Customer Reviews

Field Notes on the Compassionate Life: A Search for the Soul of Kindness

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I will admit at the outset that this is not the sort of book I would normally be attracted to as I roamed the shelves of books at a bookstore. It would probably be shelved in the "self-help" section and I don't usually spend any time there. Categorizing Barasch's work as a self-help book, which some reviewers and bookstores have apparently done, is, I think, a mistake, and may result in some potential readers from being exposed to it. Like me, for instance. I probably wouldn't have become aware of "Field Notes on the Compassionate Life" had a publishers' representative not sent it to me for reading and review. I'm glad he did. It is an interesting work and especially well-written; the author has a literary style reminiscent of Henry David Thoreau and Joseph Wood Krutch.

Rather than place the "self-help" label on Barasch's book, I would consider the work a "personal journey" into the meaning and practice of "compassion," that somewhat elusive concept which so often befuddles us and is so often ignored because it smacks of "do-goodism" and "touchy-feely" pop-psychology. Fortunately, Barasch doesn't descend into that muddy swamp; instead, he conducts his search for the "soul of kindness" in a most empirical way by actually doing some field work on the subject (hence, the "Field Notes" in the title), somewhat like a cultural anthropologist going about trying to find out how some specific characteristic of a tribe functions and what its "meaning" is to the members of the group.

If there is anything the world needs (and has always needed, for that matter) it is love, empathy, compassion, and kindliness. Or, maybe, we can sum all of those characteristics up in that good old word "charity" in its full and traditional meaning. Whatever the case, Barasch proceeds to investigate the subject, drawing not only on the experience of his personal encounters with actual human beings, but integrating that experience with data from neuropsychology, biology, quantum physics, history, and the social sciences, with help from theological and philosophical traditions, and even the results from some current research in the field of medical science. Some commonly accepted "truths" are challenged by Barasch. For instance, Barasch finds among bonobo chimpanzees a model for caring group behavior that he believes undermines Darwin's evolutionary idea of the survival of the fittest. Could it be that the great driving force of our evolution was really "survival of the kindest"? And what does this mean about us today and what could this mean about our future?

Regarding what I have just said in the above paragraph, does the word "comprehensive" come to mind? It should, because this is indeed a comprehensive journey into the theory and practice of human benevolence. Barasch is conducting a search into the heart of the meaning of "compassion," using resources from virtually every area of the human experience. What can we learn from people who are exceptionally empathetic in their relation to others? Is there a way to help people become kinder toward other people? How do we and should we treat people who have done us harm? Can we actually transform ourselves and our society in general so that incidents of compassionate and benevolent behavior are increased? How can this be done?

You'll meet many interesting people along this journey the author writes about, including the homeless, the disadvantaged, and the dispossessed. (Barasch actually becomes one of the "homeless" for a period of time, in order to experience the condition.) But you'll also meet people such as an "altruistic" kidney donor, a circumstance which raises a question about far compassionate outreach should be extended. And you'll meet a father who has an extraordinary relationship with the killer of his daughter, and who has forgiven him for the deed. There is a particularly telling chapter which examines the current Middle Eastern crisis and an educational program which is devoted to resolving the differences -- with understanding and compassion -- between the Palestinian and Israeli children who are the major victims in that horrendous conflict.

Now, I know that some readers (particularly those who are aficionados of Ayn Rand's "virtue of selfishness") may be disturbed by Barasch's use of certain terms such as "altruism" and "sacrifice." I want to make them aware they should be careful before pouncing on Barasch's use of those terms and simply dismissing the author as another "irrational and immoral" promulgator of "self-sacrifice." He is not. Read the book carefully and you'll see how he himself wrestles with the issues of altruism and sacrifice. There are extremists on both sides of this question. There are those who are so self-absorbed (genuinely "selfish" in the traditional sense) that everyone wants to avoid them and it is a wonder they can live in normal human society at all. Then there are those who are so "other-absorbed" (genuinely "altruistic" in the Randian sense) that a normal human being would want to avoid them altogether because their "self-obsession" for "others" is so bothersome and so often "suspect." There is a middle (read "moderate") road here which Barasch walks during his journey, avoiding either extreme.

