In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy [Hardcover]

Adam Carolla (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 2, 2010

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar.  It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills.  He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID.  At first the old sea captain just laughed.  But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again.  At this point it became apparent that he was serious.  Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son."  The bartender replied, "New policy.  Everyone has to show their ID."  Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II.

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys.  What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.  Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. 

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. 


ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program "Dancing with the Stars". Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Guest Reviewer: Seth MacFarlane
Seth MacFarlane is best known for creating the animated sitcoms Family Guy, American Dad! and The Cleveland Show.

Reading In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks opened my eyes to three things: 1) Adam is a top-notch complainer, probably the best in the world, 2) America is in serious trouble, and 3) Adam is hilarious.

Adam uses this book to break down our societal shortcomings using the combination of logic and humor that he’s perfected. He made me glad that I never leave the house. Going out entails interacting with the general public, and the general public is dumb (no offense to those of you in the general public). And when I say dumb, I don’t mean the innocent kind of dumb like a dog that thinks his reflection is another dog. I mean the dangerous kind of dumb, like Lennie in Of Mice and Men—good-natured, mentally limited, and tremendously powerful. You leave your house one morning to get groceries, and you end up getting your neck accidentally broken by the guy giving you directions out of the parking lot.

In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks is less of a book, and more of a guide for how to be a better man and/or woman (mostly man). Buy this book. Don’t buy it because I told you to; buy it because it’s funny. Buy it if you think Phillips Head is an alt rock band or if you wear V-neck T-shirts. Definitely buy it if you call appetizers “tapas” or if “LOL” is anywhere in your vocabulary. Buy this book and study it.

Review

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."
--Jimmy Kimmel

"Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person."
--Alec Baldwin

"If you’re a man, read this book.  If you’re a man who wears turtlenecks, wise up.  Nobody thinks that looks good."
--Seth MacFarlane

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor—fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny—sucks out like liposuction the  layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”
--Ken Burns

"If comedy books were big-breasted porn stars, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon."
--Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author of The Book of Basketball

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Crown Archetype (November 2, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307717372
• ISBN-13: 978-0307717375
• Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 1 x 9.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (328 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #30,020 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

94 of 107 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best commentary on how 99% of us really think, November 3, 2010

By 

bobkondz - See all my reviews

This review is from: In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy (Hardcover)

If you already know Adam's body of work I don't need to convince you.

For those looking to judge the book by the cover and are just looking to complain how the 'man show guy' is being a 'sexist pig' - take the time to read the pages and, if you have an open mind, you will find yourself laughing at his takes and actually agreeing with many.

The book is actually rather well written and organized perfectly to keep the reader entertained. Although it is laid out to be more of a bathroom reader, you will likely find yourself not being able to put the book down and eventually wanting more.

79 of 94 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Well Done, Ace, November 4, 2010

By 

Kevin Hench (Los Angeles, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy (Hardcover)

50 years? Oh, that we had that long. Unlike most of these "reviewers" I've actually read this book and can honestly say Carolla writes with a jaunty combo of pith and panache that evokes the best of Hemingway, Mailer and Rickles. Makes a great ironic gift for your boss, if your boss is Gloria Allred.

37 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny, November 5, 2010

By 

Olivia - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy (Hardcover)

Adam Carolla knows what he's talking about. As a white woman in her 20's, even I see the commonsense of his writing-and I can't stop laughing at his hilarious rants! I've been listening to his podcast for a year now and just can't get enough. He's right on target with everything from religion to politics, and I'm thrilled that he has released a book..I even stayed up most of the night reading it.

I just hope more mainstream society reads it and gets some commonsense knocked into them. This country is a mess, and it would do us well to listen to Adam. Get this book as a christmas gift for friends/family.