Customer Reviews

Feminine Appeal (New Expanded Edition with Questions)

5 star:		(43)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I do not always choose the books I review. Sometimes I am able to request specific titles from publishers but other times titles arrive unannounced. This provides me with the opportunity to review books that I would not, under most other circumstances, read. Such is the case with Feminine Appeal, written by Carolyn Mahaney. I left the book in my shelf for several weeks before I dared to open it up. I was gratified to see that it was endorsed by many men far more godly (and masculine) than myself, so if someone is going to laugh at me for reading it, they will also have to mock John Piper, Josh Harris, Mark Dever, Wayne Grudem, Dennis Rainey and Randy Alcorn. I feel that I am in good company, and so much so that I can even admit that I found the book tremendously enjoyable.

Feminine Appeal is, of course, written primarily for women. Having prepared several audio tapes which examined Titus 2, Mahaney was challenged (apparently by Mark Dever) to publish these presentations in book format. Nancy Leigh DeMoss says that as she listened to these tapes "my heart rejoiced at her evident love for the truth and her clear, compelling presentation of this passage that outlines the " curriculum" that should be at the heart of all ministry by and to women. I was delighted when Carolyn agreed to put that teaching in book form."

Mahaney extracts seven feminine virtues from verses 3 to 5 of Titus 2. The verses read as follows:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

The seven virtues are:

* The delight of loving my husband
* The blessings of loving my children
* The safety of self-control
* The pleasure of purity
* The honor of working at home
* The rewards of kindness
* The beauty of submission

Each of these topics receives a single chapter in the book which concludes with a reflection on Mahaney's own mother, Margaret, who evidenced so many of these graces. Appended to the book is a study guide prepared by Nicole Mahaney Whitacre, daughter of C.J. and Carolyn.

There were at least two aspects of this book that stood out to me. First, in a book of this type it is always easy for an author to present herself as the example of all that is good and worthy. It is easy for an author to show how she has overcome the difficulties of life and now exemplifies the virtues of godliness. This is particularly prevalent in certain areas of the Christian world where Christian writers, speakers and singers feel they need to display the evidences of a type of anointing that transcends what the rest of us experience. I was glad to see that Mahaney is honest and humble. She humbly admits her own faults and her own shortcomings. She does not hold herself as the example of all that is good. At the same time she does not heap scorn upon herself. She is honest with those areas in which she has, by the power of the Holy Spirit, grown and developed. Yet she is also more than willing to admit where she still struggles and where her sinfulness has affected herself and her family.

The second aspect of this book that stood out to me was how closely Carolyn's life and ministry parallels that of her husband. The final words of the book could just as easily have been drawn from C.J.'s later book, Humility. Carolyn writes of her mother, "Although it's true, by worldly standards, that Margaret never accomplished anything great, in God's eyes she has achieved true greatness. Her life can be summed up by the words of our Lord: 'Whoever would be great among you must be your servant...even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many' (Matt. 20:26,28)." This tells me that Carolyn and C.J. are not merely building a facade - a fictitious persona which they present to the public while in private they are far different. It is clear that they truly do walk together and minister to each other. It is clear that they first apply what they learn to their own lives before sharing with others.

Not too long ago I expressed my belief that men do not mentor one another in the way the Bible encourages us to. I am sure that the same is true of women. A book like this can allow a woman to receive some encouraging, biblical mentorship. As John and Noel Piper express in their endorsement, "Feminine Appeal may be an excellent stand-in for the mentor they lack right now. For others, it will wonderfully complement the relationship they have with an older friend of the Titus 2 sort."

This book was a valuable read, even to one who has no feminine appeal! As I read I was challenged in the ways I understand my wife and was provided with much wisdom which I can share with her and even apply to my own life. I was given a greater appreciation for the precious gift God has given me in my wife. I give this book my unreserved recommendation for men or women.

This is one of the best books I have ever read in the realm of being a Godly wife and mother. It is like having a godly mother who has raised children from infanthood to adulthood and had a happy marriage sit down and share what are the most important ways you can be a blessing to your family and husband. It really emphasizes the importance of family relations over worldly success and materialism. I would highly recommend it to anyone struggling in these roles or a new wife and mother.

I was saddened as I read the earlier review from "Stafford, Va" and heard the bitterness expressed. She has missed out on something so precious and beautiful.

This book is the most biblical, clear, concise and FREEING presentation on the topic of womanhood that I have ever read!!! Not only was Carolyn honest and forthright, but her words were filled with hope and truth. It takes courage to write about this truth in the day and age that we live in. I respect Carolyn for the stand that she has taken and I look forward to the day when my daughters will be able to read this book and learn as I have.

Feminine Appeal is a very Biblically sound book with good advice for Christian women seeking to become more Godly in their roles as mothers and wives. It is encouraging and inspiring.

Mahaney categorizes seven important virtues that are important to us as wives and mothers if we are to fulfill our roles as God intends us to: loving our husbands, loving our children, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness and submission. She devotes a chapter to each of these virtues. She also includes are remarkably inspiring picture of a woman at the end of the book who excelled at these virtues, and the impact her life made on all those who encountered her. She shares in true Titus 2 style: an experienced mother and wife counseling younger women based on her own experience and dedication to God.