In conclusion, I think "Field Notes on the Compassionate Life" is worth a read by anyone who is interested in human nature, benevolence, compassion, personal happiness, and the future of humanity. The world is in a sad state of affairs. We have tried hate, war, discrimination, capital punishment, and all sorts of other antihuman policies to make what we thought would be a better world. These have failed. For how many centuries does humankind have to knock its head against the same wall of malice toward others until it comes to its senses? Maybe we ought to try a little compassion, a little kindliness, a little benevolence toward our fellow human beings and see if that works. It would certainly be easier on the head, not to mention on the wall.

This book is a "must read." On the downside, the author is a bit wordy at times. But at other times, his writing simply sparkles. This book provides useful information, compelling case histories, and thought-inspiring statements.

What's most valuable about this book is its message. Just prior to writing this review, I exchanged e-mails with a business-person who provided several accounts of customers and suppliers who are petty, rude, and selfish. Such behavior seems to be "normal," these days. We need look only to accounts of road rage and powerful government bureaucrats to support the contention that people are, well, contentious.

But, is this the way humans are headed? Or is there something else developing for us? And what about you, personally? How can you create greater levels of kindness in the world around you? Barasch provides solid insights into this, backed by extensive information that includes clinical research.

This isn't another of those "follow this simple formula" books written just to provide additional income for a motivational speaker. Far from it (Barasch isn't a motivational speaker, for one thing). Though highly credentialed to write a book that leads you to contemplate your world view, Barasch doesn't claim to have the magic answers. Instead, he takes various aspects of compassion (devoting a chapter to each) and supplies some amazing case histories that provide lessons for all of us.

A particularly moving case history involves the father of a murdered 43-year old woman--and her killer. You might expect a parent to completely hate the murderer of his child. And, that was this father's first reaction. But hatred is a hot coal that burns those who hold it. This father, instead, extended love to the murderer. The results of that serve as a living legacy to the murdered daughter. She had devoted her life to helping others, and now--through the man who murdered her--this woman's father is working minor miracles in the lives of many prisoners.

Another example is a camp for teenagers. But, not just any teenagers--this is a camp that brings Israeli and Palestinian teens together. You can imagine the difficulties there--kids from two cultures that each demonize and hate the other to the point where people strap bombs on their bodies to blow up "the enemy." Yet, the people who run the camp program were able to make some surprising breakthroughs. This story alone justifies the book, but there's more.

A constant theme throughout the book is we have the power to choose to love--or to hate. We aren't trapped into one or the other, unless we let ourselves be trapped. But many of us are trapped, and we're trapped in a room constructed of something negative, such as pettiness or hatred. We're trapped because we simply cannot find the door. Fortunately, Barasch has some great ideas to help us not only see that door, but to throw it wide open.

Barasch's style is casual and yet compelling, drawing the reader into his quest to understand and practice compassion. I find it altogether easy to relate to his questions, his search, and his desire to live compassionately. He is not a guru sharing rarified wisdom, but a fellow traveler whose experiences, obstacles, questions, and frustrations mirror my own. At the same time, he clearly asserts that compassionate living is attainable not only for the mystic few but for any willing to pursue it with an open heart. Hence the book is empowering, encouraging, exciting, and illuminating. I can't recommend it highly enough.

It is not a book I would usually buy and the Author would probably have world views much different than my own but I have to say I was intrigued and impressed by the early chapters. It is a great look at how we distort our own views and see the same situation so very differently. The part on the young women brought together from Palestine, Israel and Bosnia was really eye opening. It moved my needle. As a former Marine Sniper a product of the Sixties with two tours in Vietnam I have to say this was well worth the read. I was surprised at the content and his views make you really think about how you feel about the world and what is happening today and why we can send a man to the moon and we cant find a way to have peace. Difficult at times but again, well worth the read.

Having read many reviews but never written one, I recommend this book to anyone interested in further developing one's character. Barasch writes of a universal truth filled with insights on human behavior and also of the challenges humanity faces as a whole. His casual writing and everyday language makes it a joy to read and neither intimidates nor evangelizes. Using scientific research, spiritual passages and personal experience, he has caused me to relfect, reasses and redefine what I consider as compassion.

