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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks Kindle Edition

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Length: 258 pages

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In an author interview, Adam Carolla discusses what it was like to write a book without having read one.

Editorial Reviews Review

A Letter from Author Adam Carolla

In a letter to readers of the Kindle blog, Adam Carolla provides his comic, imaginative take on the ebook experience.

Dear Kindle readers,

Part of the overall bizarre experience of writing my first book, In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks, was thinking about it coming out on Kindle as an ebook. These Kindles are amazing. You can fit 3,500 books on something the size of two maxi-pads. And as my grandpa used to say, there’s nothing like curling up in front of a roaring fire with 3,470 good books.

Unlike you good people, I was never a big book fan. In fact, we’ve had a troubled relationship. I was unable to get my high school diploma because I had not returned a copy of We the People to the school library. It occurs to me that in a few short years the Kindle could render the library obsolete, which is a troubling thought. I don’t know if I want to live in a country where an able-bodied, unemployable guy can’t waste a Tuesday reading a USA Today that’s been spot-welded to a bamboo Japanese fighting stick.

I still can’t get over the capacity of these things: 3,500 books. Can we figure out a way to apply this technology to other areas? Hey Mr. Kindle, for your next invention, let’s focus on a thermos that holds eighty gallons of beer, a lunch box that holds a six-foot sub, or a single suitcase that can contain Lady Gaga’s entire wardrobe. And if you could find a way to stuff her in there too, and then lose it at LAX, that would be great.

Strangest of all was when I was asked to write for this Kindle blog. First, Kindle blog sounds like an obscure Austrian holiday celebrated the first Sunday after Christmas. “Run to the butcher, fetch his fattest goose, and prepare the figgy pudding. Tomorrow is Kindleblog!” But more important, prior to this, the longest thing I’d written on the Internet were some tweets and my eBay password.

By the way, right now you’re reading on your Kindle about reading on your Kindle. This is getting too deep, man. I’ve got to wrap this up. It’s harshing my mellow.


"Carolla...has keen political instincts and a vision for common sense."
--New York Post

"Laugh-out-loud funny… [Adam Carolla’s] invective-filled screed is often completely politically incorrect, and always completely hilarious."

"If comedy books were big-breasted porn stars, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon."
--Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author of The Book of Basketball

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."
--Jimmy Kimmel

"Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person."
--Alec Baldwin

"If you’re a man, read this book.  If you’re a man who wears turtlenecks, wise up.  Nobody thinks that looks good."
--Seth MacFarlane

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor—fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny—sucks out like liposuction the  layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”
--Ken Burns

From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • File Size: 2695 KB
  • Print Length: 258 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0307717372
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype; Reprint edition (November 2, 2010)
  • Publication Date: November 2, 2010
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003F3PLOE
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #75,190 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Adam Carolla is the author of the New York Times bestsellers In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks and Not Taco Bell Material, as well as a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. Carolla is well known as the cohost of the syndicated radio and MTV show Loveline and the cocreator and star of The Man Show and Crank Yankers. He currently hosts Catch a Contractor and The Adam Carolla Show, which is the Guinness World Record holder for Most Downloaded Podcast and is available on iTunes and

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

128 of 149 people found the following review helpful By bobkondz on November 3, 2010
Format: Hardcover
If you already know Adam's body of work I don't need to convince you.

For those looking to judge the book by the cover and are just looking to complain how the 'man show guy' is being a 'sexist pig' - take the time to read the pages and, if you have an open mind, you will find yourself laughing at his takes and actually agreeing with many.

The book is actually rather well written and organized perfectly to keep the reader entertained. Although it is laid out to be more of a bathroom reader, you will likely find yourself not being able to put the book down and eventually wanting more.
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102 of 122 people found the following review helpful By Kevin Hench on November 4, 2010
Format: Hardcover
50 years? Oh, that we had that long. Unlike most of these "reviewers" I've actually read this book and can honestly say Carolla writes with a jaunty combo of pith and panache that evokes the best of Hemingway, Mailer and Rickles. Makes a great ironic gift for your boss, if your boss is Gloria Allred.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Greg N. on November 26, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'll admit, I've been an Adam Carolla fan since I heard him on Loveline and saw him on the Man Show. I was baffled when "The Adam Carolla Project" didn't turn into a multi-season show. This guy is a real man, which based off what is spewed across the various types of media in front of me, I'll assume is pretty damn rare in Hollywood these days. While it's easy to see the fruits of his labor have finally paid off for him financially, it's refreshing to see a guy who earned his level of a lifestyle still continue to do what he knows how to do instead of become another pompous a-hole with a checkbook sitting around in white shorts and dock shoes smoking a damn cigar with a sweater draped over his shoulders. Instead of crying about how hard it is to work x days a week and be rich, the man encourages people to keep working despite success and the guy leads by example in my opinion.

