Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce [Paperback]

Howard J. Markman (Author), Scott M. Stanley (Author), Susan L. Blumberg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 26, 2010

A thorough revision with a new DVD of couples in action, using the PREP method for strengthening marriage and avoiding divorce court

The third edition of the best-selling classic on marriage enhancement and divorce prevention, features the latest research and changes of heart in our culture and society. New and revised, Fighting for Your Marriage is based on the widely acclaimed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach. Groundbreaking studies have found that couples can use the strategies of this approach to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up.

• The book is based on more than twenty years of university research
• Explores how to apply the PREP approach to any marriage
• Shows couples how to talk more and fight less, deepen and protect their friendship, and keep the fun alive
• Reveals what it takes to have a more intimate, sensual relationship and how to clarify and act on priorities

The authors have included a wealth of techniques and down-to-earth guidance for all couples who seek to promote greater character and pleasure in their long-term relationships.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The authors provide an encyclopedia-like wealth of information, from escaping destructive patterns to controlling conflict to playing together." (Library Journal, May 15, 2010)

From the Back Cover

Since 1994, the best-selling classic Fighting for Your Marriage has been the go-to reference for couples that want to enhance their marriage and prevent divorce. This thoroughly revised and updated third edition (which contains a new instructional DVD for couples) is based on the widely acclaimed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach. Groundbreaking studies have found that couples who use the strategies of this proven approach are able to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up.

The authors have included a wealth of proven, research-based techniques and down-to-earth guidance for all couples who seek to promote greater character and pleasure in their long-term relationships.

Praise for Fighting for Your Marriage

"A divorce prevention society should be formed to place a copy of this book in every hotel room in this country. Every wife or husband struggling to stay married, especially happily married, should read this book."
—Maggie Gallagher, coauthor, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially

"I love this book! If you want to be happily, successfully married, buy it, master it, and it's all you'll ever need. While you're at it, buy a copy for every couple you love. You won't need one for your kids, they'll learn by watching you."
—Diane Sollee, founder and director, Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 464 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 3 edition (April 26, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470485914
• ISBN-13: 978-0470485910
• Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 1.3 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,629 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #23 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Sociology > Marriage & Family

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book for couples September 13, 2010

By Carolyn K. Patterson

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"Fighting for Your Marriage" is a great book. I not only saw how my husband reacts to situations, but also saw myself very clearly. I have begun to correct my attitude and how I approach issues and have noticed a better response from him. Great exercises. I recommend this book to anyone just starting out or those individuals who have been married a long time and are struggling.

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Every Marriage August 8, 2010

By Allan M. Lees

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Sadly I discovered this book too late for my own marriage - my wife had already gone by the time I read this. I'd worked hard on the relationship for over six years, but in retrospect I can see we both lacked crucial skills and insights, though it's probable that in the end nothing will save a relationship under certain circumstances. But for those times when things are in the balance and the right steps can make all the difference, this is the book to read.

Like all self-help books it takes nearly 300 pages to say what could be said in 15, but that's par for the course and no doubt many people will find it helpful to take the time to get through the repetitions and iterations. I found each section of the book to contain something of value, and at many times during the book I found myself thinking "I wish I'd thought of that" or "I wish we'd had this tool" and in general little was silly or wrong aside from two supposed "facts." The first is that, according to the authors, research shows people who live together before getting married have less successful marriages than those that marry before living together. I've seen a lot of data over the years and I know this claim to be based on a very incomplete understanding of what the data actually reveals. In Europe, for example, there have been several well-designed studies that clearly show couples who live together for at least 18 months prior to marriage have both happier and longer-lasting relationships. The second error is the statement that couples who have strong religious beliefs have happier marriages. Again, I'm not aware of this being the case from real-world data and the examples cited by the authors in the appendix are, upon closer inspection, flawed and highly selective.... Again, well-controlled studies show that there's no statistical effect discernible.

But these two mistakes aside - and they are errors no doubt intended to broaden the book's appeal in conservative America - the book has a lot of useful suggestions, tools, and methods of self-discovery. There are gaps and omissions, of course, but by the end of the book most readers will have begun to fill in such gaps for themselves. In short, I highly recommend this book to anyone in a relationship who would like to make it stronger and better. But no book can work miracles and no amount of self-awareness can overcome the imperatives of biology, so it's only going to make a difference on the margins. Read more ›

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Useful Book August 8, 2010

By Loves to Read

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I am a marriage counselor and have used this book a lot. My clients who have read it comment that "this book was written about us." Most marriage issues are about communication and this book manages to address them all. I don't think it is a substitute for marriage counseling but certainly a great addition. And if you can't bring yourself to talk to a counselor please read this great book!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Very infomative January 28, 2013

By Kumu Kaiapuni Hawaii

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This book is great because you can read it out of order and it still gives you ideas on how to help your marriage. It is based on research and not just prayer. It gives you tools to work on and helps you see things differently. I wish there was a workbook but it does give you discussion questions.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE this book! August 24, 2010

By Aubrey Prunty

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I am really impressed with this book. My husband and I have read many marriage-help books in preventative maintenance for our marriage and this is by far the best book we've read so far. It really helps to understand the things that were written in it to help your marriage thrive, preventing major disasters by applying what you read. It is very well written, easy to read and even humorous to keep interest and a good attitude while reading it. I recommend having an open mind and to really soak up each page because they are filled with excellent points, educationally stimulating research, and convicting passages that really prompt change in your development as a spouse. There were some things that were very true to my character and allowed me the opportunity to see myself from someone else's perspective, encouraging me to practice better habits and responses to circumstances around me. I loved this book, and I'm keeping it on my shelf to refer back to whenever necessary, and of course in plain view to recommend to my friends and family.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Must read if you have been married 10 years or more June 14, 2010

By Amy Saab

Format:Paperback

This book really gave me a new perspective on marrige. It does require the full participation of both partners, however. You BOTH have to want to do this. To do the exercises in this book, each person has to deal more with what they themselves are doing/ not doing and face it... then, to sympathize with your partner. It shows you how to look for the good and be open, little by little. It has great examples. I urge couples who want to make a real difference to hold hands and jump into this book with all you've got. The rewards could be untold. This book can be a phenomenol tool in learning how to relate to and understand one other. It is a very introspective course in learning what lies behind all the little things, as well as the really big things and how your own actions can be read, and misread, by your partner.

5.0 out of 5 stars Every Married, Dating, living Relationship Should worth Through May 25, 2013

By Craig Oldenburg

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This book was introduced to me with its first version and I was able to use it in my own relationships, in counseling college roommates...and now this update with the DVD makes it so available. It could save able of marriages...yes...but it even makes good marriages so much more fun when the speaker-listener technique it shares gets used.

5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE IT! February 18, 2013

By Kate

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This is such a great book for anyone wanting to improve their marriage and/or any other relationships. I've used these techniques for over 13 years in my marriage... We can solve hard problems together and conquer disagreements using the Speaker-Listener Technique. Well written with great examples!