervert of the purest heart, he sets upon an epic quest to destroy the kamikaze alien invaders poised to eliminate the entire human race. Invaders have implanted themselves in the college graduates standing in unemployment lines-the very backbone of the nation's economy. They've positioned themselves in the city's grease transmission system, without which America will starve to death in minutes. They threaten the digital children, who cannot survive without their Internet connections. They even threaten Bob. College taught Felix how to please a horse. It didn't prepare him for the challenge of using an upgradeable horse dildo as a weapon to free himself from his tyrannical bosses at work and become a warrior for humanity.

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book is why bizarro exists as a genre because there is no other category that could come close to classifying Steele's weird book. --Anita Dalton, ireadoddbooks.com

An out-and-out fairytale for grown-ups that completely breaks with reality quite early in the story. --Jason Pettus, cclapcenter.com

This story is so far into the realm of weird that you go 'what the?' but you can't pull away from reading it. The character of Felix alone will want you to come back and read more. --sonar4landingdockreviews.blogspot.com

From the Inside Flap

This book is why bizarro exists as a genre because there is no other category that could come close to classifying Steele's weird book. --Anita Dalton, ireadoddbooks.com

An out-and-out fairytale for grown-ups that completely breaks with reality quite early in the story. --Jason Pettus, cclapcenter.com

This story is so far into the realm of weird that you go 'what the?' but you can't pull away from reading it. The character of Felix alone will want you to come back and read more. --sonar4landingdockreviews.blogspot.com

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 104 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 13, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1936383233
• ISBN-13: 978-1936383238
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.2 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,935,244 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I build worlds across multiple genres including sci-fi, bizarro, non-traditional fantasy, dark fantasy, anthropomorphics, and a little bit of horror.

I have much to say. I write for everyone willing to listen. Anyone who is willing to look at the world as I see it.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars If You Dig Cameron Pierce, You'll Like James Steele... November 28, 2010

By Nicole Cushing

Format:Paperback

Ay, ay, ay...what to say about FELIX AND THE SACRED THOR. What CAN I say about this work without using naughty words, and without looking like a gibbering fool who has gone full-tilt loony?

Let us just say this. You guys all know about He-Man...the '80s cartoon character, right? Well...He-Man had, I...you know...a SWORD right. And it was MAGIC and he used it to beat up evil-doers.

Well FELIX is sort of like He-Man, in that he, too, has a magical weapon. A sword-like implement. Only INSTEAD of a sword, his weapon is what might be called a "marital aid". And not just any marital aid. This one is shaped like the...um...MEMBER of a horse. And, readers are informed, in the slang of the furry community, this particular type of rubber member is called a THOR.

Ohhhhhhhh! I see a thousand light bulbs going off over heads. Yes, this book has nothing to do with the popular Marvel superhero/Norse legend and everything to do with marital aids shaped like animal members.

In a scene evocative of Arthurian legend, Felix is summoned to EXTRACT the rubber member from the private area of a REAL horse. And not just ANY real horse. A SACRED HORSE, who sacrificed his real member for the salvation of humanity. How do we know he is a SACRED horse? At the moment Felix retrieves his X-Rated-Excalibur, the skies part and a choir of angels sings.

The Sacred Horse instructs Felix that his mission is to overcome an alien threat. It turns out that alien threat is a legion of toasters equipped with miniature explosive devices. Some of them are implanted in their victims without the victims even knowing it. Others fly around.

Okay...so that's the basic set-up. Now, what else can I tell you about this book?

Steele does a great job of building a world that delivers a powerful satiric, absurd pay-off. In the process, he also provides some effective social commentary on the consumer-culture of big box stores, social media and internet life, and the employment struggles of college graduates in the economic downturn. He also offers a nifty deconstruction of the entire hero/epic/quest subgenre in fantasy and superhero fiction.

This book is not for the faint of heart, but perfect for Bizarro fans who enjoy a double-dose of transgression with their weird. For example, I think readers of Cameron Pierce's work will enjoy this book.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars High Brow Bizarro with an Erotic Twist November 29, 2010

By Kirk Jones

Format:Paperback

Felix and the Sacred Thor

A pervert of the purest heart, ravaged by his superiors at the local equivalent of Wal-Mart during his day job, and sexually stimulating stallions to the rock ballads of angels when time or opportunity permits. A living "marital aid" (thanks Nicole for the appropriate phrase) that levels up with each onslaught waged on its behalf. A horde of maniacal radioactive toasters bent on destroying the human race.

That about sums the exposition up.

After the introduction we get a series of slice of bizarro dystopia vignettes, all connected by Felix, his sacred Thor, and the fact that each of the new characters relate in some way or another to the impending toaster apocalypse. But each of the short incidents aren't just connected by a common subject. They're woven from the fabric of a common theme as well: a critique of contemporary consumer culture, and the eradication of value placed on education. Steele paints a portrait of a world where qualified people have become a commodity, one so readily available that their value has diminished to virtual nothingness . . . a world not far from our own.

And there are some interesting concepts and ideas worthy of novella-length manuscripts contained within many of these short passages, which suggests to me that Steele's wealth of insight into bizarro writing will lead him to a promising career down the road.

What I have mentioned above is one of the elements of some bizarro writing that I have come to love: bizarro elements existing in a world not quite alien, serving as metaphor for very real phenomenon in our dreary, not-so-bizarro every day existence. After all, isn't it true that we all carry within us a ticking time bomb, about to detonate with the proper amount of rejection? At the other end of the spectrum, we have the Felixes, egomaniacs who pride themselves on pre-emptive attacks against the all-too-oppressive society surrounding them, and on the very few, yet menial things that make them unique.

The only thing that inhibited the flow of the plot was the short passages that, while interesting, seemed a little out of place, or didn't necessarily contribute to the plot line. While they enhance the social critique offered by Steele, chapters like "iTha" and "Why All Great Employees Drive a Minihearse" didn't move the plot forward. I like to think of them as tactful intermissions, but I could see why some might disagree.

I felt quite at home reading this text, primarily because the social commentary featured therein reflected the social commentary contained in my book. This is modern allegory guised as bizarro. Suspend your disbelief, scrutinize the strange for meaning, and you will not be disappointed. There is depth between these pages, and I'm not just referring to a two foot long marital aid rendered to resemble a horse member.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Stupid fun and smart fun December 7, 2010

By Eric M. Hendrixson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Felix and the Sacred Thor is a stupid story about a guy who breaks toasters with a rubber horse phallus. It's also a clever social satire about education, economics, and the nature of the heroic quest. This puts me in a difficult position. While one part of me wants to giggle stupidly at the superhero antics of Felix, whose hero ethos seems at times to be derived more from video games and cartoons than from, say, Joseph Campbell--even his supernatural guide refers to acquiring skills as leveling up, especially when he chastises Felix for his lack of quotability--another part of me wants to chuckle knowingly.

In the world of this book, the vast majority of the population is college-educated. Unfortunately, they are all educated to do essentially the same thing, and is not a terribly useful thing--to manually stimulate animals. This creates massive unemployment. Opportunities to gratify animals are actually pretty rare, and most positions are unpaid. In addition to the unemployed liberal arts--sorry--pervert graduates, there are the ludicrously plugged-in and corporate zombies.

I'm in the same spot I was when I was watching the movie Idiocracy or reading Candide or The Sotweed Factor. The satire is funny enough, but when the antics of the characters being satirized are this ludicrous and the characters are just likable enough, I kind of want to laugh with them and come to actually like them. Felix really is a pervert of the purest heart, and you want to cheer for him, though his quest is stupid and misguided, maybe even more so because his quest is stupid and he follows through with complete sincerity.