Fifty Shades of Greyscale

A Listmania! list by John Williamson (NYC & Bucks County, PA)
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The list author says: "You're no doubt well aware now of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series of books written by Erika Leonard, better known by the pseudonym E. L. James. She's the author of the bestselling erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” along with its sequels. James initially wrote fan fiction under the pen name ‘Snowqueens Icedragon’, with her most notable work being a Twilight fanfiction that was eventually developed into Fifty Shades of Grey. At the time of this writing, the Fifty Shades of Grey titles are dominating the bestseller lists on both Amazon.com and on the New York Times. They also top the 'Most Wished For in Books' list as of this writing. The series has sold around 20 million copies, with book rights having been sold in 37 countries.

That's the thumbnail version.

But grey has a number of interesting connotations. In photography (and in computing), a greyscale or gray scale digital image is one in which the value of each pixel is a single sample, that is, it carries only intensity information. Images of this sort are composed exclusively of shades of gray, varying from black at the weakest intensity to white at the strongest. And it’s funny how greyscale also relates to the Fifty Shades of Grey and the growing number of spinoffs and parodies, especially in terms of intensity. Some of these you may enjoy; others you may wish to shun. In any case, you’ll hopefully at least be more well versed in this topic.

This List is will hopefully help you, the reader, to navigate the occasional shoals and even if you don’t purchase the books and/or other items related to the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon of 2012.

On the other hand, I'm waiting for the rumored parody "Fifty Shades of Home Depot" considering that the stories are said to have also contributed to the rise of female shoppers rope aisle in hardware stores seeking 12-gauge, non-braided nylon rope.

Happy reading... but I digress."
Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
1.  Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E. L. James
The list author says:
  "What better place to start with the first one, a GoodReads Choice Awards Finalist for Best Romance. But the best part of this is the array of reviews, and be sure to put your coffee down before reading some of these. Be prepared for a very kinky read, and my nominee for the 'Book With the Most Annoyingly Overused Phrases" for 2012."
$8.76   Used & New from: $1.98
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19,515 customer reviews)

Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
2.  Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E. L. James
The list author says:
  "It's awful, the writing needed an editor with at least a bit more education than a ninth-grade dropout, and the typos are atrocious. There's graphic BDSM, but as one reviewer said: "... sensuality is once again hot, hot, hot." If that's your thing, read Book One first then go for it."
$8.76   Used & New from: $1.19
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7,151 customer reviews)

Fifty Shades Freed: Book Three of the Fifty Shades Trilogy
3.  Fifty Shades Freed: Book Three of the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E. L. James
The list author says:
  "Here we have product endorsements (Audi, Saab and more), emotional instability, fun with shaving (he shaves her and she shaves him), smirking, muttering, blushing and lip-biting, and then there's her 'inner goddess' constantly speaking. Of course there are the handcuffs, just as you see on the cover."
$10.04   Used & New from: $3.94
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7,111 customer reviews)

Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed 3-volume Boxed Set
4.  Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed 3-volume Boxed Set by E. L. James
The list author says:
  "Especially designed for those Fifty Shades of Grey fans who can't get enough, this 3-volume boxed set is due to be released on June 12th, 2012. And as noted, gift-wrap is available for those who want to share the experience. Since it's been pulled from some libraries in Florida, Georgia and Wisconsin, some may appreciate this as a gift."
$27.72   Used & New from: $17.23
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6,096 customer reviews)

Fifty Shades of Beige: Book One of the Fifty Shades Parody (Reid Mockery)
5.  Fifty Shades of Beige: Book One of the Fifty Shades Parody (Reid Mockery) by Reid Mockery
The list author says:
  "Fifty Shades of Grey was bound (no pun intended) to inspire some parodies, and in this one by Reid Mockery, readers are introduced to Annis Thesia, a naive young graduate who becomes intoxicated sensually by billionaire Bobby Beige. I had to review it, and this Kindle edition is the best of the parody titles, and in my subjective opinion, it's better written as well."
$2.99
2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (182 customer reviews) | 1 customer discussion

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Fifty Shades of Garbage (A Parody)
6.  Fifty Shades of Garbage (A Parody) by Allie Beck
The list author says:
  "Fifty Shades of Grey mania has hit middle-class America. Marcia devours the 'Mommy Porn' and Joe scorns it, while secretly listening to a pirated audiobook on his morning commute. Repulsed and drawn to it all, Marcia comes to Joe with a request: can he be her Christian and she'll be his Ana? At only 22 pages, if you're into that genre known as 'dumpsterotica' then this is the one for you."
$2.99
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks
7.  Fifty Shades of Silver Hair and Socks by Phil Torcivia
The list author says:
  "When old fart blogger Mormon Silver goes to interview young entrepreneur Bea Plastique, he encounters a woman who is stunning, smart, and scary. Unable to resist Silver's special skills, silver chin fur, and argyle socks, Plastique admits she wants him, too, but on her own terms. It's 76 pages, but read the reviews."
$5.39   Used & New from: $1.13
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (148 customer reviews)

Fifty Shades of Gravy
8.  Fifty Shades of Gravy by Jenny Ric
The list author says:
  "Very short and snarky: When culinary student Vanessa Biscuits attends cooking class with renowned chef Chef Gray, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. Gray admits he wants her on his own terms – covered in gravy."
Out of stock
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)

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Fifty Shades of Black and Blue
9.  Fifty Shades of Black and Blue by I B Naughtie
The list author says:
  "Annabelle Stilletto is from Jersey City, NJ, a beauty school grad who has no job and lives with her loser roommate. Then she meets her dream guy, the rich and handsome Vinnie Griso, heir to the Vinnie's Auto Parts empire. She falls for Vinnie’s seductive charms, not to mention his blue eyes, jet-black hair, tight black pants and pointy shoes.  Reviews are widely split."
$2.99
2.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (70 customer reviews)

