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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful
on September 12, 2012
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Reading Fierce Women twice in the span of two weeks has got to be a first. I felt like the author was sitting on my deck, coffee cup in hand encouraging me to be a soft warrior and not an aggressive fierce woman. As the author says "Fierceness can become an asset or a detriment in marriage. She admits fierceness became a source of conflict in her marriage."
As I began reading, not able to put the book down I realized I had been not been the soft warrior addressed so well in this book. Kimberly weaves her own story through the pages with transparency and authenticity writing it because of the destruction taking place in her own marriage. "Lord, change him," was her prayer. She didn't realize that ingratitude, pride and fear were leading her down a "lonely, cruel path."

Fierceness is "grabbing onto the hem of God's will, not letting go; not ugly, raw aggression." God's glory is the purpose of marriage and Kimberly has given women a tool to pursue that purpose. With honesty and humility her story is told as God brings her to her knees in a cabin in the woods.
I appreciated her chapter on There's No One Else Like My Man! Stating emphatically that men and women are different, which is a good thing. The line has been blurred in our culture today and she explains well how that came to be and how we as women of God can encourage our men to be MEN. I also enjoyed the chapter What's The Big Deal About Marriage Anyway? Explaining God's intention for marriage.
Kimberly does comment several times in the book that bad marriages don't just happen, nor are they the fault of just the wife. This book written to women is Christ-centered and full of the Word of God, the only place where answers to all of life can be found. Honesty and humility are the foundation of getting back onto the path of glorifying God in your marriage along with the Word of God lighting our path.
I wish I could buy a copy for every woman I know because this book is not just another book on marriage.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on October 3, 2012
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. While on another website, I saw an advertisement for this book and the title pulled me right in: Fierce Women, The Power of a Soft Warrior. What's that all about? So I clicked the Amazon link to find out. I still wasn't really sure if this was a book I would like or not, so I went ahead and ordered it to find out.

Mostly, it's a book to help married women better fulfill their role as a wife. Kimberly Wagner always admired "fierce" women. The problem is that she had the wrong idea about strength. It almost ruined her marriage to a wonderful man (and pastor).

While I was reading Wagner describe her fierce personality, at first I was thinking, "Oh yeah, I've come across some women like this." But as I read further, I saw some glimpses of my own destructive fierceness in her depiction. For example, in one of the many examples of other relationships that she gives, she shared a conversation with a couple about the power the wife really has over her husband:

"Oh, she only has to give me a certain look and she can bring me to my knees!" I watched her give him a bewildered look and ask in shock "I can?" He was a successful, seemingly confident man, but he readily admitted how his wife's disapproval could strongly derail him (41).

My husband has told me something like this before and I could never understand what the big deal was. After reading this book, I have become more sensitive to the design of my own fierce strengths, and how God would have me use them to better encourage him.

When a woman is destructively fierce, Wagner explains how that can affect her husband in two different ways. A normally confident man can become very intimidated by his wife, and cower in passivity. This scenario is more common in the church than we would probably like to admit. He could also become overly indulgent to his wife, in the desire to give her what she wants. Again, this abdicates good judgment in leadership. Many husbands drown out the pressures their wife piles on them by mind-numbing activities that usually involve a couch and a remote. Or, a husband can react on the other end of the spectrum and become overly aggressive with their wives, trying to claim their authority. It's so easy to focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, but Wagner puts the microscope on her audience of women. Sometimes, under the guise of "helping," we are really on a ruthless husband-improvement mission.

The personal testimony that Wagner shares in this book is very powerful. Her marriage was in trouble for over ten years. I won't reveal the details so that the reader can experience the journey through the book, coupled alongside her biblical teaching on how the wife represents Christ's church. This is an illustration very dear to my heart. God has given us an intimate picture of the gospel in the marriage relationship. It is by far the best way to encourage, teach, and counsel married couples. Using this teaching of Christ the Bridegroom and his powerful love for his bride, the church, Wagner gives very practical implications of how we can better express these truths in our marriage relationship.

I encourage this book for women who are already fierce, to better hone your strength in your marriage, as well as for women who need to be encouraged to use the spiritual muscle with which God has certainly equipped you.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on September 17, 2012
Format: Paperback
Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior is a call to all women. While the book focuses on the power of a soft warrior in marriage, there is Truth for every woman in every season and walk of life. Kimberly Wagner is transparent and honest about her own struggles in her marriage. I so appreciate an author that humbles herself, despite the shame or embarrassment, to get her message across. She shows that no one is immune to ungodly and sinful thoughts and action, but also that no one is too far from the grace of God to bring reconciliation to those who have been wronged and to Himself! This isn't just "some book" on marriage or a self-help book to "fix" yourself. No, this is a book about the restoration that comes from Christ alone when we allow Him to do a work in us. Being a fierce woman doesn't mean that we are harsh and rude, it means being filled with His spirit and emanating His light. I will definitely be getting copies of this book for the women closest to me. I believe it is something that definitely needs to be read!
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38 of 49 people found the following review helpful
on December 10, 2012
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This book is biblically sound in the use of verses and the author makes many good points. However, she puts most of the responsibility for a man's fearfullness and lack of leadership in the home on the wife. She points out that a woman should get all her fulfillment from Christ (which is true) and not pressure her husband so much to fulfill her needs (also true). However, shouldn't a man get all his validation and acceptance from Christ and not look to his wife for these things?

