Figuring It Out (Paperback)

by N. S. B. (Author) "I was terrified of coming out..." (more)
Key Phrases: West Hollywood

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
A lesbian's personal story of recognizing and accepting her sexual orientation and coming out as gay - as expressed in her journals and other writing over the course of 9 years. An attempt to expose the internal struggle a person must go through - the innner monologue as it progresses from a subconscious knowledge of a difference, to consciousness and all of the phases that make up the journey to living the truth.

Product Details

• Paperback: 268 pages
• Publisher: N.S.B. (March 13, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0979216303
• ISBN-13: 978-0979216305
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #399,840 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This books answers how a known "straight" can be honestly not straight at all, August 1, 2008

By	M. Rafa - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book for I always wonder how sometimes a known "straight" person would just fall in love with the same sex. We heard and have read studies that one of the reasons of being gay / lesbian is because of influences from the environment. However, this book describes how the environment suppressed who she is... how the environment prevented her to be really true to herself. It portraits one of the reasons of being gay is because one is gay on her own... how one's soul would love to live in the truth no matter how hard one tries to ignore and not to act on it.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars For Everyone, October 25, 2007

By	Risa E. Walters "Steady Dancing" (Norman, OK) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Most of us spend our lives "Figuring It Out," and the increasing, explosive popularity of personal "coming-to-gay" dramedy novels put to paper pushes writers towards more creative expressions of their plaque autobiography. When people think of David Sedaris the mind reflexively thinks of Augusten Burroughs, but few can think of popular lesbian authors read by straight people; I couldn't name one until I read NSB's book. Wouldn't a young, uncertain lesbian-to-admit teenager seek an atom-splitting resource of undine-like literature to provide guidance and certainty? The option would be optimal. What this novel asks of you is an open-mind, providing not only a teenage-to-womanhood, gay perspective but also lends all levels of innate sexuality to realize we're all people and with similar emotions about love - we're human.

Straight - that's me. Is it a preference, choice, or inherent? I have never questioned; I just know. So, why do lesbians and gays feel the impulse to express their lives in books, television shows and parades like freedom from a cage? Because society is unbalanced with respects to acceptance and accepting; it's a barrier preventing us from truly being free-loving people, a good reason we were created in the first place. What NSB does is welcome you into her childhood home, presents you raw to her thoughts and emotions without a backward reflection biased story; these are her words in the moment.

What I realized from reading the earlier years is I'm a lot like the author: I desired to be loved, didn't feel close to girls but had many boys as friends, and desired to be understood. Where we unfold is the later years, the uncouth teenage years leading to adult-hood. Although, unlike an opaque, fogged mirror on a winter morning after a warm-numbing shower, clarity is not revealed with time - it forgets it. The author strays from emotional depth and delves into aching, hyperactivity towards "coming out." A truthful and monumental climb for the author and the outcome is to be seen.

I went to college with the author, but I didn't "know." Now I understand her even more, but it's a Pandora's Box revealing a spirit of secretive matter. What I desired was a less fearful approach: How did she feel towards friends in college and after, especially the ones she was close (roommates, film buddies, work pals...)? The specificity lacks in relation to the desire to understand and know. The book tends to skate passively across the important moments, but the benefits arising from the possibilities of this piece overpower the former, even if but slightly.

This is the first echo heard by me of the lesbian voices shouting into the cave. It doesn't mean others haven't screamed their plight; it's just the first time I've listened. The book aims to attract the confused and transform the judgmental, bringing confidence to the fearful to express openly and understanding to ones of indifference. It should definitely be read by friends and parents of lesbians, and may prove a helpful turn-pager for those who feel "coming out" is demise.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Read This Book. Here's why:, September 23, 2007

By	Mr. J "...you know you love me." (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews

Figuring It Out tells the true story of a young woman admitting to herself, and eventually to her friends--and her boyfriends--that she is a lesbian. The collection of journal entries spans 1997 to 2006, from N's high school day to her post-college life. I knew the author before she came out, I still know her now, and I am proud of this, her first foray into the literary world. Figuring It Out is kind of like a full-length version of one of the stories in Am I Blue?, which I also own.

My favorite parts in the book were N's interactions with her family, including her emotionally abusive father. There's this one scene where he chastises her for using separate glasses for her orange juice and her water, instead of finishing the cup of orange juice, rinsing it out, and reusing it for her water. Crazy...

[Google "Steve the Penguin" for the rest of the review.]