I really believe this book will be best appreciated by married women with children. Yes, for any Christian woman who forsees these roles in her life at sometime in the future this type of advice is also helpful, but I would be hesistant to recommend Feminine Appeal to anyone not already in both roles.

There are study questions at the end of the book for group discussions, which was a draw for me when selecting this book as a study for my book club. Please don't select the book because of those questions. Most truly don't lend to very good group discussion. Many of them are tasks for the reader to complete on their own to help apply each chapter, with not so many questions targeted for chapter discussion with others.

All the above said, I felt this book was only OK. It just didn't stand out to me amongst all the other books on the market on how to mature in your role as wife and mother. Most of the book was a compilation of other works and others' ideas. The quotes and resources sited are appropriate and insightful to be sure. There just wasn't much original information from the author, in my opinion. Most of the talk in between the quotes from others' works seemed to be just discussion about the others' ideas. Also, none of the discussions were very in depth, but kept mostly on the surface. Examples and stories were given for each virtue, but mostly they were shared as "what not to do." I felt that if the author would have given some appropriate solutions to the examples they would have been more helpful.

In a nutshell, I won't recommend this book as a "must read" to any of my friends. However, it is certainly Biblically sound. It is not at all misleading from God's truth, and it is encouraging. It just didn't stand out to me as different than other books that someone can pick up off the shelf, and didn't offer any insight that one can't get from multiple other resources.

Feminine Appeal is one of the best books I've read. I read it for the first time right after I got married and was completely encouraged. I made a habit of re-reading this book every 6-12 months. There is valuable, timeless words offered by Carolyn Mahaney. Mostly importantly, it is God centered and very biblical.

This book is amazing! When I first started to read the book I thought that maybe the book was more geared towards the Christian woman who is a wife or mother rather than to a single like myself. Although Mahaney does talk directly to the "wife" and "mother" the insights of how to live godly are invaluable for every woman longing to live in a Christ-like way.

I will also go as far as to say that this book changed my life. The book opens up scripture and reveals the truth of godly living as what it is meant to be lived.

This book should be in every church library and on every woman's bedside table! An excellent read and a heart revealing message needed for every woman whose first love is Christ.

Feminine Appeal is based around what Carolyn Mahaney calls the seven feminine virtues listed for us in Titus 2:3-5:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Each of the positive characteristics listed in these verses--loving one's husband, loving one's children, being self-controlled, being pure, working at home, being kind, and being submissive to one's husband--is given a chapter of it's own to discuss ways to cultivate that characteristic. I'd say that this little book is one of the ways Carolyn Mahaney carries out the command in the first part of the quoted passage: that older women teach younger women how to behave in a way that promotes the gospel by showing how it transforms lives.

I always come to this sort of book with a bit of apprehenshion, because there are a couple of concerns I have about "how to live" books in general. I'm happy to be able to say that Carolyn Mahaney's managed to walk the tight-rope and avoid these possible weaknesses for the most part.

One concern I have is that the real life examples given in a book of this kind will set such high standards that they will be discouraging rather than encouraging to women who are young and inexperienced. I've always had a bit of a compulsive streak, and I read some books when I was younger that ended up being more of a hindrance than a help because deep down, I felt like I ought to be copying perfectly every example in the book, so I was not satisfied with what was good enough or with what worked best in my situation. That's the reason I'm glad I had at least a couple of real-life mentors, in addition to the books I read, because real-life mentors sometimes have dust bunnies under the kitchen table and children who misbehave, and seeing that helps the perfectionist sort--like me--avoid unrealistic expectations. While Carolyn Mahaney uses herself and her own life as examples throughout the book, she wisely lets us see some of her dust bunnies, reminding us through her choice of examples that these are characteristics that we will spend a lifetime developing, and that none of us shows these characteristics perfectly all the time.

The other fear I have with books like this is that we'll be given firm rules where scripture gives us only general principles. All women are different, with different talents, interests, and circumstances; and the virtues given us in Titus 2 can be lived out in many different ways that take into consideration our particular talents, interests, and circumstances. That's why I like that Carolyn Mahaney used example from various women in various circumstances throughout this book so that the reader can see different ways the principles can be carried out in individual women's lives.

Feminine Appeal gets my recommendation as a book that will be helpful for both young women looking to live out their faith in their lives, and for older women who want to take up the challenge to provide both good teaching and good example to younger women.

This book is a must read for any woman (single or married), who is serious about living a life glorifying to God! Carolyn is very down to earth and refreshing. She is very honest about her life and the way a Christian woman should live. It should be on your bookshelf! You will benefit greatly from this refreshing and honest look at Titus 2.

I am a new wife and mother looking to fulfill my purpose according to God's commandments. This book outlined exactly what I was looking for. It is quick to read and very straight to the point. I would love to do a Bible study on this book! I recommend it to any woman who wants to find their place as a woman of God.

I strongly recommend this book as a guide for women seeking to honor God. Based upon the principles of Titus 2 it is a down to earth, honest approach to life for single or married women.

I often give this as a gift at bridal showers.

I don't think you will be disappointed should you decide to order this book.

Bonnie Tigner