This book pretty much states that if women would just change the way they relate to their husbands, the men would be less fearful and rise up to be leaders, confident, and protective. A Christian man should step into the leadership role no matter how his wife acts towards him. It's called leadership and is a command from God's Word.

This book calls women to talk and act nicer to their men and then somehow their fearful, effeminant, wimpy men will morph into confident, protective Christian leaders. I say to the men, "Look to Christ, he is the standard. He is the example. If you are not leading in your home then you are not following Christ or his Word. You will be held accountable by God and you will continue to have strife in your home!"
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format: Paperback
Wagner approaches womanhood from the standpoint that women are strong; they were created by God to have a fierceness. After the curse, women are prone to exhibiting this fierceness in ways that are sinful. The entire premise of the book is to talk about how to harness this fierceness in a way that will honor God and support our husbands.

Whether or not you realize it, you are in a battle, and God has placed strengths within you to be used in powerful ways. When you enter the marriage relationship, you are entering the sacred metaphor God designed to explain Himself to a watching world. Marriage is the great mystery, the glorious platform God created to display His love relationship with His bride. This is why marriage is a flashpoint for Satan's attacks; he sees to destroy the beauty and effectiveness of God's model. - pp. 10-11

When we first saw the title of this book, we weren't quite sure what to expect. The images that come to mind with the word "fierce" are not too pretty. As I read through Fierce Women, I realized that "fierce" has many facets. A godly woman should fiercely (or determinedly) embrace God's will for her life. She should follow His plans and desires passionately. She should fight to resist the distractions of life and fight to keep her marriage the #1 human relationship in her life.

In this book, Wagner describes the dangers of a fierce woman who seeks to dominate her husband. She talks about the signs of a dominating, fierce woman; too often women can dominate fiercely without realizing it. (Remember the curse after Eve ate the forbidden fruit?)

After describing the characteristics of a sinfully, fierce woman, Wagner talks about how to harness the power, strength, and fierceness of womanhood to glorify God in marriage.

Perhaps you are thinking that this book isn't for you; that you aren't a fierce woman. You don't have a tendency to dominate or belittle your husband. That is precisely what I thought when I picked up this book! But as I read Kimberly's testimony and words of wisdom, God showed me some "little" ways I tend to be a destructive, fierce woman. And it renewed my desire to pursue God's best for my marriage passionately.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on December 28, 2012
Format: Paperback
What I Loved

I'm single and I enjoyed this book, so don't let that scare you away. =)

Even though I approached it with the idea of reading it as a man/woman relationship book instead of strictly a marriage book and found, lo and behold, it is pretty plainly a marriage book, I learned from it.

I don't consider myself a very fierce woman (even though my favorite word has some striking similarities definition-wise with fierce), but as a girl who is still very much growing up, I appreciated this book's being centered around the "power of a soft warrior."

I thought the author's emphasis on Scripture and openness was refreshing. That's the thing I always love most while reading inspirational non-fiction books -- lots and lots of Scripture and personal stories! Kimberly Wagner did a great job of providing those.

She also did a great job of not sounding preachy. She was honest and vulnerable and sweetly remarked at times that she cringed at sharing how she treated her husband badly in the past. That endeared me to her. I liked reading her story and collecting tips on how {not} to be a wife for Someday as well as taking note of how I can better interact with the men in my life (such as, oh, I don't know, my father and brothers)!

There are also plenty of resources provided in the book that were interesting to flip through. The parallel presented between Characteristics of a Beautifully Fierce Woman
and Characteristics of a Destructive Fierce Woman were great,
as was the Word to the Fierce Woman Who Is Single.

Why I Recommend This Book

Practical tips. Personal story. Powerful Scripture. Mix it all together and you have a compelling combination in Fierce Women. For the already-marrieds and the singles like me, this book is a charge and a challenge to be the soft warrior who glorifies God.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on October 5, 2012
Format: Paperback
A couple weeks ago I was asked to read and review the book Fierce Women. Admittedly, I had no idea how much I needed to read this, and how much it would speak to my heart.

The book is written by Kimberly Wagner, who uses her own life experiences as a pastor's wife and all-around intimidating church lady (as well as the captivating stories of other women) to share her thoughts on what it means to be a godly fierce woman, and how often we of strong personalities misuse our fierceness to walk all over the people in our lives. Especially our husbands. Wagner addresses the heart issues that can drive women to offend and alienate the people around them, and urges readers to instead use that very fierceness to cultivate a passion for the Lord and for others. But don't think these chapters condemn all the qualities of a fierce woman in the hopes of making us all mousy doormats. Uh uh. Wagner reveals how we can cultivate healthy attributes like faithfulness, determination, passion, courage, devotion, and perseverance, whilst putting a hard stop to the sinful side of fierceness like manipulation, aggression, anger, pride, and intimidation.

