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Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks [Kindle Edition]

Phil Torcivia
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (147 customer reviews)

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Book Description

A parody.

When old fart blogger Mormon Silver goes to interview young entrepreneur Bea Plastique, he encounters a woman who is stunning, smart, and scary. The unsophisticated, horny Silver is startled to realize he wants this woman (from behind, mostly) and, despite her mysterious love of ice hockey, finds he is desperate to get close to her (and honk her boobies). Unable to resist Silver's oral skills, silver chin fur, and argyle socks, Plastique admits she wants him, too--but on her own terms.

Stunned yet delighted by Plastique's kinkiness, Silver hesitates. For all of her success--her multinational assortment of lubricants, her gay assistant, her condo on a high floor (I mean, really high--you're almost above the clouds, for Christ's sake)--Plastique is a woman haunted by her past and consumed by the need to have hockey-related sex. When the couple embarks on a bold, twisted physical affair, Mormon discovers Bea Plastique's secrets (including a naughty uncle) and explores his own icky, sticky desires.

Silly, sexy, and deeply disturbing, Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks is a tale that will make you horny, tickle you, and give you some great ideas to try on an unsuspecting lover.



About the Author

Phil Torcivia is the bestselling author of humorous books and parodies. He lives in San Diego and is admittedly one relationship disaster away from a third cat.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"So exciting ... if my man were here, he would be getting some HOT, JUICY right NOW!" - Angela

"Very sexy. I'm glowing ... sexually aroused 24/7." - Maggie

"More twists and turns in it than the one getting all the fame!" - Cristina

"Still laughing ... hilarious writing! Absolutely fabulous!" - Bonnie

About the Author

Torcivia is a divorced man who transplanted himself from Pennsylvania into the treacherous dating pool in Southern California. His feline companions, Syd and Symon, share his home in San Diego and an occasional dish of leftover tuna. Torcivia loves nothing better than bellying up to the bar with his favorite social lubrication (wine) and watching the bizarre mating rituals of the locals, which he translates into humorous essays. He has been single long enough to be involved in a few train wrecks of his own, admitting that he's "one relationship disaster away from a third cat."

Product Details

  • File Size: 199 KB
  • Print Length: 77 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1475299850
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Phil Torcivia (May 8, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0081NXVG8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #78,951 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.3 out of 5 stars
(147)
3.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
45 of 47 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks! July 18, 2012
By JMG
Format:Kindle Edition
"Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks" is hilarious.
I'm not ashamed to say that I read the original Fifty-Shades and immediately bought the next two books in the trilogy. However, I enjoyed Phil Torcivia's "Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks" every bit as much as the book that ignited the flame under this creation. I didn't just read his book, I absorbed the author's quirky wit and unique humor, reading at warp speed, swallowing page after page, start to finish with no pee breaks. And I had to go.
I laughed aloud even though my husband was sleeping beside me and I wished he didn't have to get up at 3:00 a.m. because I wanted to read the book aloud and share the fun.
The roller coaster twists and turns in the sexual escapades will be even funnier if you have read the first Fifty Shades, but I would have loved this story either way.
Torcivia's book was a delicious nightcap; and for me, it produced nitrous oxide style giggling.
Torcivia took Fifty Shades to an entirely new sphere and I applaud his creative imagination.
Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks introduced me to an author I will not forget and I was excited to read that this is just the first in his own Fifty Shades triology.
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fifty Shades of Hilarious January 11, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Wow. Well, what can I say? When someone tells you you're about to see/read/hear a parody of something, you think comedy. What this reminded me of, is that no matter how hot, how sexy, how passionate a moment, eventually we all have interrupting thoughts of the grocery list, or the laundry or 'did I leave the iron on??' It's just a fact: sometimes sex is hilarious. I've never read the original Fifty Shades...(no plans to--still), but I don't really need to. I'm sure it would pale in comparison to Mister Torcivia's work and I'm pretty satiated by it for the moment. I laughed out loud several times, read it in one sitting and was amused the entire way. Hysterical book. I'm also looking forward to reading the next one to this series...
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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So much fun! January 4, 2013
By Shelly
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I'm a fan of anything that makes me laugh, and the first half of this book had me doing lots of it. I was kind of surprised by how the second half took on more of a sweet turn, but still enjoyed the light, entertaining storyline. Great read!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Too tacky
When purchasing this book, I really thought it would be as good as Fifty Shades of Grey, but for the "older generation" of which I am a member. How wrong I was. Read more
Published 1 month ago by GraceC
3.0 out of 5 stars expected more
Thought it was a longer book and the reading was good but not what I had expected it to be.
Published 1 month ago by Cassandra L Hausman
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved!
Very much like 50 Shades of Grey! I really liked it...kept me wondering and I ended up finishing it in one day!
Published 1 month ago by Laci Alison
3.0 out of 5 stars Silver Socks, Short Parody, and a bit of Fun
This is the second parody of the "Fifty Shades" series, I have read, and while I haven't (and don't plan to) read the original books, THIS short (and first of 3) parody is... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Mari-Clare
1.0 out of 5 stars What a load of crock!!
A complete and total waste of time! On principle, I read through to the end but it was all very forgettable. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Motor Vessel
2.0 out of 5 stars Junk
Would not tell anyone to read these the are not very good or interesting. They are a waste of money and time.
Published 1 month ago by DAWNETTE
4.0 out of 5 stars Dumb but hillarious!
I think that for most men, Mormon Silvers is an alter ego. Hate to admit it but this was written from the hip and pokes fun at men. But hey, we are tough guys and can handle it. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Philly Mongrol
1.0 out of 5 stars Just terrible
I went into this hoping for a witty parody of what was a decently written although absurdly plotted novel in the original 50 Shades of Grey. Read more
Published 2 months ago by darkhorsejax
2.0 out of 5 stars Not for me
This was a free book for my Kindle. Thankfully, I did not have to pay for. I stopped reading after about three pages and deleted it from my Kindle. NOT my type of book.
Published 2 months ago by Mary K. Hemingway
1.0 out of 5 stars story line
I thought this book used entirely too much sexual conataions that just weren't needed to get the story line going . Read more
Published 2 months ago by sue b honey
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More About the Author

Torcivia is a divorced man who transplanted himself from Pennsylvania into the treacherous dating pool in Southern California. His feline companions, Syd and Symon, share his home in San Diego and an occasional dish of leftover tuna. Torcivia loves nothing better than bellying up to the bar with his favorite social lubrication (wine) and watching the bizarre mating rituals of the locals, which he translates into humorous essays. He has been single long enough to be involved in a few train wrecks of his own, admitting that he's "one relationship disaster away from a third cat."

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