Start reading Fifty Shades of Beige: Book One of the Fifty Shades Parody on the free Kindle Reading App or on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
Read for Free
with Kindle Unlimited

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Enter a promotion code
or gift card

Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available

Fifty Shades of Beige: Book One of the Fifty Shades Parody [Kindle Edition]

Reid Mockery
2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (324 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99
Kindle Unlimited Read this title for free and get unlimited access to over 700,000 titles. Learn More

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets and computers.

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

"The Worrier's Guide to Life"
In her hugely popular comic drawings, Gemma Correll dispenses dubious advice and unreliable information on life as she sees it, including in her latest release, The Worrier's Guide to Life. Read it and weep...with laughter. Learn more

Book Description

While all the parody books for Fifty Shades have long passed into oblivion, this one still ranks on the best seller list week after week. For good reason. It's hilarious. Reid Mockery was the first to tap into the unlimited humor potential of EL James' books. To prove his talent is no fluke, Mockery released a sequel that was just as funny and a third that fittingly concludes the trilogy.

If there was ever a book worthy of a parody, it's Fifty Shades of Grey. In Book One the laughs come hard and frequent. (No pun intended) If you read the real book, you will be delighted with this light hearted alternate version.

The lead character is Annis Thesia. She's not that great looking, terribly naive and has fallen hard for Bobby Beige, Pittsburg's most eligible billionaire. The comic sexual exploits of this bizarre relationship will keep you going as you dive into the wild world of kinky sex with two total idiots.

Unlike others, this parody stands on it’s own as a quick-reading fun little romp. While based on the best-selling trilogy, it has it’s own unique wickedness, sense of humor and dialogue. It doesn't matter if you loved or hated the original Fifty Shades books, this work will amuse you and you won't have to think very hard.

Warning: It does contain some foul language and very weird acts not meant for normal people. This is seriously messed up while being very, very funny. As a full 35,000 word mini-novel, you get your money's worth and it may actually make you murmur.

The reviews are mixed almost exactly like the real books. Lotsa love. Lotsa hate. But, more often than not, this book has people who love parodies laughing out loud and reading passages to their friends. So, take some time and dive in to the crazy world of Annis and Bobby Beige.

Product Details

  • File Size: 710 KB
  • Print Length: 120 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Murmuring Press (December 5, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007YV3172
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,306 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

2.7 out of 5 stars
2.7 out of 5 stars
Share your thoughts with other customers
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
209 of 256 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fifty Shades of Grey... I mean Beige! May 15, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Did I hit the wrong button on my computer when I bought Fifty Shades of Beige here as a low-priced Kindle edition, or was it that the idea of such a parody maybe being better than the original? It's impossible to miss all of the media hype surrounding the highly popular trilogy by E.L. James. Like many, I've been curious about what all the fuss is all about, especially when I hear of libraries in Florida, Georgia and Wisconsin either not stocking the books or pulling them from shelves, with many citing what they say is inappropriate and explicit content.

Regarding the original, a Random House spokesperson was quoted as saying: "Random House fervently opposes literary censorship and supports the First Amendment rights of readers to make their own reading choices." Can't say that I'm surprised, since as of this writing, Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy is holding the #1 spot books and Kindle editions here on Amazon, and at almost ten bucks a pop, that's a lot of cash coming in for both the published and for author E.L. James, a TV executive, wife and mother of two, who is based in London.

For those who don't know, protagonist Anastasia Steele meets Christian Grey at his corporate headquarters in Seattle, and their relationship could not be more lopsided. Anastasia is a recent college graduate and a virgin in all explanations of the term. Mr. Grey is a handsome, brooding billionaire, and he's so accomplished in the arts of domination and bondage that he asks Anastasia to sign a contract of servitude.
Read more ›
Was this review helpful to you?
35 of 42 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hell yeah! July 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I snoozed my way through 50 shades of grey, I should have just stopped since even the sex scenes got boring and repetitive, I just thought at some point something redeaming would happen plot wize. I ordered 50 shades of beige and it's follow up 50 shades of marker and had to read them both twice because I couldnt believe how amazingly funny and clever they were. I shared scenes with my friend and we both literally cried with laughter. Some parts of this book i would say are "slow burners" You chuckle a bit when you first read them and then find you are still laughing when they pop into your mind randomly throughout the week. The only thing that threw me at first were the names of the characters as over the top cheesy, but upon second reading I really think they are brilliant and completely appropriate to the text. The sex scenes (the normal-ish ones) are comically more realistic than the original series. I mean, how many times can sex really be that mind blowing no matter who you are doing? I love Annis Thesia!!! My husband would like me to mention that although his name appears on this review it is actually Keri (his wife) writing it.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
35 of 42 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Kudo's to the writer! I laughed until I cried... had to take deep breaths and dab my eyes just to continue reading! Great job! Hope to see more from you!
Was this review helpful to you?
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely ridiculous! January 9, 2014
By Api
Format:Kindle Edition
I know this is meant to be a parody but it more than borders on being ridiculous so much so that I couldn't make it through the first few chapters.
Was this review helpful to you?
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny! Many a laugh to be had! June 6, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A parody is one thing. A GOOD parody is another. This is the latter.

Consistently funny throughout, "Reid Mockery" has put together a near-perfect counterpart to Fifty Shades of Grey. It follows the plot of the original very closely, poking fun in all the right places. It also manages to poke fun at the characters and their motivations underscoring it. Time and again, I found myself thinking, `That IS what that character is like, and it IS ridiculous!'
In a way, I think I understand the Grey characters BETTER after having read this!

And it was one of the very few times I found myself actually laughing out loud while reading a book.

A very funny book, I look forward to reading Mockery's take on books two and three in the series! Many a laugh to be had!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars worst book i have ever read i'm a true submissive July 9, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
worst book i have ever read i'm a true submissive, this book made me want to throw up. my Master never spoke to me like that and you can't learn to be submissive
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worse than the object of mockery December 13, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Shades of Grey was very worth satirizing, it's terribly written, and this supposed parody is even worse. It is not witty or pertinent. The first chapter was written with good purpose, but the writer clearly tired of the process, and tossed out a bad ending after a longdrawn and distasteful middle of filler. Not worth your time.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Boring as Beige December 5, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is the most boring parady I have evr read. You'd think that 50 Shades of Grey would be the easiest book to's crying out for it but this is a feeble attempt. The orignal is funnier (and that's not funny at all).
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Search Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Reid Mockery is Amazon's number one selling parody author. Consistently funny, he has successfully mocked Fifty Shades, Divergent and now John Green's The Fault In Our Stars. His work has earned a loyal following and he rewards his readers with fast moving parodies, that are short, cheap and guaranteed to brighten your day. Granted, it takes a special gift to be this stupid, but Reid seems to have it by the boatload.

Reid doesn't exactly look like Austin Powers, but he often channels his inner spirit. This image captures what Reid is feeling, so let's leave it at that.

When Reid Mockery makes parodic fun of a book, it is the greatest compliment that book can ever obtain.

He doesn't drink bottled water often. But, when he does, it's from Walmart.

Reid Mockery is so sexy, women buy and read his books by the thousands, just so they can run their fingers down the screen and feel his thick E ink. His words are like poetry, if poetry were entertaining.

He lives an anonymous life in the state of Tennessee searching for the next genre of books to skewer with his wicked sense of humor. Although he has written other books, he is best known for this best-selling parodies that make fun of the best selling books. This ground-breaking work has catapulted Mockery to the top of the Amazon sales charts to which Reid responds, "Yeah, Baby. Yeah!"

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Have something you'd like to share about this product?
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Look for Similar Items by Category