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A Million Shades of Green: The Real Story Behind Fifty Shades of Grey
10.  A Million Shades of Green: The Real Story Behind Fifty Shades of Grey by Sean Black
The list author says:
  "Thriller writer Sean Black , author of the Ryan Lock books, tells how a novel-length piece of BDSM fan fiction called featuring Twilight characters Edward Cullen and Bella Swan was secretly transformed into the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Fifty Shades of Grey, before being sold on for millions of dollars to one of America's most esteemed publishing imprints and a major movie studio."
$2.99
2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

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Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody
11.  Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody by Andrew Shaffer
The list author says:
  "Fanny Merkin lives in a Beverly Hills mansion purchased using the embarrassingly large advance she received for Fifty Shames of Earl Grey.  She is a former Walmart employee who writes under the pseudonym, "Andrew Shaffer," for publications as diverse as Mental Floss and Maxim. It’s 224 pages, and to be released July 31, 2012"
$11.14   Used & New from: $0.87
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (66 customer reviews)

Cincuenta sombras de Grey (Vintage Espanol) (Spanish Edition)
12.  Cincuenta sombras de Grey (Vintage Espanol) (Spanish Edition) by E L James
The list author says:
  "It had to be done: the Spanish language version of Fifty Shades of Grey, and due for release on June 5th, 2012. La exitosa combinación de historia romántica y juego erótico de alto voltaje que ha tocado la fibra de muchas mujeres."
$10.98   Used & New from: $9.40
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (168 customer reviews) | 1 customer discussion

Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire: Anais's Sin
13.  Fifty Shades of Gary the Vampire: Anais's Sin by Sabrina Swan
The list author says:
  "Someone had to do a spin-off with vampires... Gary, a time-traveling vampire, makes his modern living dominating, tying up and spanking his willing prey. He has an even stranger quirk, wearing sunglasses everywhere, even in bed. His partners think it’s a kinky fetish, but Gary’s shaded eyes hide a terrible secret, one that he doesn’t want anyone to know."
$2.99
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Filthy Shames of Lame
14.  Filthy Shames of Lame by Ricky Sprague
The list author says:
  "Artlesstasia Chille is a very naive, virginal young woman. At 21 she has never been with a man, seeking romantic comfort only from old, long British novels like the Dowager Lady Empyrean’s 38-volume ‘Women Writing Interminable Letters to One Another’ series. Then one day, she meets the hot Chastening Lame.   Good cover, but read the reviews first."
$0.99
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

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Fifty Shades of Grey: Fact or Fake Trivia Challenge
15.  Fifty Shades of Grey: Fact or Fake Trivia Challenge by Big Brain Trivia
The list author says:
  "FACT or FAKE? James based the character of Christian Grey on a man she dated before meeting her husband.  FACT or FAKE? One Florida library praised Fifty Shades as a breakthrough in contemporary fiction. Learn which are true and which are false in this adult trivia challenge for your Kindle."
$0.99
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Fifty Shades of Goop
16.  Fifty Shades of Goop by Jackson Jones
The list author says:
  "When Women's Studies student Mary Sue Swannk goes to interview young, rich, vigorous businessman Edward Guptra, she encounters...well, you'll find out what she encounters in this small Kindle edition."
Out of stock
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Silver Gray Fabric Lamp Shade 4x5.5x5 (Clip-On)
17.  Silver Gray Fabric Lamp Shade 4x5.5x5 (Clip-On) by Universal Lighting and Decor
The list author says:
  "It's a shade, OK? And it's grey, and you can get fifty different ones if you like. Whatever turns you on and illuminates your life..."
$12.99
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

Ray-Ban RB2132 New Wayfarer Sunglasses
18.  Ray-Ban RB2132 New Wayfarer Sunglasses by Ray-Ban
The list author says:
  "Ashamed to be seen in public reading Fifty Shades of Grey? Then get a pair of these Ray-Ban shades... and yes, you can get them in grey. What did you expect?"
$73.90 - $199.00
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,194 customer reviews)

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Gray Card 18% R-27
19.  Gray Card 18% R-27 by Kodak
The list author says:
  "In photography, be it digital or with film, you don't need 50 shades of grey, you only need one. The gray side has 18% reflectance, and the white side 90% reflectance. For determining exposure, adjusting lighting ratio and checking light distribution. Envelope contains two 8 x 10 cards and a pocketable 4 x 5 card, plus instructions."
$17.99
3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

The Digital Zone System Primer
20.  The Digital Zone System Primer by Thomas Harrop
The list author says:
  "The Zone System for optimal photographic exposure was originally formulated by Ansel Adams and Fred Archer in about 1940, and we use it today. It assigns numbers from 0 through 10 to different brightness values, with 0 representing black, 5 middle grey, and 10 pure white; these values are known as zones. In photography we don’t need fifty shades of grey to make an outstanding image."
$28.56

I Am A Pole (And So Can You!)
21.  I Am A Pole (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
The list author says:
  "If you've gotten this far, you may want to bypass all of the BSDM, the 'hot' stuff, the trivia and the parodies. Take a break and look at Stephen Colbert's extremely witty book here, one that you won’t have to hide from anyone. It’s the wittiest under 10-minute title that I've thumbed through and then read this year... and maybe last year as well.
 
And thanks for reading all of this!"
$12.26   Used & New from: $1.49
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (144 customer reviews) | 1 customer discussion

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John Williamson (NYC & Bucks County, PA)
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   
Qualifications: Reader, visual tonal critic and occasional curmudgeon
Last updated: 7/18/12
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