He's funny because he's not afraid of being politically incorrect, but I doubt he sat down saying "How many topics can I talk about to sound politically incorrect." He's simply got the balls to publicly say what the few remaining real men in this world say only when they're inside their comfort zone, that is to their buddies. It's refreshing to see someone being honest by saying that he'd rather have been in the parking lot handing out cigars while his kids were being born, why white people with nothing else to worry about in life make up the majority of people who participate in fantasy sports, and why only a self entitled clown says they "rescued" a dog when they merely picked the cutest one out of the caged confines of the shelter.
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44 of 55 people found the following review helpful By Mr. Twisted on January 22, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As the title of my review suggests, this book is 3/5th awesome.

Why did I word it that way? Allow me to explain.

I didn't give the book three out of five stars because it was just "ok." Rather, I gave it three out of five stars because 3/5th of the book is outstanding and the rest is....filler.

The first half of the book made me laugh out loud regularly and want to stand up while saying "yes! Exactly!" His commentary is spot on and needs to be read by every wimpy, "progressive-minded" person out there. As well as all the chicks who want guys to be more sensitive. Oh and a whole host of politicians.

Where the book fails is in the obvious filler that exists in the second half of the book. It is very clear that he had half of a book's worth of material and the publishers said "hey, you need more stuff. So just look around your house for stuff to complain about."

The second half comes across exactly that way -- like a guy who just walked around his house and/or the grocery store and said "yeah, I don't like that. I'll rant about that for a page or so." Pizza? Pie? Do I really want to read Adam Carolla whine about why cake is inferior to pie but sells more? No.

In short, he does an excellent job of pointing out some of the absurdities in how our lives have become increasingly feminized and how men have, by and large, completely given up. And he does so while making the reader laugh regularly. That is, if the reader isn't a completely wimp-a-fied weenie already.

Had the book been cut in half, I would give it five stars.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Celia Bauer on January 20, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I first became a fan of Adam Carolla from listening to Love Line years ago on the radio. I hadn't yet discovered his podcast when I saw this book for sale back in November. I was skeptical about whether his very funny verbal delivery would translate well into the written word and still be just as funny. It does and is. After finishing the book I gave it to a friend who had never heard of Adam. He laughed out loud by page 3, where Adam compares the shame he felt in 5th grade over his inability to read, after spending years in ceramics classes at an alternative school, to the shame that's felt by incest survivors, only he was raped by a potter's wheel.

Not only is he funny, but he makes some really interesting points about human nature. He's got great insight. He makes me laugh, and think. That's a wonderful combo. I don't agree with all of his rantings, but I agree with the majority, which surprises me sometimes. Considering I'm a white female in my forties who is admittedly not the biggest fan of the track record of white males through history, that's an accomplishment. Humor has a wonderful ability to disarm people and get them to laugh at themselves and the world. I've enjoyed Adam's humor disarming some of my perceptions and helping me to look at things from another angle, exposing me to some of my own prejudices that I wasn't fully aware of. And even tho he is at times an unrepentant pig about his lust for women, he expresses it in a way that I can't help but laugh at, instead of getting turned off and defensive as I usually do when hearing men objectify women. OMG, am I starting to understand men????
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Sample Pages
Best book I haven't read yet!!
Jul 27, 2010 by M. Holdrege |  See all 12 posts
Is the horrible grammar in this book part of the joke?
I'm a former copy editor and I didn't have a problem with the grammar. It's written in a very conversational (and confrontational) style. Can you provide an example of said horrible grammar?
Dec 7, 2010 by Curtis G |  See all 12 posts
doucheface macfarlame review Be the first to reply
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