Wagner shares much of her own marital struggles in which she spent years alienating her husband because of her own destructive fierceness. She writes,
'I don't think most of us realize how much we affect our husbands, and I think we're often unaware of when our God-given strengths transform into this destructive fierceness. I know I was. I really thought my husband was the problem in our relationship.'

The author also takes time to address cultural influences on women and how that influence has often assigned opposite roles to men and women and drastically damaged marriage in the process.

Fierce Women is ultimately a story of redemption. How, when we submit ourselves to the Lord, He delights in redeeming our fierceness for His glory and purpose. In it we gain insight on how those of us with strong personalities and intense passions can cultivate Christ-like attitudes that are determined rather than destructive. I highly recommend that every woman reads Fierce Women.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on June 7, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
When I was in college, I received a copy of a a page out of a high school home ec book which told the reader that a wife is basically a slave to her husband. This fifties interpretation of marriage left an impression on my mind which grew up watching Buffy Summers battle demons and monsters every week.
So when I saw the title of the book "Fierce Women" I knew I had to read it. I am a feminist and I love anything about a woman who is strong, whether that be a quiet woman who stands by her family in a time of need, or a woman in a soldier's uniform. Doesn't matter, strong women are AWESOME.
While I am a feminist, I think women who don't consider themselves feminist can get something out of this. I would be interested in finding out what a person who didn't consider themselves Christian would think of this book.
I went to a catholic college and I think this would be a fabulous book to be used as a text in a women's study class; perhaps a women and religion class.
I thought that Author Kimberly Wagner was very bold an brave to be open about how sometimes her fierceness has sometimes had a negative influence on her marriage ;as well as other anecdotes of her journey into fiercedom.
There are a lot of snippets I found helpful throughout the text, "marriage is much bigger than the two people in a particular marriage, her definitions of fear as False Evidence Appearing Real, Patterns of pride etc.
I would definitely recommend this book to women, as well as to couples as a way of opening communication.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on February 10, 2013
Format: Paperback
Fierce Woman is not unlike a couple books you've read before. But then, most lessons aren't only learned once. What sets Kimberly Wagner's book apart is that she isn't preaching from the sidelines. Wagner's marriage slogged through the valley of the shadow of death. The scenery's beauty of the other side of the darkness is what inspires her story.

The first few chapters of the book explain what a fierce woman is. She is determined, faithful, disciplined, courageous and devoted. However, it is said that our greatest strengths can also be our biggest weaknesses. It is so with ferocity. An untamed, fierce woman will become proud, demanding, cold, bossy and controlling.

Men respond to an untamed fierce woman in one of three ways. They numb out with the nearest brainless object like video games, a computer or television. Or, they may be fearful of disappointing their demanding wife and go any length to keep her happy. Finally, an intimidated man may lash back in anger and frustration. The resulting dynamic is never positive. Eventually a marriage in this state will dissolve. Even if the couple remains legally married, they will co-exist as miserable roommates. This is no more pleasing to the God who desires that they represent the unity of Christ and His church.

Within the first two years of her marriage, Wagner found herself miserable and lonely. Under the gentle influence of the Holy Spirit and some not-so-gentle circumstances, she was humbled to learn that she, a fierce woman, was much to blame. That's where Wagner's story pivots and begins to lead the reader on a quest to surrender their strength to God for His glory and the good of her marriage.

For me, the most poignant lesson in Wagner's book is her acronym for the word, APPRECIATION. It reminds me of Dr. Gary Chapman's recent book The Five Languages of Appreciation, which he admits are the same five languages that love speaks. Within this acronym, the first I stands for "invest".

"I've [also] learned that investing in my husband brings the rich reward of intimately knowing, enjoying, and valuing him. By investing, I mean putting time and effort into getting into his heart and mind."

I too have learned this lesson with a bit of sweat and tears. However, it is exciting to see my budding knowledge affirmed by a wise, Christian woman.

Wagner's book is a must read for any woman frustrated by her husband's emotional distance. She turns the light of God's word on a woman's heart and enables her to see her own contribution to a marriage's troubles. Then, by changing the only thing she truly can, herself, a woman will find hope for her marriage.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on October 24, 2012
Format: Paperback
I've just finished reading Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior by Kimberly Wagner. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the title intrigued me.

What I found was a very challenging book. From my perspective it was hugely about integrity and allowing God to shape how you express your inner strengths, particularly in the marriage relationship.

Fierce Women would be great for personal study or small discussion groups. There are truckloads (and I mean truckloads) of very challenging questions and you get a bird's eye view of the author's personal struggle in this area. I found her story to be very encouraging and insightful. It's easier to see your own sin (and own up to it) when it is modeled by someone else and, honestly, her transparency is refreshing. Her ability to cut right down to the truth is amazing (if not sometimes painful).

This book is going on my "read yearly" pile.
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