I savored this book word for word because it gave me such hope for the future of our species and planet. Field Notes on the Compassionate Life is a heart-opening look at empathy, compassion, forgiveness, and altruism from evolutionary and contemporary perspectives. Barasch is a wonderful writer, with just the right balance of insight and wit (I got a kick out of his fresh metaphors). I especially appreciated his personal accounts of his own struggles with forgiveness and compassion.

(Nonfiction) Barasch examines the subject of compassion from every possible angle in this wonderful exploration. Barasch's greatest strength is that he succeeds in making you think hard about compassion. As I read the book, I felt more inclined to give, to smile, to be kind. He inspired me to look up Soren Kierkegaard's Works of Love, which demands compassion, and the words of a certain Colombian priest, who seeks reconciliation. He provides a hundred different aphorisms on compassion, and sometimes an aphorism is all you need to remember to be kind: Philo of Alexandria said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle"; William Blake wrote, "He who would do Good for another must do it in Minute Particulars." He provides examples from so many religious traditions and walks of life that it's hard to exclude yourself.

The only drawbacks of the book are, perhaps, strengths that are drawn out too long. He fills the prose with references to pop culture (Teletubbies and the tv program ER, for example) and lots of little jokes. Sometimes these feel a bit much, but it's not much of a flaw.

The book is strongest when Barasch describes his own experiences. He spends ten days on a homeless retreat, living on the streets of Denver. He experiments with tonglen meditation, in which you breathe in the suffering in the world and breathe out peace. He seeks to reconcile with a friend who brought him financial ruin. He observes a camp that brings together Israeli and Palestinian young women.

The first science chapter was less compelling (chapter 2), in which he provides evidence that compassion is a part of our evolutionary heritage (drawing on a host of primate behaviors). The other science coverage is intriguing, though. For example, he elucidates certain experiments that show cosmic connections between two human hearts focused on each other and (this is the best experiment in the whole book, chapter 13) that even a bowl of yogurt can feel your pain. (Not a joke.)

Barasch clearly loves language: he kept me running for the dictionary throughout (what's a dudgeon? a homunculus?). But ultimately, this book succeeds because it reminds you of a hundred ways in which you might be compassionate yourself.

Barasch's writing style is crisp, quirky, illuminating, and funny. His exploration into the compassionate life is both personal and well-researched. While not a how-to book, it's a great how-come book--as in how come we think, act, and feel the way we do when it comes to compassion. Others have already covered some of the book's specifics, so I won't take time to rehash those points. All in all, I found this to be an immensely enjoyable and worthwhile read.

Barasch's book "Field Notes on the Compassionate Life" is an essential discourse for anyone wishing to better understand the importance of compassion and kindness. It is an intelligent, wise, very thoughtful and insightful read and one that provides truly optimal nourishment for the heart, mind and soul. It is a guide which gracefully directs one's thinking about what matters most in a hurting, often cold and heartless world; that is kindness, altruism, empathy and compassion. For anyone who may need a refresher course on the crucial components of empathy and compassion and a reminder of why it is important to exercise and implement such components, this IS the book to read!

I thoroughly enjoyed and savored this considerate, thoughtful book. Barasch raises such important issues that all people should be mindful of and embrace. As we are all too often bombarded by disturbing news of terrorism, violence, war and tragedies from around the globe, this book reminds us of what makes human beings worthy and inherently good. It reminds us of how capable we ALL are of promoting kindness and caring for one another with utmost grace and dignity.

For anyone seeking guidance and a more profound understanding of empathy, Barasch's treatise on kindness and compassion is articulate, thoughtful, thought-provoking and very well-written. I can't recommend this important, vitally nourishing book enough!

In my review of "The Compassionate Life" I complained that it and "Field Notes..." were too similar. Since then I have been in touch with the author. Marc explained that "The Compassionate Life" is a paperback update of "Field Notes...", not a separate book. (See my review of "Compassionate Life" to read Marc Barasch's comment.) Amazon won't let a reviewer go back and write a correction, so I am doing it here, hoping that readers will have examined both books. I love them both, keeping one at work and the other on my night stand. The books are teaching tools for my college classes in communication.

My angst comes from Amazon encouraging us to purchase both books without advising us that "Compassion Life" is a revision of "Field Notes..." I always look forward to another book from this author. Six stars, if they would let me!!!